SONG OF THE DAY: On A Sunday Afternoon (kudzu'd)

I have spent years, going through all the regional hip hop scenes’ histories, painstakingly compiling all references to playing horseshoes, in honor of my father, who loved the game more than almost anything else. This has involved hours upon hours of digging through obscure record label discographies, forgotten groups that never made any noise outside of their small city, and digging through both digital and physical archives of DJs, music writers, and hip hop historians. Thus far, this is the only song on the playlist.

Sunday Slowdown Chapters 11 through 14

I realized I hadn’t put the last four chapters of the Sunday Slowdown series here on my long-time bloggerspot worldwebwide page. So let’s fix that issue.

SLOW ROLLAZ (chapter 014)

Sunday Slowdown chapter 014. Sometimes you gotta slow it down and cruise with a feel good heart, no matter how hard the world tries to make you. This is the Slow Rollaz mix, old school and new school rolas, off the 45 slabs, slowed to 33. Because sometimes it takes two hours to get 15 minutes away.

DOING 35 IN A 55 (chapter 013)

We slowing it down once again, doing 35 in a 55, letting the music play, with a touch of grey to the beard. Slow living is resistance against slow death, so we're riding down the purple highways way off the mainstream interstates, and take our damn time.

DECLARATION OF G.A.S.P. (chapter 012)

Chapter 012 of the Sunday Slowdown series is a Declaration of G.A.S.P. aka Greater Appalachian Space Phunk, declaring ourselves not just hillbilly banjo pickers. We got that electro funk resistance going on because it ain't 1863 no more.

ALL PRAISE DUE TO THE RECORD GODS (chapter 011)

Chapter 011 of the Sunday Slowdown series was just spinning through records from a weekend wander through parts unknown the day before, blessed by The Record Gods, but can't share the spots for fear of unloungers taking them over. We gotta respect the Power of Lounge.

Monday Night Rumble of The Discourse - Winter 2024

So if you are the type to fuck around on youtube, or care about the political discourse (or I guess, not care), then I was commanded to begin another 7-week series of The Monday Night Rumble of The Discourse for Winter 2024. Last week was Week 1 of the 7-week series. Tonight at 10 pm EST will be week 2. Plugging it here because I know everybody goes different places to see different things, and I'm a force of chaotic good who always forgets to scatter his nonsense in all four directions. This may end up being the last season because it's not clear if this stupid game is going to work on my computer anymore in two months (part of the side effects of using obsolete machinery beyond its intended lack of usage).

SONG OF THE DAY: Just a Moment

Slow spinning oldies this Thursday night at a diner in Charlottesville. Decided it all needed to be more of a spectacle so expect some chaos. In my mind, this means a Greater Appalachian Mothership is about to land. It will be a spectacle as fuck, and surely the six people who actually show up will love it, lol.

SONG OF THE DAY: Drive By

You should listen to more Bambu. If this sporadically active kinda music blog has taught you anything, it should be that.

SONG OF THE DAY: Dirty Laundry

I had some inane thoughts I started to write about clotheslines and laundry or whatever the fuck, but to be honest, got some bad news yesterday and still not feeling like writing my stupid thoughts down just to post a song. But somehow I still did it.

SONG OF THE DAY: Sundown (45s on 33)

A goal I have for this calendar year we are in is to add more 45s ripped at 33 speed to the body of the internet, like maybe 12 a month, because ultimately we will all die and all that will be left is the ridiculous stupid shit we did online.

SONG OF THE DAY: Goats Keep Rappening

This beat by Boogie Brown was the theme to Monday Night Rumble of The Discourse, as seen on MY PATREON (which you should totally support, if you are able). I really loved doing those Monday Night Rumbles of The Discourse, but it got tiring, not really the making of those videos but actually paying attention to The Discourse. It’s all so toxic, like drinking arsenic water, and it seems those who are invested in believing in politics actually believe you can drink up the poisonous constantly, and something good still will come from it, if you just believe. I can’t believe like that. I’m not willing to handle snakes all that much and pretend they’re not fucking snakes that ultimately will bit me. So the main reason I couldn’t keep up with doing those videos is fuck man, who wants to ingest all that much discourse voluntarily?
The track itself is amazing though, and I love it dearly. I loved it before I used it for the discourse rumbles, and I love it even more now, because every time I hear that one part, I expect my voice to come in talking about the abandoned concrete factory.

Monday Night Rumble of The Discourse - Episode 10

Made it to 10 episodes of this ridiculousness. We've expanded the field to 25, because there's too many people that deserve to be up in this bitch. Be sure to consider supporting my patreon (which supports this project).

SONG OF THE DAY: N30N M00N (chopped and screwed)

I’ve been finding a lot of abandoned trailers lately – doublewides and old singles. They’re not as glamorous for the internet-minded urban exploration crowd, who eat up taking posed pictures of dilapidated old farmhouses. They’re just shitty fucking trailers that aren’t worth shit once somebody got sick and moved away or went to live with relatives or whatever. I found one the other week where the driveway to it had literally been ripped up too, so it was just sitting up in the woods, not shit around. Only reason I could tell it was there was a bunch of daffodils and other flowers in a planned cluster in the woods up above the railroad tracks I was walking, which is usually a sign that somebody had once planted them there in that fashion. So I hacked my way through the blackberry tangles to get there.
I’ve lived in a trailer before, multiple times in my life actually, and almost bought one brand new when my marriage dissolved, which felt like a horrible idea so thankfully fell apart before it came into full reality. Trailers are rip-offs, basically applying credit scams to people who can’t afford a whole house, and making them feel like they’ve done something rich people could never do because they live in a trailer. And there’s some inadvertent truth to that, because there’s a hardened psychology that comes from living in a trailer that’s unlike any other thing, because you’re really cramped in, but separate from everything else, like out in the country or even in semi-urban trailer parks. But you also never feel all that super protected from the world outside to be honest. So you get a weird psychology to yourself.
Anyways, due to the expansion of trailer marketing (as supported by famed wealthy investor Warren Buffet, who’s basically the driving force between the growth of new mobile home sales in America, through his fake-binary of Clayton and Oakwhood Homes, both of which use the same installation and credit companies, and manufacturing base, so are essentially the same company pretending to be two competing ones), there’s a lot more abandoned trailers. There’s also a lot more abandoned malls, and as the JC Penney’s nearby were all closing, I kept circling back trying to catch mannequins on sale at closeout prices towards the end. They never got as cheap as I wanted, but in all my obsessive searching, I did figure out a couple places where mannequins were getting dumped. They weren’t as nice as the shiny JC Penney ones, but they served my purpose, and for a while I had a pile of mannequins under the house I moved into last fall. It never occurred to me to do anything other than keep them on my compound until recently when they were relaying all the tracks on both the local CSX and Norfolk Southern lines. There was a piece where they cut off the old track, piece of track about 18 inches long, which I wanted to put in my yard. But that bitch was heavy, so I couldn’t carry it the mile and a half to my car in one trip. Thus it took me five or six trips, carrying the fucking thing as far as I could before my arms started cramping up, and then tossing it into the bushes in case the railroad workers came through to collect all the pieces for scrap before I got it out of there.
This heavy duty endeavor made me realize how far I could probably carry a mannequin, especially if just walking along railroad tracks like I mostly am. So I started putting mannequins up in the abandoned trailers I’d found, generally two but sometimes three or four if the dilapidated scene in the abandoned trailer demanded it. For example, in the one without the driveway, there’s a kitchen table with chairs still but also a really big couch, all in the big open main area with insulation and raccoon shit everywhere. So I put two folks on the couch and one at the kitchen table looking towards them. But there was also a queen sized mattress and box spring still in the master bedroom at the back of the house, and I figure I should always put a mannequin in a bed, just out of general lounge principles, so I did. So that one trailer took four mannequins, which I can only fit two at a time in the trunk of my car, and that trailer was like a half mile hike from the closest car parking point. So I had to make two trips by car, both times carrying two mannequins, which then required a trip with each one, because you can’t go walking down the railroad tracks with two mannequins. A short train spraying pesticides along the tracks actually came by while I was carrying one on the second trip, and you should’ve saw the worker’s face who was spraying the chemicals out the window when he was some bearded dude with a buck naked mannequin slung over his shoulder standing beside the tracks in the middle of nowhere.
All told, I think I’ve scattered about 17 mannequins in 7 different abandoned trailers at this point. It’s exciting to think of some other weirdo out looking for shit in the middle of nowhere, who sees a trailer and thinks, “Oh cool, let me go see what’s up with that shit,” and then they get there and THERE’S FUCKING MANNEQUINS SET UP EVERYWHERE, IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. That’s gonna freak somebody the fuck out.
Sadly, I imagine eventually somebody who does it for the clout will find one of my scenes, and take a bunch of pictures, and go semi-viral on Instagram or some shit, for the mannequins in an abandoned trailer shit. Gentrifiers ruin everything, even out in the middle of nowhere. I don’t do it for the clout though; I do it for the art.

Monday Night Rumble of The Discourse - episode 8

Monday Night Rumble of The Discourse was an all women's rumble this week, after last week's finish which saw the Twitter Communist beat Super Bluecheck. President Biden signed up to be special referee for this one.

Monday Night Rumble of The Discourse - episode 7

We returned to our abandoned concrete factory repurposed as a battleground for The Discourse last night, after taking last week off in observance of the spring equinox. Comments sent in to our team complained about the lack of female representation, and the fact a woman has yet to win The Discourse. This became a theme in last night’s episode. Drop your thoughts on any of this in the comments.

Monday Night Rumble of The Discourse - episode 6

For the past six weeks, every Monday night at 8 pm EST, we've had a Monday Night Rumble of The Discourse, where a collection of political entities comprised of actual politicians and some political stereotypes do battle in an abandoned concrete factory. I've hyped it on my social media feeds but have forgotten to post it here. Well here you go - the March 15, 2021, episode of Monday Night Rumble of The Discourse.

Previous winners:

Joe Rogan Podcast fan

President Joe Biden

Antifa Black Block

Senator Bernie Sanders

Covid 19

25-Man Metaphysical Roster: Southampton F.C.

[25-Man Metaphysical Roster is a football dork methodology meant to establish a listing of players who have been most active for English Premier League teams in their past 100 non-friendly matches. Essentially, it is calculated by minutes played, but weighted towards most recent games. The end result is a listing of the 25 players in a team’s recent history who have had the largest hand on their metaphysical sporting trajectory. The English Premier League was chosen because it is the highest level of football played in an English speaking country, and I speak English. Also, it is what comes on TV here in the USA, where I fucking live. And yet still I should clarify I hate English, and also America. Thus maybe I hate myself. Should I not fail in maintaining my unpaid deadline, a new 25-Man Metaphysical Roster will appear on the 1st and 15th of every month.]

WORKING THROUGH A MISSED YEAR BECAUSE WE RE-LAUNCHING THIS BITCH ON JUNE 1ST, 2019!!!

#1: NATHAN REDMOND (up from #7 last time; also his FIRST METAPHYSICAL STAR)

#2: PIERRE-EMILE HOJBJERG (up from #11 last time)

#3: ORIOL ROMEU (down from #2 last time)

#4: RYAN BERTRAND (down from #1 last time)

#5: JACK STEPHENS (up from #6 last time)

#6: JAMES WARD-PROWSE (up from #9 last time)

#7: ALEX MCCARTHY (up from #14 last time)

#8: CEDRIC SOARES (down from #3 last time)

#9: JAN BEDNAREK (up from #20 last time)

#10: MAYA YOSHIDA (down from #5 last time)

#11: MARIO LEMINA (up from #15 last time)

#12: WESLEY HOEDT (down from #10 last time)

#13: SHANE LONG (same as last time)

#14: JANNIK VESTERGAARD

#15: YAN VALERY

#16: ANGUS GUNN

#17: DANNY INGS

#18: STUART ARMSTRONG

#19: CHARLIE AUSTIN (same as last time)

#20: MATT TARGETT (up from #24 two times ago; also previously ranked #22 for Fulham on 01-May-2019)

#21: DUSAN TADIC (down from #4 last time)

#22: MANOLO GABBIADINI (down from #17 last time)

#23: MOHAMED ELYOUNOUSSI

#24: STEVEN DAVIS (down from #12 last time)

#25: FRASER FORSTER (down from #8 last time)

25-Man Metaphysical Roster: Fulham F.C.

[25-Man Metaphysical Roster is a football dork methodology meant to establish a listing of players who have been most active for English Premier League teams in their past 100 non-friendly matches. Essentially, it is calculated by minutes played, but weighted towards most recent games. The end result is a listing of the 25 players in a team’s recent history who have had the largest hand on their metaphysical sporting trajectory. The English Premier League was chosen because it is the highest level of football played in an English speaking country, and I speak English. Also, it is what comes on TV here in the USA, where I fucking live. And yet still I should clarify I hate English, and also America. Thus maybe I hate myself. Should I not fail in maintaining my unpaid deadline, a new 25-Man Metaphysical Roster will appear on the 1st and 15th of every month.]

WORKING THROUGH A MISSED YEAR BECAUSE WE RE-LAUNCHING THIS BITCH ON JUNE 1ST, 2019!!! This is Fulham, who are relegated already.

#1: DENIS ODOI (up from #7 last time Fulham was metaphysically ranked on 01-Jul-2018; also his FIRST METAPHYSICAL STAR)

#2: TIM REAM (down from #1 last time)

#3: ALEKSANDAR MITROVIC (up from #15 last time)

#4: RYAN SESSEGNON (up from #5 last time)

#5: TOM CAIRNEY (up from #6 last time)

#6: SERGIO RICO

#7: KEVIN MCDONALD (down from #2 last time)

#8: CALUM CHAMBERS (previously ranked #19 for Arsenal on 15-Sep-2018)

#9: JOE BRYAN

#10: JEAN MICHAEL SERI

#11: MAXIME LE MARCHAND

#12: STEFAN JOHANSEN (down from #3 last time)

#13: MARCUS BETTINELLI (down from #9 last time)

#14: CYRUS CHRISTIE

#15: RYAN FREDERICKS (down from #4 last time; also previously ranked #23 for West Ham United on 01-Mar-2019)

#16: ANDRE-FRANK ZAMBO ANGUISSA

#17: ANDRE SCHURRLE

#18: ABOUBAKAR KAMARA (same as last time)

#19: RYAN BABEL

#20: FLOYD AYITE (down from #10 last time)

#21: LUCIANO VIETTO

#22: MATT TARGETT (down from #13 last time)

#23: ALFIE MAWSON (previously ranked #2 for Swansea City on 15-Jan-2018)

#24: TOMAS KALAS (down from #8 last time)

#25: TIMOTHY FOSU-MENSAH (previously ranked #19 for Crystal Palace on 01-Jan-2019)