RAVEN MACK is a mystic poet-philosopher-artist of the Greater Appalachian unorthodox tradition. He does have an amazing PATREON, but also *normal* ARTIST WEBSITE too.

Saturday, January 10

Ephemere Ale


AFFORDABILITY: From the Unibroue company of Canadia, so it came in a 4-pack, and probably was more than it should've been. But I'm fairly sure it was less than a 4-pack of Sammy Smith Nut Brown Ale. Therefore, 2 out of 5.
DESTROYABILITY: It is brewed with apple juice, coriander, and curacao, and is basically a fauntleroy hard cider, which means higher alcohol content, but also makes me feel like Fred Sanford’s gonna wave his hand for funny man sign language. So I only drank one to keep the rest for the ol’ lady, and it was tasty with a tingle to my belly, so I will give it the benefit of the doubt. 3 out of 5.
LABEL AESTHETIC: Fruity lettering font, plus a seductive yet classy fairy on the label - basically, it looks like an absinthe ad in the back of Spin magazine before absinthe was legal again. Interesting for a beer label, but I would feel gay for admitting I like it. 2 out of 5 (but really 4, just don’t tell no one I’m down with weird celestial fairy shit). One thing I wonder though is if a beer is bottle refermented, how can they be so scientific with their decimal point alcohol by volume calculation?
CORPORATE MASTER: The Unibroue company of Canada - which is cool I guess since that’s basically gay Alaska - but the French Canada - which is not cool because that’s basically like the lost colony of France. But I give them credit because they do the La Fin Du Monde beer that makes your head hurt like you fought a berserker, and the Maudite beer too, which looks more like a beer that King Diamond would drink than any other beer I’ve seen on this earth (granted, I haven’t seen all that much, but let’s pretend). 4 out of 5.
OVERALL AMBIANCE: The coriander was a nice touch, yet I am not a woman, although I am not afraid to play one on amateur TV, so long as nobody sticks a finger up my ass. That never feels as good as people pretend it would. Or maybe I need to relax more. Hard to say. 3 out of 5.
TOTAL RATING: 3 & 1/5 STARS!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Best beer review yet, both from an entertainment standpoint and for sounding like something I'd drink.