SONG OF THE DAY: Dirty Work

What an amazingly catchy fuckin’ song. This shit is beyond ear worm; like it bores down into your soul and you’re just walking to go put the clean clothes from the washer into the dryer and this shit starts singing from deep inside of you, and there’s nothing you can do but sing it. It’s annoying. MK-Ultra ass bullshit.

F34RS 0F TH1S W0RLD PR0DVC1NG...

fears of this world producing 
more problems than solutions 
forget it’s beyond our grasp 

SONG OF THE DAY: Fool's Paradise (kudzu'd)

I was thinking today how weird it is we have pocket computers, and we look up information, but before we can find the information there’s tricks designed to get us to waste money, and we have to move past the tricks (which are everywhere) to try and find the information we’re looking for. But also by the time we find it, or after we find it, there’s multiple gamified options at our lit-up fingertips that may or may not cause our brain to release dopamine, so we go do those things, at least temporarily. All of this is complete physiological neurology, hardly anything psychological or in our control about all of it. Sure, we learn to control how much we let these neurological urges distract us from what we were hoping to be doing, but it’s living in an environment full of these little tricks, scattered entirely through our existence, which test our human abilities. Like we learn to deny ourselves our natural impulse. It’s all so fucked up. We built a completely warped dystopia, but we act like it’s all still down the road if we’re not careful. Lol, we done did it. We’re living in it.

SONG OF THE DAY: Word Up

The words don’t come up sometimes, like I sit here and think, “Just write some stupid shit,” which normally is pretty easy for a heart that has a steady flow of shit talk like mine. But I just ain’t into it half the time lately. Everything feels boring, mundane, and yet weird and dystopian. How can a dystopia be mundane? That doesn’t even make sense, and yet here we are, bored as fuck and waiting for doom at the same damn time. I should probably shift into hibernation mode, and read more, because mostly all I read is the words that are printed like ticker tape of conscious thought inside my mind constantly. I guess that’s still in there, but I’ve blurred it out, because I’m tired of looking at it. Tired of everything, yet can’t sleep half the time. The mundane dystopia, just occupying the boxes on a calendar, flipping the pages without actually doing anything all that notable.

SONG OF THE DAY: Graffiti Blues (45s on 33)

COVID in the house, and astroturfed organized chaos in the Capitol. Had to ride to the store to do a contactless pick-up at the Food Lion yesterday, same one where patriotic beards walk freely without masks every time I go in there, angrily staring at anyone who dare not be just like them. There’s only like two things the kids want to eat right now, so I’m keeping it stocked, and even though I’m negative so far, I’m likely exposed, and would prefer not to fuck anybody around me’s life up if I can avoid it. My girlfriend texted me, “Have you heard the news?” so I put on the radio, and bits and pieces of what was going on in D.C. came through. I wasn’t shocked, I think anybody who’s been paying attention knew this was coming, eventually. It’s still unsettling, because all of us got fed that American meritocracy shit growing up. Hell, that’s even what empty suit ass Joe Biden said, “this is not who we are.” Please, where the fuck are you living? Where I live, this is exactly who the fuck people have been, more and more so the past few years. Reaching across any aisles and finding common ground does not take hold as fast as propaganda mechanisms do, nor work as efficiently. People’s grandmas were all telling them antifa did the Capitol raid last night, because people’s grandmas aren’t getting their news from talking to real life people, or a local newscast.
It was all deeply dystopian, having left my sick with corona kids at home to run to the grocery store to pick up foods and drinks to keep them hydrated and fed while they ride this out, also hoping I could somehow magically and meticulously avoid getting exposed myself. Motherfuckers talking about “patriots” and a civil war, and seeing an Amanda Chase sign on the back road way home. People’s brains have been broken, and unfortunately when you severely break things – as they’ve been done in the past decade – you don’t put it all back together that quickly. Usually it takes longer to repair than it did to break, and it’s not as whole as it was beforehand either. So if we’ve had five years of rapid radicalization, we’re gonna need a decade of detox and healing. But the people who think they’re patriots don’t want none of that. So I don’t know what the fuck we do. All I’m gonna do on a personal level is keep building like I’ve been building, taking care of my family first, and my community after that as much as possible, and sowing good shit wherever I can. I can’t help all the bad shit.

TH3 3NV3L0P1NG D4RKN3SS...

 

the enveloping darkness

is not the entire picture;

fear's developed by design

SONG OF THE DAY: Northampton's Child

Haven’t been writing as much good quality nonsense gibberish lately because, well, these are strange and terrible times and I have been overcome with dark thoughts of doom. Not fun doom, like walking along train tracks in the moonlight and scribbling barely clever phrases in oil bar, but boring doom, like falling asleep on your secondhand ikea futon in a basement apartment while halfway paying attention to Justified, because you felt like streaming something for a few days, to feel some sense of accomplishment, and you figured fuck it, you’d try this bullshit rural noir show again. I mean how strange and terrible a time is that? I’m willingly watching Justified, and pretending it’s not crap. You know how much of my actual life experience I have to suspend to engage in even that much tolerance? And it’s all so predictable.

This is what I hate about this current era of doom, this technological dystopia we currently find ourselves in, with fascism openly taking the reins of all institutions to usher in a bold new era of Freedom™ brand freedom where you either pull out that MasterCard debit for liberty at the most free chain stores possible, or you can fuck right off… It’s all just so boring, and there’s no torchlit wrestling fights to the death with Ox Baker or giant cockroaches or really great modified late model cars that shoot fireworks everywhere. It’s just laying around on secondhand futons streaming dumb shit waiting to get evicted from your job and rented home by debt collectors eventually as the pyramid scam cuts you off too, and then live underneath a tarp by the creek hoping all you panhandle is dollar bills and not death.

I am trying to channel my mundane doomed feelings into body improvements though. I pulled out the old stick and poke rig to put BORN TOO LOOSE on my leg last night. It’s the little victories that help us survive these dark times.

SONG OF THE DAY: Everybody's Hero

World geopolitics got me feeling stressed, but also not really. The constant immediacy of the impending end in the age of the internet causes metaphysical adrenal fatigue eventually. But what’s certain is it seems in many places around the world, the assholes are determined to keep their power by pointing at some other assholes and getting all the people worked up about how they should be afraid of those other assholes. And you can’t get at these assholes, to shut them down the old-fashioned way. Like both in the United States and Iran, right wing assholes who want to blow shit up are using each other to rally people to let them blow shit up. It’s bizarre – it’s like a funhouse mirror of two dogmatic hypocritical bomb-happy cartel of shitheads looking at each other, pretending they’re entirely different. And it’s not like poor people will unify and rise up to overthrow all these oppressors globally because lolol poor people are fucking poor. They’re trying to keep their head above metaphorical economic water if they’re middle class (which is actually generally speaking not middle class, but that whole scale is warped by the extreme upper class anyways), or they’re literally just trying to fucking eat and survive the week if they’re for real poor. How the fuck do you organize that shit? You got a bunch of people out here barely holding their shit together? Some random spark organizes those situations, full of human tinder built from frustration and lack. Anyways, fuck the news, fuck presidents, fuck supreme leaders, fuck senators, fuck candidates, fuck mythologies of the exceptional character of any individual nation-state, whether here or there. Fuck it all. (Which is not a nihilistic “fuck it all” but one that is full of hopes and wishes that humans weren’t so horribly flawed at such grandiose levels all the time.)