USMOTM: Killer Karl Kox with Bobby Heenan vs. Stan Hansen – sometime in slow and syrupy good Georgia time

Hansen is your Georgia state television champion, and this was sent to me by my man Lee down in Florida, who had to be overseas in whichever wars we’re in now while his firstborn became born, but now he’s home, and politics means nothing because he’s just a man looking to pay the bills and I’m just a man looking to pay the bills and we both enjoy a good Tommy Rich match and we both enjoy a good cold beer and sometimes I wish politics was more like collecting money amongst a group of people playing cards to make a beer run before the store closes, but that analogy would only ruin making beer runs. Gordon Solie does a fine job at setting up how tenacious these two men are and how the ref is gonna have one dollybrook of a time trying to keep this one in containment. Hansen’s early offense is the dreaded Texas Side Headlock. Oh, the beers Hansen and Kox must’ve shared in Georgia bars during this time. Kox takes control and throws better punches and stomps than almost anybody you could see today, but he does it with baldheaded flair. And now, Ernie Ladd has joined Gordon in the commentary booth, and polishes his wrestling boots with Stan Hansen’s cowboy hat, which draws the attention, and then ire of Stan, which leads to a count-out victory for Killer Karl Kox. Holy fuck, if there’s a Hansen/Ladd match coming up on this shit, I’m stoked. And to make it perfect old school territorial clusterfuck TV, Tommy Rich dashes in wearing a three-piece suit sans the jacket and pummels and bites blood from Killer Karl Kox’s forehead. Goddamn, I am an old old man because this all makes so much sense to me while I could give less than half a fuck about a SUPER INDY CRUISER SHOWDOWN MOTYC-OF-THE-WEEKEND!