J.J. Krupert Top 13 Countdown – November ’10 #2: “Andre’s Thang” by Andre Williams

I have to dress biz caz for my working routines, and hate that, but try to mix it up with some ugly combos of polo shirts or the type of thrift store dress shirts that were obviously worn by older black men at some point. It’s really the only way I can inject nonsense into my wardrobe at this point. Apparently I bought a magic shirt of some sort – lavender but kind of shiny yet still cotton, very very urban storefront churchy. Anyways, something has happened since I’ve started wearing this shirt in the past two months to where I can’t distinguish the difference between a lot of white people we’ve been meeting lately. They all seem to look the same to me, with the same Mike and Laurie and Todd and Anne names. Seriously, my wife will be like, “I’m going over to Mike and Anne’s,” and I’m like, “Who?” and she describes them in detail and how we met them, and I vaguely remember pot lucks with a giant slew of people who have all blurred together into the same man and woman. This has also helped me understand why black families were more creative with their naming of children, perhaps adding a consonant and apostrophe in front of a name, or combining the parents names, or just making up some bullshit. It is an easy way to distinguish the faces. I am thankful that the rest of society seems to be catching up to this trend, though white people who do this are still using up wacky words that aren’t usually names like Indian tribes or trees, and have yet to get to the whole completely making up new things phase of naming their children. This type of labeling of humans makes it much easier to distinguish them from each other, instead of them all being named Laurie and Paul.
Also, Andre Williams is fucking awesome. I like to imagine my magic shirt was originally his.
STEAL “Andre’s Thang”
NEXT UP: A modern drug lament sad country-ish song!

(7s) Longest Serving U.S. Representatives #4 - Representative Charles Bernard Rangel (Democratic Deacon of New York’s 15th District)

Rangel’s been in Congress since January 3, 1971, when it ws the 18th District, then got shifted to the 19th in ‘73, then the 16th in ‘83, then to the present 15th District in ‘93. It currently covers about 10 square miles (the smallest geographical district in Congress) of upper Manhattan (including the Harlems, both negro and Spanish) and Rikers Island and an industrial chunk of Queens. Rangel is actually currently catching some flack for tax cheating bullshit or something, which all them dudes do, so I’m not sure what he’s done to piss off the insiders club to have them publicly reprimand him like this. I’ve often thought of Rangel and Al Sharpton as the same human embryotic cell structure that was separated, and you trained one in actually sleeping with the white men and learning their secret handshakes and forked tongue trickeries (that’d be Rangel) and the other you trained in drinking gin in church basements and hanging out with R&B singers at tha club (that’d be Sharpton), and someone is studying the differences. Personally, I’d take a government full of Al Sharptons, so long as it was a culturally diverse group of Sharptons, so that you had wacky hillbillies and moonshine crazies and Vietnam vet Indians from South Dakota not to mention brown pride dudes galore from Mazatlan maybe even including Oscar Zeta Acosta himself if he hadn’t have been killed running drugs in Mexico.
Personally, I find Charles Rangel a creepy looking cat, and I imagine he smells like cologne mixed with hospital disinfectant with a touch of cigar smoke pilfering all his suits even though he hasn’t smoked in decades. I bet Al Sharpton smells like gin. (Ha, that was a trick statement... gin has no smell. That’s why it’s America’s favorite illicit workplace beverage.)