16-Man Metaphysical Roster: CLUB AMERICA

{Club America taking over an American stadium}

[16-Man Metaphysical Rosters are divined using a football metaphysics methodology where minutes played over the past 50 competitive club matches determines which 16 players constitute the strongest psychic influence over a club’s current psychic trajectory. Intuitive analysis is then added, with a decidedly un-American foundation. Football metaphysics believes in the beautiful game, not the modern corporate spectacle. We have more of a love for Maradona in Mexico than Messi in Miami. One North American club is done each month, divided equally between Liga MX and the MLS, as they are the top two leagues in our home country of America (because in footballing terms, many parts of America are actually Mexico). This is now a solo project again by Raven Mack, but used to be a small group effort, so it bears saying, Rest In Peace Neil.]

The Leagues Cup has been going on the past month, with the North American introduction to Lionel Messi (as well as refs disparately calling things in his goatness’s favor). This was the first one to include all the clubs in both MLS and Liga MX, and with the World Cup being hosted jointly in North America in 2026, I sometimes think we’re headed towards a multinational league (more so than the current US/Canada one); but also, I just don’t know. Mexico has the stronger and deeper football history, and to be honest, the better top clubs. But in order to make this big event happen, all the Mexican clubs had to agree to leave Mexico for the month and take no home matches. It’s very one-sided (as was the allocation of World Cup 2026 host cities), and I think the biggest obstacle to a unified North American land mass league is how far is Liga MX willing to compromise itself. The quality of the league (and the national team) has already suffered in recent years as Mexican clubs no longer compete in Copa Libertadores – a far more difficult and historic tournament than anything CONCACAF could come up with. That’s tied Mexican clubs to the MLS for international competitions, and a combination of MLS clubs getting better and Mexican clubs playing down to their opponents has closed the gap a good bit. But because of this long-term prognostication on my part that the business of football means the metaphysics will be compromised for some sort of hybrid MLS/Liga MX league of some sorts – even if it’s further expansion of this Leagues Cup nonsense – means I’m going to do a 16-man metaphysics for one North American club every month as well (hopefully, lol). I’ll alternate between Liga MX and MLS. And it only makes sense (even though I did actually use their performances in both domestic leagues and CONCACAF Champions League from the past 7 years in compiling this) to begin with Club América, which is like the Dallas Cowboys or Los Angeles Lakers of Mexican fútbol. In fact, in their appearances in Leagues Cup, it was wild to see how, no matter where in America (the county) they played, América (the club) had supporters turning out in huge numbers, turning stadiums yellow. The Chicago Fire match felt like an away game for the Fire, which was to be expected considering the large Mexican population in the Chicago area. But it didn’t really seem to matter where they were at, as supporters showed up for every match, making noise and dominating the stadium’s chant and cheer discourse. Club América is not on their best stretch though, despite still being a top club. They still have more Liga MX titles than anybody else, but they’re in the midst of a five-year dry spell (with Liga MX having two seasons per year, rather than just one); and they haven’t sniffed a Champions League title since going back-to-back in 2015 and 2016 (though they did lose the final to Monterrey in 2021). All of this despite being the home of major football figures both at the managerial and player level. Strangely, this past summer, there was a lot of talk of Gregg Berhalter coming in, as further sign of Mexican fútbol compromising itself for U.S. dollars, but thankfully that didn’t happen, and Brazilian André Jardine was brought in instead. Not exactly a proven entity, but obviously América felt the need to shake things up. Nonetheless, according to our advanced football metaphysics dorkmetrics (minutes played in the past 50 competitive club matches), here’s your top 16 forces on this Club América squad’s psyche (through August 08, 2023)…

#1: ÁLVARO FIDALGO – The flow of talent tends to be from the western hemisphere to Europe at a younger age, but if not good enough for the jump to Europe, a lot of Spanish-language South Americans come to Liga MX. And then fading stars make their way backwards on the exploitation migration channels as they age out of their prime. Álvaro Fidalgo is the somewhat rare example of a European player moving west (although one of Mexico’s biggest stars, André-Pierre Gignac of Tigres also went went), joining América on loan from a second division La Liga club in 2021, and then the move being made permanent. He’s become a fulcrum in the middle of the midfield for América, aiding in attack and distribution to more potent scoring threats (though he’s not above chipping in a goal himself). Fidalgo spent teen years at the Real Madrid youth academy, so he’s experienced football at a level a lot of Liga MX dudes have not, so even though he’s still only 26, he does have somewhat of an elder role with the club on the pitch.

#2: SEBASTIÁN CÁCERES – Cáceres is a young Uruguayan defender who made the jump from his youth team in his native country to América back in 2020. He’s actually gotten 3 appearances with the Uruguayan national team in the past couple years as well, but it’s doubtful he’ll grow into a player that makes the jump to Europe. Liga MX doesn’t have quite the same level of player movement every season that MLS does, but there’s still a good bit of it. A guy like Cáceres will likely see América get all they can out of him, then he’ll bounce between a couple other Liga MX clubs, before eventually heading back home a decade down the road. There’s an honorable tradition of South America players who aren’t quite great enough for Europe but can make a solid (and well-paying) career in Mexico, which is a top-paying league in this hemisphere.

#3: RICHARD SÁNCHEZ – Sánchez is honestly the fiery heart of this club a lot of times. The Paraguayan might not be as Mexican famous as Henry Martin or Julián Quiñones or Diego Valdés, but chances are if somebody has gotten pissed off and decided to angrily take over a match on offense, it’s gonna be Sánchez. My favorite club in Liga MX is Santos Laguna, and one of their best ever players in recent times was Brian Lozano (now at Atlas, and diminished after injury) but both Lozano and Sánchez similarly have this “fuck you” switch that you can actually get switched on, and know they are about to try and get as stupid as possible in owning a defender. And it’s great when it works. Sánchez has a whole lot more support than Lozano ever did, but they both have worked with Valdés, who definitely benefits from the presence of that type of attitude alongside him. I love Sánchez.

#4: DIEGO VALDÉS – Like I just said, I pull for Santos Laguna, and Valdés was a force for them for a while. He’ll hit 30 next January, so he’s obviously one of those dudes like I mentioned before that comes from a footballing nation (Chile) but not quite good enough to jump the Atlantic. He’s made a good living for himself, and remains a threat to score. Probably most notable for his time on the Chilean national team when he made racist slant eyes gesture before a match with South Korea in a friendly after World Cup 2018 had ended. Wears the #10 for Club América… an always important fact to note in Latin America.

#5: HENRY MARTÍN – #21 in your program, but number one in Club América’s supporters’ hearts, Martín has been figure on the squad for a long time now, having joined way back in December of 2017 when heavyweight coach (both figuratively and literally) Miguel Herrera was in charge. Martín’s also been a regular presence on the national team, and with both the national team and Club América occupying Estadio Azteca in Mexico City, it’s all helped Martín to be an outsized figure in Mexican football. That being said, the club’s lack of success in winning liguilla has corresponded directly with Martín’s time there. So I don’t know.

#6: ISRAEL REYES – Young defender who made the move to América from Puebla last winter, and has become key on that side of things pretty quickly. The exposure on a big club has helped him get more time on the national team this year as well, with 11 of his 14 appearances for El Tri coming in 2023. That gig at Estadio Azteca is still prominent at club level, to get you in the Mexican football mind’s eye.

#7: JONATHAN RODRÍGUEZ – Another Uruguayan who has bounced around Liga MX for a number of years, had a spell with Benfica in Portugal earlier in his career (but never stuck on the A team), and even spent the first half of last year playing for Al-Nassr in Saudi Arabia, before the Cristiano Ronaldo torrent of European superstars took hold. Before the Saudi stint, he’d spent a number of seasons with Cruz Azul, who also play in Estadio Azteca, so the home of Mexican football has also been Rodríguez’s home since 2019 for the most part.

#8: MIGUEL LAYÚN – As Henry Martín is to the offensive side of Club América, Miguel Layún is on the defensive side. An elder statesmen of Mexican football, who spent a long time on El Tri, including at both the 2014 and 2018 World Cups, he had a major stint with América earlier in his career, bookended by prominent European experiences in Serie A with Atalanta and England with Watford. Layún played a number of years in Europe, in Portugal and Spain as well, returning to Mexico to join Monterrey in 2019, but coming home (sort of) to América in June of 2021. Even at 35, his presence looms large, often adorned with the captain’s armband.

#9: ALEJANDRO ZENDEJAS – Again, the migration pattern of players is generally speaking, Latin American players who aren’t going to a higher caliber league make their way to MLS, but you don’t see a lot of American players going to Liga MX. Alejandro Zendejas is the rare counter example, but also very much a part of both sides of the border, having been born and living in Juárez and El Paso. As a teen, he signed a contract with FC Dallas, but ended up joining Chivas pretty early on, and part of that deal was to agree to play for the Mexican national team rather than the US one, because Chivas wouldn’t have had him otherwise. He spent some time with Necaxa after Chivas, but then joined América January of last year. He’s steadily gotten minutes as a winger since then. He also became source of controversy between national teams last year, as FIFA investigated him being played in a couple friendlies by El Tri despite not having filed the proper paperwork for national team allegiance. (Zendejas played as a youth player for the US.) The eventual outcome was that Mexico had to forfeit all matches Zendejas appeared in (the two friendlies, plus a few U-23 matches he played in) and he switched back to the US team, even scoring a goal for them against Grenada in Nations League play. It seems shocking he’d remain in Mexico after all that, but thus far, he’s remained a part of Club América. Still only 25, I would not be shocked to see him come back across the Rio Grande to one of the Texas teams in the near future.

#10: NÉSTOR ARAUJO – Araujo’s another long-time Mexican defender for the national team, who spent long stints at both Cruz Azul and Santos Laguna, as well as Celta de Vigo in Spain for four years. As is often the case with big names that went to Europe, América was the most likely landing spot upon returning to Mexico. He and Layún make a pretty legendary tandem on defense, both huge names in Mexican football, but Club América specializes in those. Got no idea on how payrolls are in Liga MX, but nobody has TV deals and merchandise moving like América. They can afford people nobody else in Mexico can.

#11: LUIS FUENTES – And Fuentes is like the other side of a Liga MX defender to Araujo and Layún. Fuentes played a decade for Pumas, and has bounced around a few other clubs, so is well known in his three year stint with América. But he’s only had a single appearance of the national team in that long and competent career. He’s still strong by Liga MX standards, but also 36. They got a couple younger folks on defense (the two Reyeses), but damn, they got some age out there too.

#12: LUIS MALAGÓN – Mexican GK getting his highest profile gig after periods with Morelia and Necaxa. His signing was no small deal because he came in to replace Mexican legend Guillermo Ochoa, who dazzled the world at World Cup 2014. Malagón’s gotten a couple of caps for the national team himself, but he’ll never be at that level of Ochoa. However, Ochoa has gotten older, and current Malagón is an upgrade to current Ochoa, who took a contract in Italy to play last December the same time Malagón joined América. It’s tough replacing a national legend like that, even if Ochoa’s best moments didn’t come during that Club América stint, but Malagón has done well.

#13: SALVADOR REYES – The other of the dos Reyes who are the younger defenders helping keep the club up to speed. They’re not related, and Salvador plays on the left side, and has been with the club a couple years longer, but has found it harder to keep his minutes on América’s crowded roster.

#14: LEONARDO SUÁREZ – Suárez has a solid footballing pedigree, having grown up and first featured as at the senior level for Boca Juniors (one of the top clubs in this hemisphere), and then spending five years in Spain under contract to Villarreal. He came back to this half of the Earth in January 2020, joining América, and though he spent a year loaned to Santos Laguna, since he’s returned, he’s forced his way into the conversation as being a necessary member of their squad. Nonetheless, it’s a crowded squad, with Martín and Julián Quiñones needing their time as well, so Suárez is likely seen as expendable by the club ultimately. Wouldn’t be surprising to see him loaned out again to another Liga MX club for a year, or even make the jump to MLS. He’d do pretty good against American competition.

#15: EMILIO LARA – The youngest (21) most promising defender of all on this squad, who also has expectations for him at the national team level. Lara joined América at age 15 as a youth player, and the 2022-23 season really asserted himself as a key member of the squad. He also got his first national team appearance too, and thus far has spent his entire professional career at Club América. Even in Mexico, homegrown players can be rare, because on a club like this, rarely is a young player good enough to start in front of the expensive veterans, but Lara has carved his spot. And with the age of some of the older guys, his role will likely only grow.

#16: ÓSCAR JIMÉNEZ – Jiménez is another example of becoming a prominent player on big domestic club with zero international presence. He’s considered one of the captains of the club, and has held onto a GK slot over the years since 2017, despite being supplanted by first Ochoa and now Malagón. When he first came on, it was a back-up to a different guy back then, so he’s handled the role well, of maintaining that secondary beta position, but stepping up whenever necessary. It’s a rare aesthetic to be a highly competent back-up GK like that, but Giménez plays it well, which is why he is one of the club’s captains despite not being a regular member of the starting XI.

14-Man Micro-Metaphysical Roster: CLUB SANTOS LAGUNA

{spirit warrior - Brian Lozano}

[14-Man Micro-Metaphysical Roster is a football metaphysics methodology calculating minutes played per the last 50 competitive matches for a North American football club, weighting that shit more heavily for most recent matches, and using them calculations to list the 14 players constituting the strongest psychic force on a club’s current path. This is done at Football Metaphysics Space twice a month for the Premier League clubs in England, and now I’m doing it for the top clubs in North America, two per month. Pay me for my emotionless labor paypal.me/dirtgod or venmo @ravenmack23]

Despite the fact this half of the Earth has been a little slower to handle the Covid 19 pandemic in any sort of meaningful and orderly way, the two major soccer leagues on this continent are cranking back up. Major League Soccer - the American and Canadian organization - is having some sort of group league tournament bullshit at the ESPN studios in Florida (a state currently heating back up with covid cases), and Liga MX is firing off a new-fangled Copa por Mexico to get people primed for the return of Liga MX later this month. Santos Laguna was sitting in 3rd before the shutdown this past spring, and finished first the previous season last December, but suffered an ignominious quarterfinal defeat to Monterrey, who made a bold run to the title unexpectedly. When I first moved away from my broken marriage and started laying around on the secondhand Ikea couch lifting weights sporadically, watching Mexican football as well as Copa Libertadores, I adopted Santos Laguna as my club on this half of the Earth. The green and white hoops appeal to me, and they're from Durango state, which is one of the more rural expanses to be represented in Mexican football, with the bulk of the clubs coming from the central part of the country, or ciudad Monterrey. That first liguilla I watched (Liga MX playoffs), Santos rallied to a title (only their 6th), so I've stuck with them in a loose allegiance ever since, which has mostly led to frustration in the playoffs, but Mexican football is pretty fun to watch to be honest. And with the years broken up into two half-seasons, you're never that far away from intense drama. At first I thought the split seasons thing was stupid, but that was just Eurocentric thinking expecting a full Gregorian calendar to be respected at ultimate authoritative law. Anyways, Santos Laguna was next on the agenda for North American football coverage when we shut her down here at Football Metaphysics Space in March, so I'm coming back with their 14-man Micrometaphysics to get this Raven Mack solo project rolling again on this here un-American football site that nobody knows about but actually exists. I'm a writer of massive gibberish, not a marketer. And that is how I will die.

#1: GERARDO ARTEAGA – Arteaga's a good number one, because he is full Santos, having joined the club's U15 team as a youth, and shockingly is only 21 years old. A player that young being the #1 on one of these lists, as well as somebody who isn't GK, is a metaphysical double to be honest. He's not only been key to Santos defensive line under long-faced Uruguayan manager Guillermo Almada, but Arteaga has cracked the Mexican national team squad for a handful of appearances, mostly in friendlies, since September of 2018. He appeared in all 30 of Santos Laguna's matches during Apertura 2019 and the shortened Clausura 2020, and is such a solid, confident full back for his age. He's definitely a player who may make the jump across the Atlantic to a European league. With the success of Raul Jimenez at Wolves this season, and fond memories of Chicharito's prime, it seems that other than Guillermo Ochoa's European run after World Cup 2018, most of the prominent Mexican players are strikers. If Arteaga (and Santos) have a good run once the new Liga MX season ramps back up, Arteaga might be a transfer target come next summer. I think if this had been a normal season with a 2020 transfer season right now, he might've even gone now. There's such a stunted growth period to our world due to the pandemic, with a lot of that "stunted growth" perhaps being changes in the way we think things ought to exist anyways. But it's going to take a few years worth of empty stadium matches to bankrupt our current money-fueled international football pyramid scam.

#2: BRIAN LOZANO – Brian Lozano is one of those Napoleonic assholes that you’d never like if they weren’t on the team you’re pulling for. He gets this look during matches, of some easily perceived transgression - from the other team, or the ref, or the crowd, or life in general - that just oozes “pending yellow card” as soon as you see it. I guess that’s the football metaphysics, because I’m not sure everybody sees that so easily, but I know I can recognize it, and as a Santos supporter, it sorta gives me pause, especially if the other side is headed downstream with the ball when Lozano gets that look, because I’m expecting some sort of senseless foul. The beauty of these moments though is that one time out of every five, instead of a foul, it culminates in an absolutely beautiful string of play that pulls a shot on goal out of complete clusterfuckery. And in some instances it even delivers a goal, which are those moments that make a fan of a Napoleonic asshole like Brian Lozano forgive all his idiotic seconds, because nobody else is capable of making things happen like that. Sadly, Lozano is out for all of Apertura 2020 because of a broken leg during training a couple weeks ago, which required surgery. He’s out for the next six months, and you just fuckin’ know it was exactly one of those over-the-top moments, even in practice, that this little hard ass got himself mixed up in, that caused the broke leg. Oh well. Some folks are just built that way, and it’s better to let them be who they are, rather than try to make them into something they’re not. That’s part of the beauty of Liga MX, as compared to the finer European leagues, in that a guy like Lozano is gonna get cleaned the fuck up for the big money leagues. The closest we’ve come to a Lozano in Europe is his fellow Uruguayan Luis Suarez, and we know how much everybody hates Suarez, for ruining the beautiful game’s bullshit beauty with his overt insane passion for the moment.

#3: JULIO FURCH – Furch is an Argentine forward for Santos, which means he's somewhat white-appearing. Colorism is a real thing in Mexico, and throughout Latin America, and is a contributing reason to the general dislike a lot of the other nations feel for Argentina as a whole, who happen to be a pretty dominant cultural force in football. Argentines seem whiter a lot of times, and also have an air of superiority stereotypically when compared to their other Latin peers. I wouldn't say Furch carries himself this way, although Furch was filing the paperwork two years back for dual citizenship in Mexico, in the hopes of playing for El Tri down the road (which he wouldn't have been eligible for until this year). Furch will get the chance to prove himself this upcoming Apertura 2020 season, with Lozano out for the entire season. Santos are gonna need Furch to live up to his complete potential in the rough and tumble world of Liga MX's short season melee.

#4: JONATHAN OROZCO – Orozco had been Santos GK for the past three-and-a-half seasons before the pandemic shutdown. He also contracted Covid 19 in Mexico, but recovered. He's moved to Club Tijuana (Xolos), whose own GK Gibran Lajud has reversed directions and come to Santos. It feels like a lateral move, but honestly with all things the same, sometimes lateral moves give a boost to both clubs because players are invigorated by the change of scenery. Santos Laguna was one of the few Liga MX clubs outside the central region of Mexico, revolving around Ciudad Mexico, But Tijuana is the furthest outpost in the top tier of Mexican football. Plus Xolos play on astoturf, which ain't gonna help a 34-year-old GK's body feeling fresh. So the lateral trade for Santos that shaved 8 years off their first choice GK might not be so lateral a move after all.

#5: FERNANDO GORRIARAN – Along with Lozano, Gorriaran gives Almada a pair of prominent fellow Uruguayans on the club in major roles to help steer the club's philosophy. Gorriaran actually played under Almada at Uruguay's club version named River Plate (not to be confused with the more famous one across the Rio de la Plata, or "River Plate", in Argentina). Gorriaran actually spent a couple seasons playing in Europe, albeit in Hungary, before rejoining his former manager in Mexico last summer. It was his first goalless season since 2016, back in Uruguay, but he did assist on four goals for Santos Laguna during his short time there so far, so he is having an influence. As with everything on this club, it's going to be interesting to see how that influence is altered by the lack of Brian Lozano's presence this Apertura 2020 season.

#6: DORIA – Doria is a Brazilian defender who, still at only age 25, has seen his football trajectory cross back over the Atlantic to his native western hemisphere. As a teen, as a sensation at Brazil's Botafogo club, he was sold to Marseille in France, where he was subsequently relegated to the B-team, and loaned out to back to Brazil (Sao Paulo), then Spanish and Turkish clubs. He had a little bit of a run on Marseille's senior team, with over 30 appearances, mostly as a sub, but a single goal scored in a top European domestic league, in a Marseille 3-1 loss to Lyon in January of 2017. He joined Santos Laguna in the summer of 2018, and is a key to their defense as center back. He got injured in the last few weeks of action before pandemic shutdown, but should be available when they kick it back off later this month.

#7: ULISES RIVAS – Rivas is a young midfielder who joined the Santos Laguna youth team at age 13, where he played regularly for their U15 team, and has gradually moved up to their U17, U20, and made his senior club debut in the 2014 Copa Libertadores against Arsenal of Argentina. Since then, he's mostly appeared in their Copa MX matches, but has gotten league action, and slowly developed into a regular member of their rotation at midfield. Two of their six titles have come with him on the squad, which is not to say he's directly responsible for that in any grand way so much as to say when you have a youth player who has been steeped entirely in your club, and you've initiated a winning tradition, with the young guys who grow into cornerstones for the club, it becomes the expectation.

#8: CARLOS ORRANTIA – Orrantia's been a right edge of the field floater for Santos since 2015. I love the heavy use of multi-faceted players on the edges who can be defensive or a winger on attack, as it hypes the game the fuck up. A note here that I've actually had to start using Spanish-language Wikipedia to look these dudes up, because the English version is like 150 words for Orrantia, whereas the Spanish one is a fuller fleshed out page. Hopefully my Spanish gets better by having to do that. The English continue to fail us.

#9: HUGO RODRIGUEZ – Even with Spanish wikipedia, it's hard to figure the actual club rights of some of these guys. Hugo Rodriguez is a perfect example, whose been loaned to Santos from Pachuca, or maybe not. I can't really tell from online records. But he's bounced around Liga MX for a decade, having played stints for Atlas, Tigres, Pachuca, Monarcas, Puebla, and now Santos Laguna. He's a workmanlike defender who fills out the back line, and is never going to transfer overseas most likely, but probably could plug it out in Liga MX another half a decade if he chooses. Just an obscure, hardly known defender, whose career apex was likely the two Mexican national team appearances he had in November of 2014 during a European tour for friendlies against Belarus and the Netherlands.

#10: ERICK CASTILLO – Castillo is a dark-skinned Ecuadorian winger who usually wears a mohawk, and who wears his nickname of "Culebra" on his jersey, which means snake. He's literally my favorite player in Liga MX, because he's so relentlessly persistent, and was definitely one of the dudes who made me fall so much in love with Latin American football that I didn't care so much about European football (especially considering the time zone match for me lined up better with football on this half of the Earth). He also is the perfect example of how Liga MX will be superior to MLS for a while, even if they combine into one league, because a guy like Castillo is not likely to be on an MLS roster, because his style of play is unlike American soccer - very speedy, cut throat, opportunistic, with a willingness for physicality as necessary. But it's a much more enjoyable form of soccer on a very basic level of wanting to go "ohhhhh shit!"

#11: DIEGO VALDES – Chilean midfielder who has been a second-level member of the Chilean national team, mostly for friendlies or lesser international matches (like against the USMNT lol). Valdes did, however, create an international racial incident in the build-up to a 2018 friendly between Chile and South Korea, by using his hands to slant his eyes at a publicity event, in South Korea, which wasn't that long after Edwin Cardona of Colombia had done the same, so the Korean media blew the story up. It's interesting to note that Cardona also plays in Liga MX, for Xolos, and that in Apertura 2019, there was a huge effort by the Mexican FA to curb crowd homophobia in their chants. It's a thin line between pride and nationalism, and ultimately having world power often times is what makes that delineation. But at the same time, racist Polish or Serbian fans don't necessarily have all that much power on the world geopolitical stage, although white people do. I don't know man, I'm not sure how we fix all the world's deep-seated issues.

#12: FELIX TORRES – Torres is a fellow Ecuadorian for Culebra Erick Castillo, but I am sad to report that Culebra has transfered to Xolos, which has filled me with sadness that I can't shake. Although there's going to be an aesthetic beauty to Culebra and his mohawk flying along the wings in that red and black striped Xolos kit. Xolos fans are kinda crazy too, so it's a good fit. Also my apologies to Felix Torres for his entire blurb being hijacked by somebody else. My brain's attention span is definitely not a meritocracy.

#13: JOSECARLOS VAN RANKIN – Josecarlos Van Rankin's name seems simulated. He also has an uncle who is a minor celebrity TV host, nicknamed El Burro. Oh to have a tio named El Burro. Life is mundane suffering, burning with slow death by a thousand cuts to the soul.

#14: ADRIAN LOZANO – Lozano is a younger kid in the Santos club structure - only 21, and not related to Brian Lozano. The beauty of Liga MX is guys on the second team will wear three-digit jerseys that start with a 1, and then youth team players will wear three-digit jerseys that start with a 2. Lozano is currently #191. Generally, you see these guys in Copa MX, or the Copa por Mexico that's running currently. It's always an added level of joy in seeing a guy with the number 9 dribbling confidently along the edge, building towards the box, and then in flies some red-assed defender in number 189 who slides in and knocks the ball loose to a teammate who launches a counter attack. I love that shit. I'm always on the lookout for #187s or #211s.

14-Man Micro-Metaphysical Roster: CF MONTERREY

{Rogelio Funes Mori putting Monterrey up in last season's first leg of the final}

[14-Man Micro-Metaphysical Roster is a football metaphysics methodology calculating minutes played per the last 50 competitive matches for a North American football club, weighting that shit more heavily for most recent matches, and using them calculations to list the 14 players constituting the strongest psychic force on a club’s current path. This is done at Football Metaphysics Space twice a month for the Premier League clubs in England, and now I’m doing it for the top clubs in North America, two per month. Venmo me for my emotionless labor @ravenmack23.]

I've been horribly remiss in doing my football
metaphysics writings for Monterrey, or the next English Premier League one with
the whole crew. I think I saw an astrology woman post an IG meme about Mercury
retrograde, and normally I think all that shit is as silly as religion or
politics or science, but for some reason right now it feels like everybody is
an extremely squeezed psychic state. This would obviously be an important time
for football metaphysics, as football is the expression of life through sport,
and our collective metaphysics is kinda fucked at the moment, the football
becomes beautiful chaos in our lives as medicine, right? RIGHT?

Anyways, Monterrey is a place that intrigues me,
meaning the city itself, because it's a bastion of weekly lucha libre, which is
something that speaks to me strongly. It's also for some reason a strange
pocket of musical hybrydization where a Mexican DJ who made mixtapes at a flea
market started slowing down cumbia music from Colombia, because there's a large
presence of Colombians in Monterrey. Sonidero Duenez, the DJ in question,
created a screwed and chopped music style like we saw in Houston in America,
but a decade before, in Mexico. So all of this suggests to me it's a special
geographical area metaphysically.

2019 was a pretty big year for Monterrey the club
as well though. They won the North American version of the Champions League the
first half of the year, and had advanced from an 8th-place seeding to the
finals of the Liguilla (the Liga MX playoffs) the second half of 2019, and in
fact had to postpone that final home and away with Club America because of Club
World Cup obligations in Qatar, where they finished 3rd, and got to play
against Liverpool. Current manager Antonio Mohamed, who absolutely will trip
you out by looking like the most art gallery metrosexual director tecnico
possible on the sidelines, actually played for them back at the end of last
century, and managed them for about four years up until 2018, before getting a
shot in Europe managing Celta de Vigo in Spain. He did not last long though,
and returned to Monterrey this past October before their big playoff run to a
trophy. Here are the fourteen men who have helped that recent trajectory, which
had been mostly good, though they currently sit at the bottom of the Liga MX
table for this season…

#1: NICOLAS
SANCHEZ – Aging central defender that played all his life in his native
Argentina before coming on up to Monterrey in 2017. And at this point he's an
angry looking fucker, which is ultimately necessary in the rough and more
tumble world of Mexican futbol. And it's actually highly relevant as we have
CONCACAF Champions League knockout stages starting, because that style just sort
of is part of Mexican futbol, and not part of MLS at all, so that once they hit
cross-border play in the CONCACAF Champions League, the Mexican clubs just
brutalize everybody else, and yet have the finesse to follow the barbarism on
the back side with sweet attacks on the front end. Sadly, Monterrey's Apertura
2019 championship doesn't qualify them until next year's Champions League, and
for some fucked up reason, even though they re-organized to squeeze all the
Central American countries into six slots basically, the defending champions is
not an automatic qualifier. That shit makes no sense at all, especially
considering the US and Mexico get the same number of clubs, but you add in
Canada's token entrant (always a fifth MLS club), and it makes no fucking sense
times two. Pinche gringos.

#2: STEFAN
MEDINA – Colombian defender, and one of two prominent players that have
strong histories with Atletico Nacional there in Medellin. I've had a
long-running flirty relationship with a Colombian barista at work, and she's an
Atletico Nacional supporter BIG TIME, and also loves cumbia music. Because of
all this, Monterrey is her favorite club in Mexico. (She's married to a Mexican
dude, who is a Club American supporter. I live in fear he will kill me one day
because he finds out she tugs on my beard. That is not a euphemism, sadly.) All
this being said, I really hope at some point, Stefan Medina's nickname has been
"Funky Col'".

#3: MARCELO
BAROVERO – Monterrey is chock full of Argentines, but Barovero is the elder
statesmen of them, occupying the GK role for Los Rayados since summer of 2018.
He’d spent the previous two years with Necaxa, and I’ve come to love his dead
eyes look. He’s not the tallest of GKs, which may be why he never got to
Europe, despite having featured prominently for River Plate, and is still
considered a club hero there.

#4: JESUS
GALLARDO – Mexican football has been trying to crack down on homophobic
tendencies in th supporter bases, and unfortunately after Monterrey won
Liguilla at the end of last season, Gallardo got caught on tape singing an
anti-Club America chant that was full of anti-gay shit. He got suspended for
the first two matches of this Clausura 2020 season, but tweeted "Ni
modo" or "whatever" after the suspension was announced. Gallardo
will have been with Los Rayados for two years come May, and has been a regular
for the Mexican national team as well. Gallardo can play winger on the left
side, and possesses good speed and ability to circulate the ball, but has
fallen into a left back in recent years as well. Obviously having a potent
winger at left back helps the attack when you wanna open shit up though.

#5: CELSO
ORTIZ – Ortiz is a Paraguayan midfielder who first made his name for that
country's pre-eminent club, Cerro Porteno. That led to him putting in half a
dozen seasons over in the Netherlands for AZ, who's most notable for their guest
appearances on early Nas albums, including Illmatic. He's been with Monterrey
since summer of 2016, which is a long time in football history I guess, but
really Donald Trump wasn't even President at that point.

#6: CARLOS
RODRIGUEZ – Rodriguez is one of Monterrey's most famous homegrown stars,
who came up through their youth academy, and outside of a brief loan spell to
Toledo (Mexico, not Ohio), he's played his entire professional career with Los
Rayados. In the past year, due to his role with Monterrey, he's also gotten
invites to the Mexican national team camp, and played for them in the Gold Cup
as well. Having just turned 23 this past month, he's one of Monterrey's young
players of the future, but also you know how that goes. A lot of times those
dudes get sold off because they're worth more that way than taking up a space
the club wants to give to another Argentine dude.

#7: ROGELIO
FUNES MORI – Funes Mori is the go-to goal getter for Monterrey, and has
been for a while. He came up through River Plate in his native Argentina, but
also spent time in the USA as a youth player in Texas, which is actually
shocking to be honest. There was a reality TV show called Sueno MLS (I gotta
start being more dedicated to using Spanish letters), which he won, and that
got him a spot in the FC Dallas youth academy. His pops played in Argentina in
the '80s, and Funes Mori actually went back to Argentina, to play for River
Plate (the Republicans to Boca Juniors Democrats). Doing well there, he spent a
few years in Europe, in both Portugal and Turkey, before coming to Monterrey,
where he's become their big man on the scoresheet, and is actually their
all-time 2nd best scorer, but if he spends another full year on the squad,
keeping Vincent Janssen off the field, he'll likely catch up with leader
Humberto Suazo. Only 28 too, so definitely found his lane at Monterrey, and the
previous experience in Texas means he'll transition well to a few more
nice-paying low-impact seasons in MLS eventually as well.

#8: DORLAN
PABON – Dorlan Pabon has been with Monterrey constantly since 2014, and was
there for a season before then, having been sold for a season to Valencia when
he was in his prime, but returning to Monterrey, where he is without question
the heart and soul of this club. He's one of those players who you can watch
just sort of decide "okay, fuck it, I'm taking it to the next level"
and start to dominate a fifteen-minute chunk of a match, with the attack
building behind his energy, and you know they're gonna get a goal out of it
eventually. But he also just turned 32, so that energy is harder to follow with
his body when his soul decides it that time. Not sure they really have anybody
quite like Pabon on deck yet though.

#9: CESAR
MONTES – Young Monterrey youth academy dude who plays center back, and has
first learned the ways of Mexican football's rough and tumble defensiveness.
Another young staple for the club, whose been with the club for over six years,
despite only being 22.

#10: MAXIMILIANO
MEZA – 27-year-old Argentine midfielder who spent his entire career in his
native country before joining Monterrey at the beginning of last year, and
helping them with that Champions League run. Also the guy on the team with a
name that most sounds like he's a minor rapper with Dipset.

#11: MIGUEL
LAYUN – Ah yes, a Mexican hero who played prominently in Europe, in
England, Portugal, and finally Spain. He hath returned to Monterrey just over a
year ago as a big name to help bolster the club's runs in both Liga MX and
CONCACAF Champions League. At age 31, he still had offers in Italy and Spain,
so him coming home to Mexico was one of those "the competition here is at
the highest levels, and I'm glad to be home" moments that the rubes eat
the fuck up. Side note: his paternal grandpa was a Lebanese immigrant to
Mexico, which means there is likely an appreciation of both tacos lengua as
well as falafel in his home. That might not mean anything to you, but that's
high level football metaphysics.

#12: LEONEL
VANGIONI – Vangioni is Argentine of Italian descent, and the ethnic
histories of different South American countries is wild, and how it still shows
itself in football so strongly. Vangioni had a number of strong seasons at
River Plate after making a name for his self playing for Newell's Old Boys. He
actually got himself a free transfer to Milan in Italy's Serie A for one
season, making 15 appearances. Summer of 2017, he signed with Monterrey to
return to this side of the Earth.

#13: RODOLFO
PIZARRO – Pizarro's a Mexican midfielder who had been with Monterrey for
two years, and actually had played with Guadalajara before that, which means he
was on the CONCACAF Champions League winning club the past two years. That
won't happen this year, because he was a big transfer from Liga MX to MLS, to
join the expansion Inter Miami club, which is a stupid fucking name for a club.
There was some lawyerball in that transfer, with Monterrey disputing the
release clause being honored correctly, so Pizarro just split last week to
Miami, fuck it. They finalized the deal earlier this week though. So when MLS
starts up and this stupid new club is getting pushed down your throat (if you
watch MLS), prepare yourself for some Rodolfo Pizarro.

#14: VINCENT
JANSSEN – I always wonder how European dudes end up in Liga MX, to be
honest. But even with that, Vincent Jannsen is even more of a mystery, a Dutch
striker who somehow ended up in Monterrey last summer, after a loan spell in
Fenerbahce when he wasn't getting time for Tottenham Hotspurs. I mean, he came
back the season before last, but they said he was injured and didn't issue him
a number, and he sat out almost the entire season. The most prominent European
in Liga MX is Andre-Pierre Gignac with Tigres (of the greater Monterrey area as
well), so the move seemed like a keeping up with the joneses type move. Janssen
gets a lot of prominent push during matches for Monterrey, but didn't really
light it up in league play like expected. He did run roughshod in Copa MX
against second team dudes with 3-digit numbers though. And he mostly looks mad
out there, which is hella funny to watch. I want every club to have a token
European in Liga MX.

14-Man Micro-Metaphysical Roster: TIGRES UANL

{tifo display the last time Copa Libertadores final was held in Mexico}

[14-Man Micro-Metaphysical Roster is a football metaphysics methodology calculating minutes played per the last 50 competitive matches for a North American football club, weighting that shit more heavily for most recent matches, and using them calculations to list the 14 players constituting the strongest psychic force on a club’s current path. This is done at Football Metaphysics Space twice a month for the Premier League clubs in England, and now I’m doing it for the top clubs in North America, two per month. Venmo me for my emotionless labor @ravenmack23.]

I'd been struggling with motivation to continue with this North American excursion through football metaphysics, because soccer in America is a such bullshit bourgeoisie affair for the most part. Plus I'm not sure people actually read words in abundance, much less some dipshit American dude's words about soccer/football when it spirals down to Liga MX and MLS clubs. But then Chicharito got signed by L.A. Galaxy, and I realized this was still important, because for all the bougie ass bullshit that surrounds American soccer - the same bullshit which defines "American" as the United States - there's still a whole world of football culture on this continent that has nothing to do with that. And Chicharito represents that so wonderfully.

Now make no mistake about it, this is a twilight of his career move, with Chicharito even referring to it on a web series clip to his parents as the beginning of retirement. Big names don't come to MLS for the competition; they come for the paycheck which far outweighs the competition. But Chicharito in his press conference referred to the fact that southern California is considered home territory for the Mexican national team, and how he's been playing in that area since he was 16. I mean fuck, that whole part of the United States was Mexico long before it was USA, which is part of why so many who are considered "illegal" immigrants don't even regard that as legitimate discourse. And I respect that.

But this episode of the North American metaphysics has nothing to do with MLS, because the second club to get covered for being prominent at continental level is, of course, south of the current border, at a club associated with one of the most prominent public universities in Latin America - Universidad Autonoma de Nuevo Leon, and their official football club, Los Tigres.

Immediately, it's interesting to note how there's two major professional franchises at the top tier of Mexican football - both Tigres and Pumas - that are the teams of universities. In the United States, this false notion of student-athletes is still enforced, even though by all means at most major American football programs this is obviously circumvented in a multitude of ways. It's a false pretense of amateurism. Meanwhile, in Mexico, they just straight up have pro teams that are associated with the university, but run separate from them. Tigres' stadium is actually inside the university complex.

In terms of successes, being I've ranked these clubs according to performances in the past decade, five of Tigres seven Liga MX titles have occurred in this decade, and they've also won a Copa MX in that time, won the North American Campeones Cup in 2018, and were runners-up in the North American Champions League three of the past four seasons. But their most prominent achievement was probably being runner-up in the South American Copa Libertadores in 2015, one of only three times where a Mexican club has made it to (and always lost in) the Copa Libertadores final.

Tigres successes have been built almost entirely by Brazilian director tecnico Ricardo Ferretti, who is in his third stint as their manager, a role he's held this time round ever since 2010, when he had been manager at Pumas, who were upset far before expectations in the playoffs, so he quit, and almost immediately returned to Tigres. Apertura 2011, they won their first title in 25 years, and it's been nothing but peaches ever since. Ferretti is not only the longest-serving manager in Liga MX, he's got seven years on second place Miguel Herrera of Club America. Ferretti is so beloved in Mexico, he's also been interim manager of El Tri twice during this time. Even those appointments have been testament to what kind of guy Ferretti is, because he's very openly stated he does not want to manage the Mexican national team, as there is a strong tradition of natives managing the squad, but has done so both occasions by agreeing to do so until the national football federation found a good long-term replacement. At this point, being most all of Tigres successes are associated with Ferretti, he has a Sir Alex Ferguson-style status, where likely he can continue coaching for as long as he wants. And though 65, the Brazilian still looks fit as fuck in that sweet white, yellow, and blue Adidas Tigres track suit. Tuca, as he's lovingly known as, probably still has a few years left in him.

And yet, global capitalism is also part of all this (of course). CEMEX was a large concrete company in Monterrey (where Tigres is located is considered part of the greater Monterrey metropolitan area), but in the '90s started expanding internationally, purchasing up large cement companies in Spain, as well as concrete factories in the USA, Panama, and then the Caribbean, South America, Asia and Africa. CEMEX purchased Tigres, and in fact celebrated its centennial as a company in 2006 with an exhibition between Tigres and Barcelona in Monterrey, a crowning achievement of footballing globalism for the Mexican brand. That CEMEX money has been integral with Tuca's vision in creating the powerhouse club. The money won't dry up anytime soon, but once Tuca does retire, it will be interesting to see what happens with the club, not unlike what we've seen with Manchester United and Arsenal in recent seasons after similar culture-building managers have retired.

So here's the top players for Tigres over the course of the past fifty competitive matches...



#1: GUIDO PIZARRO – An interesting feature of footballing metaphysics philosophy that's on high display at Tigres is the presence of a specifically defensive midfielder. In a properly flowing eleven-man side, the defensive midfielder role is key, allowing the move from back heel to FLYING THE FUCK FORWARD POSSESSED WITH SUDDEN POTENCY. Two of the top four presences on Tigres list are defensive midfielders. And at the top is Guido Pizarro, an Argentine (and also naturalized Mexican) who grew up in Buenos Aires, and came through Lanus down there. His first time at Tigres began in 2013, where in four years, he made enough of a presence known that he got a deal to play in La Liga for Sevilla. Though he performed well enough, he came back to Tigres in July of 2018, and has been back with Tuca ever since. He's still only 29, and though the core of Tigres decade of success is aging, Pizarro still seems to be in prime range for a few more years you'd think.



#2: NAHUEL GUZMAN – For the past half a decade, this big Argentine’s stern face has been a Liga MX fixture in important matches. Aperture 2015 for example, when he was GK for Tigres in the finals. The way Liga MX playoffs works is the year is split into two seasons, and each season, the top eight clubs in the table play in a torneo, each round a two-leg home-and-away, with higher seed at home in the second leg. If it ends up even on goals, the higher seed advances automatically, except in the finals, where it goes to penalties. Thus, GKs in Liga MX become far more important far more quickly than you see in European football, as shootouts happen in prominent moments a little more commonly. Guzman’s a club legend back home at Argentina’s Newell’s Old Boys club, where he was GK for nearly a decade, before coming to Mexico. At age 33, he may be hitting the twilight of his career at this level, but that’s the case with a number of players on this squad, and what they say about Ferretti himself. The Mexican football press has been ready to shovel dirt on Tigres for a couple of years. Guzman made news at the beginning of this season though for playing the first match with his hair dyed in rainbow colors. Mexican football just issued a ban on the crowd chanting homophobic chants at away GKs on goal kicks, and Guzman explained that he wore his hair in the rainbow to acknowledge that new rule, as well as the first transgender woman being signed to a First Division women’s club in January as well. It’s a pretty bold act in a horribly machismo culture, not just Mexican football but his native Argentina as well.



#3: HUGO AYALA – Hugo Ayala came to Tigres in the summer of 2010, the same time Tuca Ferretti came in this current stint, and it wasn’t long into that first year together that Ayala became a starter at central defender - a role he’s never given up in the decade since, accumulating around 350 appearances in Liga MX alone, not to mention being part of all those squads that gained continental and intercontinental renown. Ayala wears that captain’s armband firmly, and is a crowd favorite as well.



#4: RAFAEL CARIOCA – Considering Tuca's Brazilian, there's surprisingly few Brazilians on the Tigres roster. But the current one and only exception is defensive midfielder, Rafael Carioca, whose been at Tigres since 2017. Before that, outside of a five-season stint strangely at Spartak Moscow (with one loan stint in Portugal while there), he'd been entirely in Brazil as a professional. The colonial connections due to language are always interesting to see, how there's a direct flow of Brazilians to Portugal due to shared tongue, but also how Brazilians stick out in Mexico. Carioca's been key force in Tigres defense (and Latin American defensive efforts are WAY MORE PHYSICAL than European or MLS ones).



#5: ANDRE-PIERRE GIGNAC – You don't see a lot of non-Spanish speaking Europeans in Liga MX, so it's notable when you do, but nobody is more notable in this genre than Andre-Pierre Gignac, the Frenchman who's in his fifth year at Tigres. In that period, he's scored over 100 goals in Liga MX competition, and in fact the league's top scorer in both Clausura 2016 and Apertura 2018. At age 34, he's starting to slow down, but still more than deserving of that #10 kit he wears. Interestingly enough, there may be some cultural contribution to him ending up in Mexico, in very non-French-like ways, considering he was just as potent a striker when playing for Marseille and Toulouse in Ligue 1 before coming to North America. He considers himself Manouche, which is the Romani people of France, as his wife is Manouche, and he grew up in that community, living in caravans and working in markets. Early in his career, while still based in France, he told an interviewer he gave his extra clothes to his mother-in-law, who sold them in markets while still traveling in the Romani fashion. But Gignac has a ridiculously happy personality, which can be evident on the pitch, completely immersed in the moment. There's football metaphysics behind a guy like him ending up in Nuevo Leon state, Mexico.



#6: LUIS RODRIGUEZ – Rodriguez is a local boy, born and raised in Monterrey, where he played as a youth and made a couple of appearances at the senior level years ago. But he became known while at Chiapas, and joined Tigres in 2016. He can play up and down the right flank, as defender, midfielder, attacking winger, whatever, and his chill ass nature is well-known, and actually got him a few calls to the national team.



#7: JESUS DUENAS – Though almost 31, Duenas' entire professional career has been wit Tigres, having joined the club as a youth player. Since 2014, he's been their main starting central midfielder, and was instrumental to their famous successes in Copa Libertadores 2015. That same period began him getting the call for El Tri national team, mostly in friendlies, but the Mexican National Team has a policy of playing Liga MX players as hard as possible. Oddly though, Tigres success has depended on bringing in talent rather than growing it at home, as Duenas is the only Tigres youth player who has had any effect on the senior club to any extent.



#8: JAVIER AQUINO – Aquino’s a winger who’s been with the club for four years now, after having made the jump across the Atlantic for a two year tour of footballing duty in Spain, mostly for Villarreal. He was never able to catch on in La Liga or Spain’s second division while on loan, so returned to Mexico, where he’s been a component but not the key to Tigres offense the past few years.



#9: CARLOS SALCEDO – Salcedo’s a center back for Tigres who actually made the move to the United States while a youth player, from Tigres to Real Salt Lake. He played in MLS one season with them, then returned to Mexico for Guadalajara, his hometown club, although in that time he had made enough known of himself to have loans to both Serie A in Italy (with Fiorentina) and the Bundesliga (with Eintracht Frankfurt). He actually made a permanent move to Frankfurt, but was disappointing that stint, so returned to Tigres last January, a year ago, in the winter transfer window.



#10: ENNER VALENCIA – A footballing metaphysics theme that will run through Mexican clubs that you don't see in Europe is the Ecuadorian winger, born from the high altitudes, who roams the flanks like a pirate. Enner Valencia is probably one of the more famous one of this type internationally, having earned some renown while with West Ham United for three seasons. After his loan with Everton didn't earn him any new gigs in England in the summer of 2017, he came back to his home half of the globe, joining Tigres, where he's been ever since. In the 2018-19 cycle of competitions, he got 15 goals in 45 appearances, but thus far through Apertura 2019 into Clausura 2020, he's had 20 appearances without a goal. In fact, after scoring three last April (one in Liga MX play, two in CONCACAF Champions League), he's not scored. That dry spell put him on the transfer rumor board this past month, but thus far, he's remained a Tigre.



#11: LUIS QUINONES – Monterrey has a large Colombian presence historically, and in fact there's a strong tradition of cumbia music in the metropolitan area, largely due to sonideros (or DJs) who span cumbia music. One of the most famous of this scene was Gabriel Duenes aka Sonido Duenes who was essentially the DJ Screw of Monterrey, who made mixtapes of cumbia music. According to legend, he had a tape player overheat one time, and the machine started playing slow at a party, but people loved the sound and asked him to do it again. That's the legend of how cumbia rebajada was born, and Duenes still sells pirated CD mixes in Monterrey flea markets. Anyways, this all has contributed to a large presence of Colombian expats in the greater Monterrey area. Of course, Colombians are going to be present in Liga MX regardless, but they find an easier home in Nuevo Leon, definitely a strong non-Colombian empanada zone of sorts. But the weird thing with Tigres is they've had TWO Colombians with the surname Quinones in recent seasons who have been threats on attack up front, yet they're not related, and have rarely ever featured on the pitch at the same time. Julian Quinones came first, from Colombia as a youth player on the club, who started making appearances for the senior club as well, in 2016-17 seasons. That same time, Luis came to the club from Pumas, playing a bit at first, but getting loaned a couple seasons to Toluca most notably. The past year though, Luis Quinones' speed has caused Tuca Ferritta to play him more, although it's yet to translate into as many goals for Tigres as it did while he was with Toluca. With Lucas Zelarayan's transfer to MLS, and Gignac's age, Luis Quinones might get more of a chance in the coming months to become more of threat, having only scored once in Apertura 2019, early in the season. Of course, over the course of 2018-19 season, the other Quinones, Julian, got three braces in Liga MX, and he's six years younger, so maybe he shows back up. The point is, Colombians run deep in this region, so their presence on Tigres ain't going away.



#12: JORGE TORRES NILO – Jorge Torres Nilo’s a right back who came onto the club in the summer of 2010, as part of ol’ Tuca’s first batch of recruits. Torres Nilo and Ayala have been the backbone of Tigres success. In fact, most of the best Mexican clubs have a brutally stifling defense (which is sometimes outright violent) that will explode into offense quickly. Tigres’ slow start to Clausura 2020 has been blamed on lack of goals, which of course is always an issue in a sport decided by goals.



#13: EDUARDO VARGAS – Chilean winger who spent the better part of six years in Europe after leaving his home country for the first time, with stints in Italy (Napoli), Brazil (Gremio), Spain (Valencia), England (Queens Park), and finally spending two full seasons in the Bundesliga with 1899 Hoffenheim. He returned to Latin America as Tigres big signing in the January 2017 transfer window. Apertura 2017’s playoff finals was the blood feud of Monterrey and Tigres, which drew 1-1 at Tigres home. Vargas netted one of Tigres two goals (along with Francisco Meza) to give Tigres the 2-1 away win at Monterrey to be crowned Liga MX campeones against their biggest rivals.



#14: LUCAS ZELARAYAN – Zelarayan may become more famous to US soccer fans, because after five years under Ferritti's tutelage at Tigres, where he arrived from his native Argentina at age 23, he just signed a deal to move to the Columbus Crew in MLS. In his last three seasons in Liga MX, he got 2 goals (Apertura 2018), 3 (Clausura 2019), and then 4 last campaign (Apertura 2019). It's the club record transfer fee for Columbus, which also should put in context the difference between Liga MX and MLS stature, because Zelarayan was part of a group dynamic in attack for Tigres, but is being lauded as the proof of a brand new era for Columbus Crew football. That's not to disparage US football so much as to make anybody reading this shit who thinks the MLS is like just a couple big moves away from being equal to a European league (which it feels like dudes actually believe sometimes… fuckin' marks), that it's a whole lot of moves away from even being equal to Liga MX. If they ever do figure out a cross-nation league like there's been talks about, it'll be interesting to see how they work it out in terms of promotion and relegation (if they do), because they'd likely have to keep it the same number of clubs between nations, or it'd just end up being like 10 Mexican clubs, 5 US ones, and Toronto FC. That's actually a big part of why the breakdown of hosting cities for the World Cup coming to North America pisses me off. The US hasn't earned that large a percentage of the hosting, like it has commandeered. Of course, hosting a World Cup has far less to do with what you deserve and far more to do with how much money you pay the right people.