Jackie Chain is a great thing that exists – a longhaired weedhead Asian rapper from Alabama who pretty much raps about nothing other than banging chicks, getting high, and having diamonds. He also looks like my buddy Partin from RPG.
This is a recombobulation of that stupid fucking Manfred Mann song that you can still hear on classic rock radio every third hour to this day. That song sucks, and is mostly known as the song where it sounds like the dude says “wrapped up like a douche in the middle of the night.” Jackie Chain takes it, owns it, and makes it something far less annoying for truck rides back and forth to work. I imagine Jackie Chain is probably pretty good at shooting pool, but not obnoxious about it. Like he plays up or down to his competition, and could have a nice rousing game of partners where each side has one chick, but if some dude got all pool table alpha male trying to flex his gamesmanship muscles, Jackie Chain could play a serious game of 9-ball and fuck that dude up, and then go right back to shooting pool with chicks and barely winning. That is the ability to get along well with others, yet show and prove when necessary, but only when necessary. This is probably because he has magical Chinaman blood inside of him, the effects of which are further enhanced by heavy weed smoking.
Did you know most weed you buy nowadays is mad sprayed with pesticides and chemical enhancers? It’s not a common meme out there, but when possible you should really buy local and organic weed. Know your grower, which can be tough because growers are natural paranoids not wanting to get to know a lot of strange ass people. Still though, if you smoke a lot of weed, you owe it to your long-term health to do just that.
STEAL “Blinded By The Light”
NEXT UP: Another catchy ass Hayes Carll song!
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