RAVEN MACK is a mystic poet-philosopher-artist of the Greater Appalachian unorthodox tradition. He does have an amazing PATREON, but also *normal* ARTIST WEBSITE too.

Wednesday, May 9

Dos Equis Amber

I forgot to buy myself more cheap beer, so I had to drink up random leftovers my wife had laying around the refrigerator instead.
AFFORDABILITY: When you get to that section of the supermarket that has bottles of beers that are cheap American beers in bottles, Dos Equis is one of the lower end six-packs, cost-wise. 3 out of 5.

DESTROYABILITY: I've worked with enough Mexicans to know that they're not really lazy in real life and you can't, in fact, starve them to death by hiding their food stamps underneath their work boots, but I do like to use that old Mexican stereotype of laziness in regards to Mexican beers, because it seems you can drink like 37 of them and barely catch a buzz, especially when it's warm. 1 out of 5.
LABEL AESTHETIC: Montezuma with psychedelic background is nice, but the shades of gold label mutes down it's greatness. 3 out of 5.
CORPORATE MASTER: Made by some brown-skin place, and imported by Mexican Beers (though they used the roto-toto language version on the label) of White Plains, NY. It's sort of amusing that somewhere in White Plains, NY, would be importing Mexican beer. I would've imagined somewhere in Texas, or there be Puerto Rico Day Parade riots over Dos Equis being imported and not whatever Sorta Ricans drink being imported. Are there famous Puerto Rican beers? Or do they all just drink rum and stab people with boxcutters? 5 out of 5.
OVERALL AMBIANCE: Mexican beers remind me of Mexican restaurants, and Mexican restaurants remind of taking white girls out to dinner, and taking white girls out to dinner reminds me of trying to get white pussy, and trying to get white pussy reminds me of how stupid and homosexual having a blog is (although, I guess if I was gay, I couldn't concentrate on getting dick either if I had a stupid blog), but I'm gonna forget how stupid having a blog is and focus on the white pussy part of my stream of consciousness. 4 out of 5.
TOTAL RATING: 3 & 1/5 stars!

No comments: