RAVEN MACK is a mystic poet-philosopher-artist of the Greater Appalachian unorthodox tradition. He does have an amazing PATREON, but also *normal* ARTIST WEBSITE too.

Wednesday, March 3

S14: Top 14 Scorers From Last Four Missouri Valley Conference Tournaments

They call the Missouri Valley Conference basketball tournament Arch Madness, and it's a midwestern shootout between a bunch of mid-major programs that wax and wane at the edge of basketball notoriety. It was only a few years back that the MVC put five at-large teams into the field of 65 along with the conference champion. They probably won't get that many this year, but in recent history, this is as good a "mid-major" conference as you'll find. Here are the fourteen dudes who scored the most points the past four Arch Madnesses...
#1: Osiris Eldridge (Illinois State guard; 114 points in MVC tourneys '07-'09) - Still in college; will speak upon him tomorrow.
#2: Jamaal Tatum (Southern Illinois guard; 113 points in MVC tourneys '06 and '07) - I remember a couple years back when Southern Illinois made some March Madness noise and made the Sweet 16, and this dreadlocked crazy guy was the strongest spark behind it all. For the most part after that, he stayed in America, being drafted by both the Atlanta Crunk (of the CBA) and the Idaho Stampede (of the NBA D-League), played for the Atlanta Hawks in the preseason, the San Antonio Spurs summer league team, and actually even having a brief stint with the Portland Trailblazers. This past year, he finally ended up overseas, playing for a French team the first part of the season, but now in Latvia on BK Ventspils. Dreadlocked young black dudes in Latvia... now that's a reality show waiting to happen. Or a porn.
#3: Matt Shaw (Southern Illinois forward; 98 points in MVC tourneys '06-'08) - Also a part of those strong Southern Illinois teams, yet is still playing in college. He transferred to UNLV in 2008, tore his ACL that summer, finally fought back from injury this year to regain a starting position, but then sprained an ankle, and still is only considered a junior by NCAA eligibility standards.
#4: Jonathan Cox (Drake forward; 93 points in MVC tourneys '06-'09) - Followed a solid four-year career at a noteworthy mid-major school by going back to the Motherland, starting for the Duesseldorf Giants in Germany.
#5: Jay Tunnell (Indiana State forward/center; 87 points in MVC tourneys '06-09) - Jay went out like a straight up whiteboy from Indiana, with a ballyhooed prep career, solid four years at a Division I college, and then he's done with it, except for ruling motherfuckers in the local rec league.
#6: Josh Young (Drake guard; 74 points in MVC tourneys '07-'09) - Still in college.
#7: Shyron Ely (Evansville guard/forward; 70 points in MVC tourneys '06-'09) - From a basketball family, Shyron kicks it in the D-League with the Iowa Energy right now. His older sister played for the WNBA San Antonio team, which I guess the feminine of a Spur is a High Heel.
#8: Jason Holsinger (Evansville guard; 70 points in MVC tourneys '06-'08) - When a dude is on the conference All-Scholar Athlete team three years in a row, and the Scholar Athlete of the Year his senior year, he usually doesn't end up playing for thirteen different Euroleague teams. He gets on with his life.
#9: Deven Mitchell (Missouri State forward; 69 points in MVC tourneys '07 and '08) - Since finishing his time at Missouri State, this light-skinned, tattooed, mid-court menace has started for the Arkadia Traiskirchen Lions in Austria, and now for the Gaz Metan Medias in Romania. He is kicking the serious Euroleague styles, in rarified countries, keeping it mid-major for life.
#10: Nathan Funk (Creighton guard; 66 points in MVC tourney '07) - Man, Nathan Funk is one ugly ass white dude. After a year in Germany, he's been settled the past two season in the Turkish League, starting for Erdemirspor Belediyesi. I'm sure in Turkey, ugly white boys are the new black.
#11: Klayton Korver (Drake forward; 66 points in MVC tourneys '07 and '08) - Part of an MVC basketball family, that's seen him and his brothers on different teams in the region. (His big bro Kyle, who played in the MVC, is in the NBA with the Utah Jazz.) Klayton played in a single summer league after finishing school in 2008, and now is in the real world. I don't trust dudes with first and last names that start with K because I have to assume their parents are some sort of Yahoo News of the Weird-worthy racists who gave all their kids KKK initials.
#12: Gabriel Moore (Indiana State guard; 66 points in MVC tourneys '06-'08) - A perfect example of the dream dying hard, as the only place he could land post-NCAA was Germany, where he's started, but dropped down in league statuses. That's what the NBA needs, is a more prominent lower league, or even three leagues total with like 20 teams in the Super NBA, and then like 30 more in the B-League, and then 50 in a clusterfuck of a D-League where pretty much anybody with a 1995 rapper's cash advance off a record contract could own and operate a team.
#13: Adam Koch (Northern Iowa forward; 65 points in MVC tourneys '08 and '09) - Still in college.
#14: Kwadzo Ahelegbe (Northern Iowa guard; 60 points in MVC tourneys '07 and '09) - Still in college.

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