SONG OF THE DAY: Lookin' for a Home (kudzu'd)

This was the title of my last book of haiku, because I love this song so much, and was listening to it a lot as my life rearranged itself after a couple of decades of a previous order. I was lost for a minute, even to the point of dissociating more than I’ve ever let everyone know, and I’d be driving to Richmond where I was sleeping with a woman at the time, who was helping me feel again, and this song would be blasting on my stereo, I think a sunroof Civic I inherited from a homie for free at the time, and I was lost and drifting, through both physical and astral planes, and damn, it hit so deep. Even slowed, it remains a great track. Be sure to check out both my old and new haiku books, because it’s good shit, and was how I charted my way through the lost times. I’m still lost, just in a different place than I used to be. I feel like I’m getting somewhere, but nobody really knows, do they?

SONG OF THE DAY: Don't Make Me Creep

I’ve been cheating on the internet with real life lately, as I had the week off and was wandering. Today was back to work, which interestingly enough means I am once again bombarded with things I don’t need to know about, and also faced with the existence of people who seem to be more important or successful than me, and I don’t know why. The resentment machine is cranked back up, by design. Digital world is meant to demean us. Creep away from it whenever you can.

SONG OF THE DAY: Take A Look At Yourself

Been feeling off kilter and not on top of my own universal magnetics flow lately. Trying to take a look at myself, and also trying to eliminate the hating, even if of self. Hating ain’t healthy. Been feeling like I’m trapped inside clouds, and can’t get a clear look at what’s ahead, and it’s been so long like that I’m starting to doubt I’m still on the right path. But I can’t tell if the path is wrong either. Probably just been too much thinking and not enough trusting heart to lead the right way through the clouds.

SONG OF THE DAY: Forgive Them Oh God Amin-Amin

You could not possibly inject enough Muslim Funk into my soul. Wish I could find my amethyst beaded tasbih beads my eldest made for me that got lost somewhere on my wayward wanders forgetting to focus on seeking truth rather than material comforts. I am confident it’s “around here somewhere” but that somewhere has yet to reveal itself, perhaps because I’m not in the right mind frame or heart space just yet. Thus, I say again, with even more urgency, you could not possibly inject enough Muslim Funk into my soul.

1 R3M41N 4 B3DR4GGL3D...

I remain a bedraggled 
mess, but still upright, scratching 
another year from the Earth 

WH3N 0N3'S T00 D33PLY ST33P3D 1N...

when one’s too deeply steeped in 
self-doubt, they tend to choose those 
who dull their natural shine 

41N'T N0 SH0RT4G3 0F D4RK H0L3S...

ain’t no shortage of dark holes 
to get lost in; sometimes they 
become too comfortable 

SONG OF THE DAY: Searching

Been a lot of "searching" themed songs in my fluctuating soundtrack lately. Not sure if that's a sign or not. I mean, it's a sign, but my understanding of it is limited still, as I'm only human. Imagine thinking humans can figure everything in the universe out? What kind of egotistic asshole do you have to be to think like that?

TH3R3'S GR4C3 1N 1MP3RF3CT10N...

there’s grace in imperfection, 
despite the devils in our 
ears suggesting otherwise 

W3 4R3 0NLY N3W T0 TH1S...

we are only new to this 
world once; after that, we have 
to accept our blemishes 

4S L0NG 4S 1'M ST1LL VPR1GHT...

as long as I’m still upright, 
can’t ever say my best days 
are only found behind me 

N4V1G4T10N 0F D4RK P4THS...

navigation of dark paths 
requires random guidance from 
above, else one get too lost 

W4ND3R1NG STR4NG3 4LL3YS 4ND...

wandering strange alleys and 
back roads due to nocturnal 
spirit, bound to seek darkness 

H4D MY D4YS 0F D3L1NQV3NT...

had my days of delinquent 
self-indulgence in attempts 
to numb myself to heart ache 

P3RS0N4L H1ST0R13S C4N'T...

personal histories can’t 
be edited… only learned 
from; too many censure past 

TRVLY B0RN T0 L0S3 BVT T00...

truly born to lose but too 
loosely focused to notice; 
so I just keep on flowing 

H4RN3SS1NG F4LS3 3N3RGY...

harnessing false energy 
to overrule the red light 
inside screaming exhaustion 

CL4R1TY'S 0FT3N L4CK1NG...

clarity’s often lacking, 
as the manufactured fog 
filling all my mind’s fissures 

W4ND3R1NG TH3S3 C1V1L1Z3D...

wandering these civilized 
deserts of humanity, 
attempting to find focus 

SONG OF THE DAY: Come and Get Your Love

brain not always working well enough to put whole thoughts into whole sentences lately 
can put half thoughts into long sentences or make whole sentences 
out of fragment clusters but fuck man 
feeling exhausted 
maybe this is what getting old is 
I don't know 
weight of the world both immediate and beyond my control 
starting to feel like too many cobwebs 
and you can't fit a broom into the corner of your mind 
so I juggle expectations and obligations 
and hope to make it to another day 
where I don't have to listen to an alarm clock 
and can sleep in my own bed 
unencumbered by anything 
need to be floating again 
like clouds 
not feeling lost but having to keep pushing 
like fog 
anyways 
come and get 
your love 
while 
you 
can