The Mid-Eastern Athletic Conference fires up their tournament tonight, and I've always found it odd that the CIAA - a division II conference of HCBUs (for historically black college or university, not the cooling power of an air conditioner) - gets more ESPN "awesome black college it's like old school with afros and shit BOOYA!" love than the two Division I all-black all-strong conferences, of which the MEAC is one. The MEAC tournament is one of the few that have oddball variations to them. MEAC apparently refuses for the most part to play more than two games in one day, meaning the whittling down of 11 teams takes almost the whole week. But these black college things are usually excuses for old guys that would hang out with Cliff Huxtable wearing gold-rimmed Gucci prescription sunglasses to take a week off and do the Scratch-my-Back at the club. But nonetheless, here are the top 14 dudes on rosters running up in this MEAC tourney this week, getting all-black college on your ass to be the play-in game winner eventually against another team that sounds like a church. It's also one of the better shots for a Virginia-based college to get into the tournament, as Hampton is usually competive, and Norfolk State, who's kinda new to Division I, is pretty much like a different tentacle of the same beast that Hampton is a part of.
By the way, if black athletes dominate college basketball, why are the all-black colleges so run-of-the-mill in the NCAA tournament? You would assume they would get all the gangsta ass dudes who fall through the cracks that Bob Huggins doesn't recruit, but no. I guess also the grift rate at a small HCBU is not as G-Unitriffic as a major program would dole out. And you also have to think that white pussy is at a crazy competitve premium on an all-black college, and from my personal observations, blue chip recruits go ga-ga for white pussy. Isn't there like a whole website of pictures of NBA players with random sluts? Well, here's your top 14 returning ball-in-the-bucketers...
#1: Rashad West (Hampton guard, 93 previous MEAC tournament points) - Senior guard is their leading scorer, and since they are one of the better MEAC teams coming into the tournament, he should go buckwild. Then again, the MEAC is usually a non-white (with the exception of a couple of Euros) scrummy melee towards a solitary NCAA berth.
#2: Tony Murphy (Norfolk State guard, 90 previous points) - Another Senior, he is probably the MEAC's most likely to get all Ben Wallace but scores baskets soulful through this tournament. He is a playground shooter type, tossing 'em up like Kobe, but without all the moodiness and enunciation.
#3: Roy Bright (Delaware State forward, 68 previous points) - When a former blue-chipper who was recruited to Cincinnati ends up somewhere like Delware State, you know his thuggish ruggish to the bone. Bright was preseason player of the year for the MEAC, but also recently missed a game with a "tooth ache", which is crazy talk meaning, "fuck y'all, I'mma be me." Were I holding money to waste like retarded this week, I'd be getting me a powder blue #45 Delaware State Bright jersey
#4: Jason Willis (North Carolina A&T forward, 48 previous points) - He is a black guy with a white-sounding name who is the floor leader of a state university that is historically but not necessarily black.
#5: Jon Mason (Florida A&M guard, 47 previous points) - FAMU was the winner of the play-in game last year (or the year before, maybe... who the fuck remembers this minutiae, and if you really need to know you can google it... I work for free here), so I’m sure Jon Mason got his family to videotape that shit and dub it for him. Or maybe they have Tivo already, but call me prejudiced, but I assume if I, a white dude with a college degree in my mid-30s doesn’t have Tivo, his family probably doesn’t either. Of course, I’m partial luddite, and hate mass media bullshit, so that’s a stupid way for me to think.
#6: Tywain McKee (Coppin State guard, 47 previous points) - McKee is your average little pesky ass guard who steals and shoots and has led Coppin State on a tear this year once conference play started. I have always liked that name Coppin State more than most any other college team, because it reminds me of copperheads, and that’s the only type of poisonous snake I’ve handled in pseudo-religious ceremonies.
#7: Derrick Davis (South Carolina State guard, 47 previous points) - Although technically on the roster, Derrick Davis was dismissed from the team in December for violating unspecified team rules. Apparently a couple dudes have been dismissed from the team, and they suggest the coach is a punk ass too emotionally distant from his players, but the A.D. and coach and shit hold true to the “team rules blah blah blah” line. I guess I really shouldn’t have included Davis on the list because of all this, but I don’t feel like going back and figuring out who was 15th to move up to 14th and all that.
#8: Adrian Woodard (Hampton forward, 41 previous points) - Senior forward who plays that solid backbone type role for the team, as the old dude who’s seen it all, at least through the frame of reference of a small-time college basketball player.
#9: Steven Rush (North Carolina A&T guard, 40 previous points) - You gotta figure for a North Carolina high school superstar, Duke/UNC is the upper-tier. If they pass you over, you probably hope for the N.C. State/Wake Forest second-tier. If nothing from there, you hit the melee of whatever of the 300 colleges in the state wants you with the nicest free car. I would figure N.C. A&T, being one of a slew of former CIAA schools in this conference, is like a ‘01 Acura type team, but with $1200 rims to shine it up real nice.
#10: Ed Tyson (Maryland-Eastern Shore forward/center, 39 previous points) - He is a leading scorer in the MEAC, and what makes MD-Eastern Shore relevant at all, and also only a junior, meaning he will be way up this list next year if I remain all O.C.D. about stupid shit like this long enough to do them yearly.
#11: Leslie Robinson (Florida A&M guard, 35 previous points) - Robinson is the conscience-free shooter that Jon Mason, mentioned above, feeds.
#12: Boubacar Coly (Morgan State forward, 31 previous points) - Senior big man by small league standards, but most importantly has the best name I’ve come across. I would assume he’s from a Muslimized African nation, making rash generalizations about the name Boubacar. My favorite name for a baller all-time was Duke’s Alaa Abdelnaby, who later became DJ Khaled. And now you know the rest of the story.
#13: Corey Lyons (Norfolk State guard/forward, 30 previous points) - Tony Murphy’s second fiddle.
#14: Antwan Harrison (Coppin State forward, 28 previous points) - COPPERHEADS! He who has mad faith can handle serpents and drink poison and shit, and God protects them motherfuckers, even if the devilish and soulless are all like, “Haha, look at those hillbillies! What do they know about real life?” WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT REAL LIFE, SERPENT-SOULED CITY DWELLER?
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