SONG OF THE DAY: Peg (kudzu'd)

lol "peg". The Doobie Brothers were wild.

Park Bench Review: 40° 44' 7.8792", -73° 59' 27.2904"

This is an official dirtgod park bench review. I did this a few years back, but only did one park bench in Charlottesville (which was pretty loungin’). I realized a man shouldn’t have LOUNGIN’ tattooed on his belly if he’s not dedicating his life at least partially to cultivating the pursuit of lounge So we’re going back to this. Above in title are the latitude/longitude coordinates. I choose to use the stars for navigation though.

IMMEDIATE LOUNGE-ABILITY: Spent a few days in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, NYC, last week, with my ol’ lady, and we are the types who do a lot of walking, a lot of vibing, and very little Official Sight Seeing. We both tend to prefer the randomized sights of chance wandering to Must See Destinations. Though we did purposefully begin our wander this one day (can’t even remember which day) going over to Freeman Alley. From there we ended up going roughly northwest up Bowery eventually getting on Broadway, for further escapades higher. I think my girlfriend went to get a fancy cup of coffee or something, I can’t really remember why we separated this particular time, but I lounged in Union Square Park, behind the George Washington Statue, with my back to all the damn dogs in the dog run. As we walked into the park, a dude in bright orange outfit was shadowboxing with pigeons, and moving with the smooth erratic style of a guy with mystical musics inside his mind at all times. The tinges of oppression of city dog-havers behind my back was slight affect on this one, but mystical pigeon shadowboxing plus standard city park people chillin’ while getting casually blunted held the score up. Immediate Lounge-ability was a 18 (out of 23 possible).

RIPPLES OF AMBIANCE: I’m just a simple country boy from Schuyler, Virginia, so all the bustle and hustle and grind and nevermind of the city, seemingly, is a lot. But in actuality, a lot of city types who lounge in public are pretty much the same cut of cloth as country loungers sitting in their yard. Don’t get me wrong; there are hella worried ass city dwellers nosey about who that stranger might be walking past too slowly, just as there are country folks peeking through the curtains worried about them brown people that moved down the road a half mile away. There was plenty of chill going on. Plus the Farmer’s Market was happening, and the stuff there was remarkably good looking and affordable. Like, lolol, how the fuck is a farmer’s market in the middle of New York City cheaper than the shit in Charlottesville? I didn’t see all that until my ol’ lady came back to me and we left the park heading further upwards, but the ripples of ambiance don’t follow chronological linear thought. I guess at one point my oldest kid had dreamed about doing grad school at The New School, and I saw a building for it right there. There was honking, and reggaeton sneaking out of bluetooths, and general beautiful chaos. But also there was still snow on the ground. Ripples of Ambiance was a 16 (out of 23 possible).

CULTURE OF BENCH: One could not possibly quantify the culture of bench in a place like this. I would imagine the actual physical bench I sat upon hadn’t been there forever, but surely, it’d been in that spot for years. But beyond that, people had sat in this park for over a century, through waves of economic revitalization and decline, nearby mansions converted to tenements then back to expensive townhouses. Lords of industry chilled in this park, as did broke ass immigrants who never once had an English thought. So many people skipping out of work on a pretty day, or meeting a romantic interest for a cheap date. One thing I really love is old spaces that are not redone entirely, but slowly absorb the sediments of time, so that the human energy that has been expended there soaks into the environment as well. In America, we are way too apt to tear shit down and rebuilt something new, which is disrespectful to all that came before us. Sitting in a place in the middle of Manhattan like that, your mind can really wander with the depths and varieties of humanity that had scattered thoughts in that same spot. Culture of Bench was a 23 (out of 23 possible).

IMMEDIATE LOUNGE-ABILITY: 18

RIPPLES OF AMBIANCE: 16

CULTURE OF BENCH: 23

TOTAL SCORE: 57 (out of possible 69). Well, this is technically only the second time I’ve gone through a full official park bench review write-up, so that’s the new high watermark. I hope to go sit there again someday.

G0DS 0F 34RTHLY D1RT H4V3...

gods of the earthly dirt have 
obvious limitations, 
being bound to their bodies 

SONG OF THE DAY: I Won't Love You Again (kudzu'd)

The horns at the beginning of this one are crazy. Like, almost too much, but then it levels out right before you're about to have your head explode from the ancient brown-eyed soul electromagnetic frequencies. And somehow they've just mystically channeled your ass into perfect mental position to enjoy the song. That's a next level of creating music that I've never come close to before. I respect it deeply.

SONG OF THE DAY: Cosmic Blast (kudzu'd)

Not nearly enough people rap about outer space anymore. That's like the other end of lack of empathy, because just as folks can't seem to recognize other humans deserve basic shit like food and shelter, we also can't seem to accept how infinitely giant the Universe is, and how we're just barely a quarter fleck of a grain of a sand within that. You can't brag about cosmic swagger unless you consciously accept your limitations as being human. Shout out to the real MCs, envisioning distant galaxies instead of becoming living fallacies.

SONG OF THE DAY: I Wasn't Made For These Times

Did you know that Jimmy Buffett used to be in a band with Charles Manson? Small world. They reportedly wrote this song together while working as extras in Werner Herzog’s Aguirre, the Wrath of God.

SONG OF THE DAY: Ring My Bell (screwed & chopped)

Love too hear Screw just get dialed in and work a classic groove all the way down to the bone gristle. All the old grey tapes are at the Internet Archive, and you ought to put them on an external hard drive. Don’t count on the internet to have shit forever. Forever ain’t ever happening with anything manmade, so get it while you can.

SONG OF THE DAY: Piece of Your Action

By the time they released Shout at the Devil, Motley Crue had mastered the faux Satanic imagery that made them metal famous, before they flipped the color scheme to be MTV famous on their next record. But nothing they ever did comes close to the raw power of Too Fast For Love. They made the perfect album for wrecking your car into a guardrail on a Wednesday night.

SONG OF THE DAY: Brass Monkey

“Brass monkey” allegedly came from the colloquialism (that means “shit that old people said”), “Cold enough to freeze a brass monkey’s balls off.” An enterprising person submitted the following in their filing for a patent for a “brass monkey” in January 1987:
SUMMARY OF THE INVENTION
The present invention is directed to a release mechanism for releasing an object when the temperature reaches a predetermined release temperature. The release mechanism may be incorporated into a novelty "brass monkey" to "emasculate" the monkey when exposed to a predetermined temperature.
The release mechanism of the invention comprises means defining a passageway for movement of an object to be released and temperature responsive means at least partially obstructing the passageway to prevent movement of the object along the passageway before the temperature of the temperature responsive means reaches a predetermined release temperature. The temperature responsive means moves to open the passageway to allow movement of the object along the passageway when the temperature of the temperature responsive means reaches the predetermined release temperature. In a disclosed, preferred form of the invention the temperature responsive means is a bimetallic strip which is fixedly supported at one end with the opposite free end of the bimetallic strip being positioned for movement toward and away from the passageway for at least partially obstructing the passageway to prevent movement of the object along the passageway before the temperature of the bimetallic strip reaches the predetermined release temperature. The free end of the bimetallic strip moves away from the passageway to open the passageway to allow movement of the object along the passageway when the temperature of the bimetallic strip reaches the predetermined release temperature. The free end of the bimetallic strip is preferably L-shaped for contacting the object to prevent movement thereof along the passageway. A non-metallic tip formed of plastic, for example, can be provided at the free end of the bimetallic strip for contacting the object. The plastic tip can be press-fitted onto the bimetallic strip.
The passageway for movement of an object to be released is inclined with respect to the horizontal in the disclosed embodiment of the invention so that release of the object from the mechanism upon reaching the predetermined release temperature is facilitated by the force of gravity. If the object to be released is at least round in cross section, a round ball is employed in the illustrated embodiment, it is able to roll under the force of gravity down the inclined passageway past the temperature responsive means when the temperature of the temperature responsive means reaches the predetermined release temperature.
The novelty "brass monkey" incorporating the release mechanism of the invention includes a base which is provided beneath the release mechanism for receiving the object released by the release mechanism. The base is designed to produce an audible sound when struck by the balls released from the release mechanism. The base can also be provided with an electrical switch means which is actuated by the ball received by the base. The electrical switch means can be used to activate other devices.
According to a further feature of the invention means are provided for adjusting the predetermined release temperature of the release mechanism. In a preferred form of the invention, this means for adjusting comprises a support for the object to be released and means for adjusting the location of the support, and hence the object thereon, relative to the temperature responsive means.
These and other objects, features, and advantages of the present invention will become more apparent from the following description when taken in connection with the accompanying drawings which show, for purposes of illustration only, one embodiment in accordance with the invention.
BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE DRAWINGS
FIG. 1 is a side view of a "brass monkey" of the invention shown partially in cross-section through the body of the monkey and illustrating the release mechanism of the invention and the accompanying base and showing two balls to be released from the body when the temperature of a bimetallic strip of the mechanism reaches a predetermined release temperature;
FIG. 2 is a top view of a portion of the release mechanism of the invention of FIG. 1 taken along the line II--II and depicting the bimetallic strip in relation to the two balls to be released from the body of the release mechanism; and
FIG. 3 is an enlarged cross sectional view of a portion of the release mechanism of the invention and illustrating two additional features of the of the invention not shown in FIG. 1 including means for adjusting the predetermined release temperature for releasing the balls from the mechanism and an L-shaped plastic tip press-fitted onto the free end of the bimetallic strip.
DESCRIPTION OF THE DISCLOSED EMBODIMENT
Referring now to the drawings, a release mechanism 1 according to the invention is shown incorporated into a novelty "brass monkey" for releasing balls 2 and 3 from a body 4 of the "brass monkey" at a predetermined release temperature through an opening or passageway 5 in the body.
More specifically, the body 4 comprises a support surface 6 and side walls 7 and 8 which define a passageway for movement of the balls 2 and 3 to be released. A temperature responsive means in the form of a bimetallic strip 9 at least partially obstructs the passageway to prevent movement of the object along the passageway 5 before the temperature of the bimetallic strip reaches a predetermined release temperature. The bimetallic strip is fixedly supported at one end in a slot 10 in the body 4 by crimping the portions of the body on either side of the slot 10 against the bimetallic strip or otherwise fastening the strip therein as by soldering, for example. The opposite free end of the bimetallic strip is positioned for movement toward and away from the passageway 5 for at least partially obstructing the passageway to prevent movement of the balls 2 and 3 along the passageway and past the strip 9 before temperature of the bimetallic strip reaches the predetermined release temperature. The bimetallic element 9 is made by welding together two strips of metal having different coefficients of expansion. For example, the two strips of metal may be invar (iron-nickel alloy) and brass. A change in temperature causes the bimetallic element or composite strip to bend an amount proportional to the temperature. Thus, when the temperature drops to a predetermined release temperature, the free end of the bimetallic strip 9 moves upwardly to the position shown in dashed lines in FIGS. 1 and 3 thereby releasing the balls 2 and 3 for movement through the opening or passageway 5 of the body 4.
Preferably, the free end of the bimetallic strip 9 is L-shaped so that the free end of the strip contacts the adjacent ball to prevent movement thereof along the passageway before the temperature of the bimetallic strip reaches the predetermined release temperature. As shown in FIG. 3 of the drawings, the L-shaped tip 11 of the bimetallic strip 9 may be formed of plastic with the tip 11 being press-fitted onto the bimetallic strip.
The support surface 6 of the body 4 which defines the passageway 5 for movement of the balls to be released is preferably inclined with respect to the horizontal. This inclination is 5° to 7° in the illustrated embodiment. With this arrangement, the force of gravity causes the balls to roll down the support surface 6 and out the opening in the bottom of the body 4 when the bimetallic strip moves away from the passageway at the predetermined release temperature.
A means 12 can be provided in the release mechanism for adjusting the predetermined release temperature as shown in FIG. 3 of the drawings. The means 12 comprises a support 6' for the balls 2 and 3 and means in the form of adjusting screws 13 and 14 for adjusting the location of the support 6' relative to the bimetallic strip. Adjustment of the screws 13 and 14 changes the spacing between the support 6' and the free end of the bimetallic strip 9. Since the amount of bending of the bimetallic strip is proportional to the temperature, changing the relative spacing between the support 6' and the free end of the bimetallic strip necessarily changes the release temperature at which the balls 2 and 3 can roll unobstructed past the free end of the bimetallic strip.
A base 15 of the novelty "brass monkey" is provided beneath the release mechanism to receive the balls released by the mechanism. Both the body 4 of the "brass monkey" and the base 15 are preferably formed of metal with the base 15 having a hollow form so as to produce an audible sound when struck by the balls released from the body 4. The balls 2 and 3 successively drop from the body 4 onto an inclined top step 16 of the base from where they progressively roll and drop through additional steps 17, 18, 19 and 20 formed on the base as shown in FIG. 1. An electrical switch 21 can be provided in the base, for example adjacent the bottom step 20 for actuation by the balls. In particular, the switch 21 is provided with a plunger located in a position where it is contacted and depressed by the ball 2 when the ball is received in the lower step 20 of the base. The electrical switch 21 can, in turn, be used to activate other devices such as a bell tone or chimes, for example. Once the balls have been dropped from the body 4 by the release mechanism, and the temperature has increased above the predetermined release temperature, the balls can be returned to the body 4 by inserting them through the bottom opening 5 in the body in which case the bimetallic strip 9 is pushed upwardly momentarily at its free end for insertion of the balls onto the support surface of the body, or the balls may be inserted in another opening, not shown, provided in the side of the body adjacent the support surface 6.
While I have shown and described only one embodiment in accordance with the present invention, it is understood that the same is not limited thereto, but is susceptible to numerous changes and modifications as known to those skilled in the art. For example, the release mechanism and base of the invention are not limited to use in a novelty "brass monkey" but could be used in other applications for releasing balls and/or a variety of other objects. For example, lightweight cylinders could be permitted to roll down the inclined support surface upon reaching a predetermined release temperature. Further, the bimetallic element in the release mechanism could be in a form other than a strip and also could be oriented so as to release an object with an increase in temperature to a predetermined release temperature instead of with a decrease in temperature to a predetermined release temperature as in the disclosed embodiment of the invention. Therefore, I do not wish to be limited to the details shown and described herein, but intend to cover all such changes and modifications as are encompassed by the scope of the appended claims.

SONG OF THE DAY: The Girls They Love Me (screwed & chopped)

Syrup & Soda is my absolute favorite DJ Screw tape. Nothing else even comes close, to be honest. He’s in such a zone on this one (Chapter 046 in the anti-chronological Screw discography), with a heavy old school set on Side A. But he’s not just playing the tracks, he’s fuckin’ it up on the tables, juggling “The Girls They Love Me” and “Love’s Gonna Get You” to his heart’s content. And even on Side B, when it gets to that west coast gangsta funk Screw tapes are more known for, he still sprinkles in a Slick Rick track, and fills out the end of the second side of the tape (remember, these were all originally 100-minute Maxell mixtapes) with “Juicy”. Just an absolute classic, and whenever somebody wants me to tell them where to start, I go to this one. Of course, who the fuck is gonna listen to a whole ass 100-minute mixtape, in the order it was originally released? You. You should at least. Most all his tapes are the Internet Archive.

SONG OF THE DAY: Danny's Song (live)

I don’t know who came up with the term “yacht rock” but I bet he’s an asshole (and I’m sure he’s a he). Whoever he is, I bet he actually gets mad about wanting to be acknowledged as the person who came up with the term “yacht rock”. I bet it’s in his social media bio, irregardless of what kind of character limit is there. (Yeah, I used “irregardless” as a word, because the type of dude who invents “yacht rock” as a term and then gets mad about people not giving him the proper credit for thinking that stupid shit up is exactly the type of guy that will explain to you how “irregardless” ain’t a word, even though when you read that shit, you knew what I meant, because that’s how words work, even if you refuse to acknowledge them being an official real people word.)

By the way, this double album got played a lot in my household growing up. I can sing the fuck out of this song any minute of any day, and when it comes on, I got a head full of memories playing with my secondhand off-brand toys while this was blasting. It's a double LP, but I can tell you from my memories, that my folks played Side A specifically way the fuck more than anything else (which this song is off of). Anyways, if I ever get married to the beech tree behind the house like I've been wanting to for a while now, this is gonna be our wedding song.

SONG OF THE DAY: Train Leaves Here This Morning

There is, in fact, no more trains running from here on a daily basis. You’re gonna have to drive 45 minutes away to catch a train, and it doesn’t leave there tomorrow morning. They only run every other day and not on Sundays. They don’t sell tickets there either, you have to buy them online. Good luck though!

SONG OF THE DAY: Take Me To The River

Sometimes you just want a slightly blander version of a great song… not necessarily bad, but Levon Helm ain’t Al Green. You can’t always go sit by the river on a Friday afternoon. Sometimes you gotta do it on Tuesday, too.

SONG OF THE DAY: Rain and Snow

I am not sure there’s a more perfect song ever recorded. This dude’s wailing singing is just beyond reproach. It is like a full moon over snowy expanse, etched into vinyl. Just perfect.