got given a tasbih which I carry in my pocket
so when I reach for keys cash whatever
I feel the 33 beads and think
about remaining present
not lost in all the manufactured failures that are
made to fail
much like me myself, channeled into doubt and
loathing
and hatred of what I am at my essence
so that I try to mask it with purchased identities
consumed quirks, bedazzling my soul with
manufactured shine
thinking the neon OPEN sign is my aura, thinking
the halogen glow is angelic glisten
listening to the buzzbots mainstream my
consciousness
channel me into the desired paths
which leave me lost, more lost than ever
but no different than any other time
I am no convert, just some human who attempts to
ground theyself
five times a day with 33 la ilaha illallahs
because it makes sense
and gives me practice
the beads in my pocket remind me
I can always do more
very easily, and not be left behind
not feel so lost all the time
even if I still am
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