JJ Krupert Jan 2018 number six "i found a man in my bed"

the last haiku event I did in Richmond was a horrible failure because the gallery – which already had felt questionable because they shut down the zine library that had been housed there – double-booked haiku event with some shitty indy rock show (sorry indy rockers) so we had to move upstairs after yoga was over, and it was noisy and stupid and I really wanted to punch people. also we had to wait outside for like an hour for yoga to end, and really I should’ve just cancelled it but I had a couple people coming who love the events and I love those people so I didn’t. but it felt like a horrible fucking mistake.

there was an older african-american dude panhandling out front, and though I had no money, I got bored standing around with the well-to-do struggle professional class which usually attend haiku events (no diss) so started chatting the dude up. turns out he’d been out of prison for a little while after shooting a dude in the ass when he caught him fucking his ol’ lady. also turns out he was from 10 miles way out in the country where I live, not Richmond, and he knew about how good brown’s country store’s fried chicken used to be, and a guy I used to work with and get high and drunk with in the warehouse was actually his cousin. “he loves them white girls, don’t he?” lol, yes he did.

anyways, now every time I hear this Roy C song about whether you’d shoot a dude you caught in the bed with your ol’ lady or not, I think of that guy out on the street at that shitty haiku event, and wonder what kind of haiku that dude would’ve wrote? and how come I’m not doing haiku events with people like that? or at all?

also if you know of a place to do haiku events, hit me up. gonna re-write the manual/introduction at some point while fucking off at work or home in the next few weeks, but if you already know, you already know. and if you don’t, just find 8 people, tell them to write some haiku, and have me show up and babble at you. give me a couch to sleep on too please, if it’s too far away from home. or if I just wanna hang out and meet some new people. that’s actually the whole point of those things – for people to meet each other and act a fool together. not nearly enough acting a fool goes on nowadays, the simple type of acting a fool where you’d know if you stepped into serious foolishness, like sleeping with somebody’s partner in shady ways, you might get shot. people assume they can suck and not catch repercussions too much, because the repercussions are wrong. right and wrong has very little to do with what you do with most of your day.

so yes, I would’ve shot that man, Roy C, now that you ask, except I don’t keep guns, so I would’ve stabbed him instead, which would’ve been a lot messier and less chance of fatality too.