25-Man Metaphysical Roster: Manchester City F.C.

[25-Man Metaphysical Roster is a football dork methodology meant to establish a listing of players who have been most active for English Premier League teams in their past 100 non-friendly matches. Essentially, it is calculated by minutes played, but weighted towards most recent games. The end result is a listing of the 25 players in a team’s recent history who have had the largest hand on their metaphysical sporting trajectory. The English Premier League was chosen because it is the highest level of football played in an English speaking country, and I speak English. Also, it is what comes on TV here in the USA, where I fucking live. And yet still I should clarify I hate English, and also America. Thus maybe I hate myself. Should I not fail in maintaining my unpaid deadline, a new 25-Man Metaphysical Roster will appear on the 1st and 15th of every month.]

WORKING THROUGH A MISSED YEAR BECAUSE WE RE-LAUNCHING THIS BITCH ON JUNE 1ST, 2019!!! This would’ve been Manchester City’s listing which would’ve run on November 1, 2018.

#1: FERNANDINHO (up from #3 last time Manchester City was metaphysically ranked on 15-Nov-2017; also HIS FIRST METAPHYSICAL STAR)

#2: EDERSON (up from #16 last time)

#3: RAHEEM STERLING (up from #6 last time)

#4: KYLE WALKER (up from #21 last time; also previously ranked #24 for Tottenham Hotspur on 15-Oct-2018)

#5: NICOLAS OTAMENDI (down from #1 last time)

#6: DAVID SILVA (down from #4 last time)

#7: LEROY SANE (up from #8 last time)

#8: KEVIN DE BRUYNE (down from #2 last time)

#9: SERGIO AGUERO (down from #5 last time)

#10: BERNARDO SILVA (up from #24 last time)

#11: ILKAY GUNDOGAN (up from #22 last time)

#12: JOHN STONES (down from #7 last time)

#13: GABRIEL JESUS (same as last time)

#14: AYMERIC LAPORTE

#15: VINCENT KOMPANY (up from #20 last time)

#16: FABIAN DELPH (up from #19 last time)

#17: DANILO

#18: CLAUDIO BRAVO (down from #12 last time)

#19: BENJAMIN MENDY

#20: OLEKSANDR ZINCHENKO

#21: YAYA TOURE (down from #10 last time)

#22: RIYAD MAHREZ (previously ranked #4 for Leicester City on 15-Feb-2018)

#23: ELIAQUIM MANGALA

#24: PHIL FODEN

#25: GAEL CLICHY (down from #9 last time)