RAVEN MACK is a mystic poet-philosopher-artist of the Greater Appalachian unorthodox tradition. He does have an amazing PATREON, but also *normal* ARTIST WEBSITE too.

Friday, March 20

S14: NCAA Tourney 1st Rd Friday Top Returning Scorers

These fourteen dudes playing the basketballs today in the NCAA tourniquette, mostly all from major teams, have scoreded the most points in the previous three tourniquettes...
#1: Levance Fields (Pittsburg Panthers senior guard, 93 previous tourney points) - DeJuan Blair gets a lot of the gloss off this Pitt team, but Fields runs shit on the floor. #2: Sam Young (Pittsburgh Panthers senior guard) - And this guy is a hot shooter from the outside to complement Blair; really, it's a cliche, but having a pair of really good senior guards carries teams this time of year. #3: Tyrese Rice (Boston College Eagles senior guard, 76 previous tourney points) - Richmond, Virginia's, own gangstariffic b-ball scoring threat; I anxiously await him getting caught with weed on I-95 once he's in the NBA. #4: Sherron Collins (Kansas Jayhawks junior guard, 75 previous tourney points) - Highly overrated Kansas asshole, and you should never trust black dudes who end up going to play for Kansas, because I remember Menace II Society. #5: Earl Clark (Louisville Cardinals junior forward, 72 previous tourney points) - Rick Pitino has brought back quite the collection of thugonomic majors for what's probably his best shot at a national title since back when he had that Kentucky team with basically two five-man rotations of starters that he alternated using. #6: Edgar Sosa (Louisville Cardinals junior guard, 71 previous tourney points) - Matters not to me if he's from Puerto Rico or not because when I see him balling, Frankie Cutlass classics start echoing through my head, but all muffled like they're coming from inside a cinderblock building I'm walking past. #7: Wayne Chism (Tennessee Volunteers junior center, 70 previous tourney points) - Chism's style of wearing a headband all yamulke style is pretty damned pimp, but probably only because it goes well with Volunteer orange; if he played in red uniform or some weak ass dark blue, it'd look stupid, although maybe purple would look tight too; it's really a shame they don't let teams both wear dark jerseys because Tennessee/LSU games would be an aesthetic pleasure. #8: Jerry Smith (Louisville Cardinals junior guard, 70 previous tourney points) - I've never even heard of this guy. #9: Dominic James (Marquette Golden Eagles senior guard, 62 previous tourney points) - But won't be playing this year, as he broked his foot; still, he'll get to wear a suit at the end of the bench with class, doing his best Gilbert Arenas impersonation. #10: Derrick Brown (Xavier Muskateers junior forward, 61 previous tourney points) - My brain works like so - Muskateer turns into Muscatel, which makes me think of winos, which makes me imagine a pack of well-trained and groomed hoboes playing college basketball as part of a $1 bet by those two old white guy who switched Dan Akroyd with Eddie Murphy. #11: Taj Gibson (USC Trojans junior forward, 59 previous tourney points) - Saw O.J. Mayo come and go through Los Angeles, and now the media glare's not so bright this year; but Taj holds his own. #12: Jerel McNeal (Marquette Golden Eagles senior guard, 60 previous tourney points) - Must shoulder a heavy load with James gone from the active roster for the tourney, making Marquette one of the most likely early exits, considering they were a Top 10 team for half the year. #13: Raymar Morgan (Michigan State Spartans junior forward, 59 previous tourney points) - Tom Izzo's best hope to lead him to another big bonus for his already ridiculous college coaching contract. #14: Terence Williams (Louisville Cardinals senior forward, 59 previous tourney points) - Seems like he's been playing forever.

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