25-Man Metaphysical Roster: Liverpool F.C.

[Klopp is beautifully insane]

[25-Man Metaphysical Roster is a football dork methodology meant to establish a listing of players who have been most active for English Premier League teams in their past 100 non-friendly matches. Essentially, it is calculated by minutes played, but weighted towards most recent games. The end result is a listing of the 25 players in a team’s recent history who have had the largest hand on their metaphysical sporting trajectory. The English Premier League was chosen because it is the highest level of football played in an English speaking country, and I speak English. Also, it is what comes on TV here in the USA, where I fucking live. And yet still I should clarify I hate English, and also America. Thus maybe I hate myself. Should I not fail in maintaining my unpaid deadline, a new 25-Man Metaphysical Roster will appear on the 1st and 15th of every month.]

Again, catching up, and it’s crazy to look at this list now a few months later because I am firmly aboard the Mo Salah train. AND HE WASN’T EVEN ON THEIR METAPHYSICS MIDDLE OF OCTOBER! That’s how quickly metaphysics shifts and a club can knock on the door of Champions League famousry. Again no blurbs because I snuck this in 1984 style months later. FAKE SPORTS!

#1: Roberto Firmino

#2: Simon Mignolet

#3: Emre Can

#4: Georginio Wijnaldum

#5: James Milner

#6: Dejan Lovren

#7: Nathaniel Clyne

#8: Joel Matip

#9: Jordan Henderson

#10: Philippe Coutinho

#11: Sadio Mane (previously #21 for Southampton on 1-Aug-2017)

#12: Adam Lallana

#13: Alberto Moreno

#14: Divock Origi

#15: Ragnar Klavan

#16: Lucas Leiva

#17: Daniel Sturridge

#18: Loris Karius

#19: Mohamed Salah

#20: Trent Alexander-Arnold

#21: Joe Gomez

#22: Kevin Stewart

#23: Mamadou Sakho

#24: Kolo Toure

#25: Ben Woodburn