World Cup Tanka: URUGUAY vs. PORTUGAL (Match 50)

Uruguay oddly 
seemed uninspired in group stage, 
yet undefeated 

quietly dominant, led 
by aging bastard Suarez 

despite Ronaldo's 
presence, Portugal's World Cup 
history lacking 

only twice beyond this round, 
only once with Ronaldo 

very early on, 
Cavani to Suarez back 
to Cavani - GOOOLLLLLLL

all the way across pitch, back 
and forth, beautiful combo 

Uruguay defense 
nearing six hundred minutes 
since allowing goal 

Suarez almost snuck second 
underneath haphazard wall 

then that same stifling 
defense falls asleep on short 
corner, second half 

Pepe's ugly ass heads home 
the sudden equalizer 

Ronaldo pushing 
with an urgent energy 
not seen with Messi 

but Suarez to Cavani 
strikes again, beautifully 

Muslera fumbles 
and Portugal nearly ties, 
but no - shanked skywards 

Cavani limping, helped off 
pitch leaning on Ronaldo 

Portuguese coach looks 
like '70s cop show boss, 
so damn frustrated 

I give Ronaldo credit - 
he's playing hard, not flopping 

but nothing connects - 
late minute attrition, with 
four minutes added 

dramatic corner kick wild 
sequence... Ronaldo's finished  

World Cup Tanka: GROUP B FINALE (Matches 35 & 36)

high drama in Group 
B... will Spanish dreams die by 
Berber invasion? 

Morocco only team out 
already, could play spoiler 

I've loved Iran's run 
over course of past four years - 
could this be the end? 

hard to bet against bastard 
Ronaldo (but I will root) 

rushed home riding bus 
two hours after kick-off to 
pour doogh, watch afresh 

American indiff'rence 
allowed for lack of spoilers 

assuming Spanish 
win, watching (and rooting) for 
Iran to advance 

likely to require outright 
conquest over Portugal 

passionate Persians 
looking to beat Europe 
for first time in Cup 

(can't google anything for 
fear of spoilers unleashing) 

Morocco has scored 
elsewhere; while here, Portugal 
controls possession 

teasing a goal against shook 
goalkeeper, STILL SO EARLY 

elsewhere, Spain has drawn 
even; into second pint 
of doogh already 

you can't give me enough mint 
yogurt drink nor world's football 

Iran's physical 
as fuck, not backing down, and 
counter attacking 

you can't fear football powers, 
not when draws will mean defeat 

Ronaldo complains 
with GQ cover ready 
condescending smile 

ref appears to be content 
to let game be physical 

just when it appears 
halftime may come all level, 
Quaresma connects 

Iran essentially two 
down, as Morocco ain't shit 

Ronaldo's sexy 
complaints finally work, with 
late VAR penalty 

Iranians are livid - 
infidel ref hates Islam 

SHOCKING PENALTY 
MISS BY RONALDO, WE STILL HAVE 
A MATCH, INSHALLAH 

FIFA gods aren't football gods, 
Azmoun denied penalty 

violence steadily 
increasing, expect red cards 
any minute now 

five years of Queiroz work 
twenty minutes from over 

Ronaldo never 
shall get red card, corporate 
dollars protected 

Spain falls behind elsewhere, plus 
Iran scores late penalty 

95th minute, 
almost Iranian goal 
to kill Portugal 

but not to be, as FIFA's 
run by football infidels 

World Cup Tanka: PORTUGAL vs. MOROCCO (Match 18)

seems hard to believe 
Portugal would struggle with 
this Morocco match 

despite draw, a psychic win 
over Spain gives momentum 

African nations 
have not done well, which is sad... 
Pele's promise haunts 

I love African football, 
it feels more pure to newbie 

five minutes in and 
for some reason Ronaldo's 
free on corner kick 

of course he heads it home for 
quick lead - fuckin' Ronaldo 

at this point, I hope 
for metaphysical work 
from Moroccan team 

they won't advance, so perhaps 
they paralyze Ronaldo 

much as Portugal 
has controlled, it's still one-goal 
deep in second half 

Morocco has competed, 
supporter horns blasting 

another upset 
result being teased by these 
fickle football gods 

but multiple Moroccan 
striking distance free kicks fail 

all last gasps are left 
unanswered, Portugal 
picks up the 3 points 

Allah not willing today, 
we're stuck with Cristiano 

World Cup Tanka: PORTUGAL vs. SPAIN (Match 4)

Ronaldo’s last World 

Cup? who can really say with 

an ego that large 

Portugal arrives healthy, 

looking to clutch Group B’s throat 

Spain is defending 

champion, yet suddenly 

sacked their manager 

unseen politics between 

Barca and Real Madrid 

speaking of second, 

their star Ronaldo “earns” quick 

penalty, converts 

Diego Costa answers, 

and we have a fucking game 

flopping Ronaldo, 

like a good worker, sets up 

striking Ronaldo 

Portugal reclaims the lead; 

halftime talk - “SPAIN SHOULD PANIC!” 

second half free kick 

not far from Spanish goal, and 

Costa answers back 

second chance rebound missiled 

into rippling net - we’re tied 

three minutes later, 

Nacho pinballs swerving shot 

off both posts for GOOOAAALLLLLL 

master class Spanish passing 

attempts to eat away clock 

Ronaldo fishes 

for fouls, finally getting 

one within his range 

hat trick equalizer caps 

thrilling Group B encounter