Lucha ring girls and reggaetone - it's like a Reese's peanut butter cup that puts blood in my dick. I am not too terribly excited about this match, but I will watch it because of Ultimo and Blue Panther, to see what they do. I enjoy Pierroth, but not in an I-have-to-see-every-match type of way; more of like go see him at the state fair type of way, because you know he's gonna work hard for the ham-n-egger crowd (or huevos-y-chorizo crowd, whatever the case may be). You know, I really love lucha ring girl asses, and one of the major drawbacks of internet abundance of naked sluts is everything's already naked with like nine guys standing around taking turns jacking off in the girl's face. The world needs more conceptual porn, where girls may have their fine asses covered like lucha girls the whole time. Have we no imagination to excite us anymore? Or like a wholefoodswhores.com site, because you see mad hot women up in a Whole Foods while spending $78 on one little brown bag of groceries. I guess being affluent enough to buy fake turkey and organic butter allows you the time to do yourself up nice as well, sometimes. Plus, the whole young Hip Mama punk/hippie tattooed sexy type that you see there, too, your wholefoodwhores.com site could just be young hot chicks like that who can't afford the bulk organic couscous or blue corn tortillas, so they have to do sexy things to get it. So dehumanizing (like most all porn), yet so high-concept (like such little porn). This is clipped, of course, but I get to see Blue Panther get all freaky for a second on Mascara Ano Dos Mil, and it makes me - the wrestling nerd who lacks the desire nor the finances to accumulate one of those ridiculously large collections that people are always trying to sell you dubs from - long for something wonderful to unearth in the boxes of now-useless tapes that I've never watched, like an M-Pro masked league tourney from the mid-'90s with Blue Panther featured abundantly. I'd love to see him in long-winded retarded-lucha-contortion international wrestling singles matches. Lucha chaos, and Ultimo enters the ring four about four seconds before he backslides Dantes for a pinfall, and then Lizmark Jr. bombs Pierroth into a pin to seal the first fall. CLIPPED TEASES OF GREATNESS, and lengthy segments of Lizmark, who I care the least about.
Well, the second fall is clipped down to nothing but rudos pinning the tecnico non-capitans, so I will naively be optimistic and assume the final fall is RIDICULOUSLY THE BEST THING EVER AND TWENTY MINUTES LONG! But it doesn't shape up that way. Pierroth does take some nice leather strap whippings across his jawbone and forehead from Lizmark Jr., and I also get a little taste of sweet Ultimo Dragon vs. Pierroth one-on-one action, but this is lucha, so Pierroth gets kicked through the ropes and it quickly turns into Apolo Dantes vs. Lizmark Jr. before I can even fully enjoy what I was internally pre-amping myself to get stoked for. But then, everybody planchas topes outside-the-rings themselves, with only Ultimo and Pierroth left, and Pierroth's militia boriqua on the set grabs Ultimo, but there is no hair so he slips loose and Pierroth kicks her in the cooch, then gets reverse jumping neckbreakered (which probably has a real nice-flowing foreign name, but I don't know it; forgive my terminology ignorance) and Ultimo wins. Not often I remember seeing non-captains pin captains to win a match on CMLL, but it's also not often I see Ultimo on here. I'll probably sit through like seventeen matches with teams captained by Gran Markus and Alan Stone to get to another one.
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