SONG OF THE DAY: Shenandoah

A dude I worked with years ago got me to listening to Bill Frisell at times, and he’s perfect for a certain vibe. But it’s also very “bakery with $4 donuts” type music. I’d love to work on a remix of Bill Frisell’s greatest hits, but with a pack of Morrises and Shiffletts arguing in the background. When I finally get it off the ground, Southern Gothicc Futurist Records is gonna be the shit! Anyways, there are zero Bill Frisell releases on 8-track tape, which tells you all you need to know. (It doesn’t actually tell you all you need to know, but that felt like a nice dramatic thing to say, especially after the $5 donut comment. Except I bet they spell it “doughnut” all the way out and shit there. Yakub is a tricky bastard.)

SONG OF THE DAY: Brass Monkey

“Brass monkey” allegedly came from the colloquialism (that means “shit that old people said”), “Cold enough to freeze a brass monkey’s balls off.” An enterprising person submitted the following in their filing for a patent for a “brass monkey” in January 1987:
SUMMARY OF THE INVENTION
The present invention is directed to a release mechanism for releasing an object when the temperature reaches a predetermined release temperature. The release mechanism may be incorporated into a novelty "brass monkey" to "emasculate" the monkey when exposed to a predetermined temperature.
The release mechanism of the invention comprises means defining a passageway for movement of an object to be released and temperature responsive means at least partially obstructing the passageway to prevent movement of the object along the passageway before the temperature of the temperature responsive means reaches a predetermined release temperature. The temperature responsive means moves to open the passageway to allow movement of the object along the passageway when the temperature of the temperature responsive means reaches the predetermined release temperature. In a disclosed, preferred form of the invention the temperature responsive means is a bimetallic strip which is fixedly supported at one end with the opposite free end of the bimetallic strip being positioned for movement toward and away from the passageway for at least partially obstructing the passageway to prevent movement of the object along the passageway before the temperature of the bimetallic strip reaches the predetermined release temperature. The free end of the bimetallic strip moves away from the passageway to open the passageway to allow movement of the object along the passageway when the temperature of the bimetallic strip reaches the predetermined release temperature. The free end of the bimetallic strip is preferably L-shaped for contacting the object to prevent movement thereof along the passageway. A non-metallic tip formed of plastic, for example, can be provided at the free end of the bimetallic strip for contacting the object. The plastic tip can be press-fitted onto the bimetallic strip.
The passageway for movement of an object to be released is inclined with respect to the horizontal in the disclosed embodiment of the invention so that release of the object from the mechanism upon reaching the predetermined release temperature is facilitated by the force of gravity. If the object to be released is at least round in cross section, a round ball is employed in the illustrated embodiment, it is able to roll under the force of gravity down the inclined passageway past the temperature responsive means when the temperature of the temperature responsive means reaches the predetermined release temperature.
The novelty "brass monkey" incorporating the release mechanism of the invention includes a base which is provided beneath the release mechanism for receiving the object released by the release mechanism. The base is designed to produce an audible sound when struck by the balls released from the release mechanism. The base can also be provided with an electrical switch means which is actuated by the ball received by the base. The electrical switch means can be used to activate other devices.
According to a further feature of the invention means are provided for adjusting the predetermined release temperature of the release mechanism. In a preferred form of the invention, this means for adjusting comprises a support for the object to be released and means for adjusting the location of the support, and hence the object thereon, relative to the temperature responsive means.
These and other objects, features, and advantages of the present invention will become more apparent from the following description when taken in connection with the accompanying drawings which show, for purposes of illustration only, one embodiment in accordance with the invention.
BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE DRAWINGS
FIG. 1 is a side view of a "brass monkey" of the invention shown partially in cross-section through the body of the monkey and illustrating the release mechanism of the invention and the accompanying base and showing two balls to be released from the body when the temperature of a bimetallic strip of the mechanism reaches a predetermined release temperature;
FIG. 2 is a top view of a portion of the release mechanism of the invention of FIG. 1 taken along the line II--II and depicting the bimetallic strip in relation to the two balls to be released from the body of the release mechanism; and
FIG. 3 is an enlarged cross sectional view of a portion of the release mechanism of the invention and illustrating two additional features of the of the invention not shown in FIG. 1 including means for adjusting the predetermined release temperature for releasing the balls from the mechanism and an L-shaped plastic tip press-fitted onto the free end of the bimetallic strip.
DESCRIPTION OF THE DISCLOSED EMBODIMENT
Referring now to the drawings, a release mechanism 1 according to the invention is shown incorporated into a novelty "brass monkey" for releasing balls 2 and 3 from a body 4 of the "brass monkey" at a predetermined release temperature through an opening or passageway 5 in the body.
More specifically, the body 4 comprises a support surface 6 and side walls 7 and 8 which define a passageway for movement of the balls 2 and 3 to be released. A temperature responsive means in the form of a bimetallic strip 9 at least partially obstructs the passageway to prevent movement of the object along the passageway 5 before the temperature of the bimetallic strip reaches a predetermined release temperature. The bimetallic strip is fixedly supported at one end in a slot 10 in the body 4 by crimping the portions of the body on either side of the slot 10 against the bimetallic strip or otherwise fastening the strip therein as by soldering, for example. The opposite free end of the bimetallic strip is positioned for movement toward and away from the passageway 5 for at least partially obstructing the passageway to prevent movement of the balls 2 and 3 along the passageway and past the strip 9 before temperature of the bimetallic strip reaches the predetermined release temperature. The bimetallic element 9 is made by welding together two strips of metal having different coefficients of expansion. For example, the two strips of metal may be invar (iron-nickel alloy) and brass. A change in temperature causes the bimetallic element or composite strip to bend an amount proportional to the temperature. Thus, when the temperature drops to a predetermined release temperature, the free end of the bimetallic strip 9 moves upwardly to the position shown in dashed lines in FIGS. 1 and 3 thereby releasing the balls 2 and 3 for movement through the opening or passageway 5 of the body 4.
Preferably, the free end of the bimetallic strip 9 is L-shaped so that the free end of the strip contacts the adjacent ball to prevent movement thereof along the passageway before the temperature of the bimetallic strip reaches the predetermined release temperature. As shown in FIG. 3 of the drawings, the L-shaped tip 11 of the bimetallic strip 9 may be formed of plastic with the tip 11 being press-fitted onto the bimetallic strip.
The support surface 6 of the body 4 which defines the passageway 5 for movement of the balls to be released is preferably inclined with respect to the horizontal. This inclination is 5° to 7° in the illustrated embodiment. With this arrangement, the force of gravity causes the balls to roll down the support surface 6 and out the opening in the bottom of the body 4 when the bimetallic strip moves away from the passageway at the predetermined release temperature.
A means 12 can be provided in the release mechanism for adjusting the predetermined release temperature as shown in FIG. 3 of the drawings. The means 12 comprises a support 6' for the balls 2 and 3 and means in the form of adjusting screws 13 and 14 for adjusting the location of the support 6' relative to the bimetallic strip. Adjustment of the screws 13 and 14 changes the spacing between the support 6' and the free end of the bimetallic strip 9. Since the amount of bending of the bimetallic strip is proportional to the temperature, changing the relative spacing between the support 6' and the free end of the bimetallic strip necessarily changes the release temperature at which the balls 2 and 3 can roll unobstructed past the free end of the bimetallic strip.
A base 15 of the novelty "brass monkey" is provided beneath the release mechanism to receive the balls released by the mechanism. Both the body 4 of the "brass monkey" and the base 15 are preferably formed of metal with the base 15 having a hollow form so as to produce an audible sound when struck by the balls released from the body 4. The balls 2 and 3 successively drop from the body 4 onto an inclined top step 16 of the base from where they progressively roll and drop through additional steps 17, 18, 19 and 20 formed on the base as shown in FIG. 1. An electrical switch 21 can be provided in the base, for example adjacent the bottom step 20 for actuation by the balls. In particular, the switch 21 is provided with a plunger located in a position where it is contacted and depressed by the ball 2 when the ball is received in the lower step 20 of the base. The electrical switch 21 can, in turn, be used to activate other devices such as a bell tone or chimes, for example. Once the balls have been dropped from the body 4 by the release mechanism, and the temperature has increased above the predetermined release temperature, the balls can be returned to the body 4 by inserting them through the bottom opening 5 in the body in which case the bimetallic strip 9 is pushed upwardly momentarily at its free end for insertion of the balls onto the support surface of the body, or the balls may be inserted in another opening, not shown, provided in the side of the body adjacent the support surface 6.
While I have shown and described only one embodiment in accordance with the present invention, it is understood that the same is not limited thereto, but is susceptible to numerous changes and modifications as known to those skilled in the art. For example, the release mechanism and base of the invention are not limited to use in a novelty "brass monkey" but could be used in other applications for releasing balls and/or a variety of other objects. For example, lightweight cylinders could be permitted to roll down the inclined support surface upon reaching a predetermined release temperature. Further, the bimetallic element in the release mechanism could be in a form other than a strip and also could be oriented so as to release an object with an increase in temperature to a predetermined release temperature instead of with a decrease in temperature to a predetermined release temperature as in the disclosed embodiment of the invention. Therefore, I do not wish to be limited to the details shown and described herein, but intend to cover all such changes and modifications as are encompassed by the scope of the appended claims.

SONG OF THE DAY: Gates of Hell

Masked Assassins always lurk around every corner, looking to chop off a true beard. True beard and fake beard discourse has always been stifled in our culture, because we live in a Great Time of Fake Beards. You see them, in fact, donning masks, and being the Secret Police lately, looking to kidnap people at work, on a “per head” bounty quota where the more they disappear people, the fatter their paycheck gets. These are fake beards, and you need not shave their face, because when they pull the balaclava down, the weakness of their bed is obvious. It is moisturized by the Yakubian propaganda they climb into through their handheld portals. A true beard is more akin to a blackberry bush, an as wild and wonderful as the worst towns in West Virginia. True beards cannot be trimmed, except by fire. This is also how a true beard’s soul is, because it is powered by heart (fire organ) and not brain (easily poisoned well of consciousness).
Thus, Masked Assassins lurk, working for the devil state, hoping to steal a true beard’s wizardly wisps of contrarian knowledge. But even if they chop it off, it’s a false victory, because the wisps have grown inward as long as they’ve grown outwards, and the visual hairs return more rapidly than a fake beard could ever hope to grow it (with all his fancy pseudo-scientific beard oil in the world). And the Masked Assassins can never chop the internal beard of a true beard. So they concentrate on poisoning more minds and growing the ranks of the false beards. But they are all weak-souled men, and they will once again scrape the false beards from their faces to appear as smooth as a baby’s ass, because they have no elderly wisdom accumulated over the generations, and desire that childlike smoothness, in both themselves and their partners. Though they appear strong right now, they are inherently weak, and a true beard will always outlive these incursions of unlounge.

SONG OF THE DAY: Don't Stop The Music (screwed & chopped)

I HAVE A DJ GIG ON JUNE 27TH, WHICH IS UNOFFICIALLY DJ SCREW DAY, AT GUAJIROS IN CHARLOTTESVILLE. I HAD BEGUN RECENTLY TO QUESTION MYSELF, AND MAYBE NOT PLAY SLOWED 45S, TO PRESENT MUSIC MORE NORMALLY, MORE LIKE A FRIDAY EVENING’S VERSION OF A SUNDAY BRUNCH CROWD WOULD LIKE. IT’S SO HARD TO GET FOLKS TO GO DO ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF THEIR DIGITAL BUBBLES, OTHER THAN GO TO WORK. AND LIKE ANYBODY PERFORMING, YOU WANT FOLKS TO ENJOY WHAT YOU DO. BUT TO BE HONEST, I CAN’T COMPROMISE THE VISION, EVEN IF NOT EVERYBODY UNDERSTANDS IT OR FEELS IT. SLOWED MUSIC IS COMMITMENT TO THE SLOWED LIFE, AND HUSTLE AND GRIND MENTALITY IS KILLING US ALL. WE ARE NOT GEARS IN A MACHINE; WE ARE BEINGS IN A BLESSED ORGANIC ASS FIELD OF CHAOS MEANT TO LACKADAISICALLY ENJOY OUR TIME. THAT TIME IS NOT MEANT TO BE A CALENDAR FULL OF PRISON BOXES, WHERE WE “KEEP APPOINTMENTS” LIKE A FUCKIN’ DOCTOR OF UNLOUNGE. TIME IS ARBITRARY, AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF IT YOU GET, IF YOU MAKE THE GOOD OUT OF AS MUCH OF IT AS POSSIBLE, THEN YOU DIDN’T WASTE IT. I MEAN LOOK, WE GOT A MISERABLE ASS 84 YEAR OLD WANNABE KING RIGHT NOW, WHO’S WASTED HIS LIFE IN PURSUIT OF GOLD PLATED DELUSIONS. I AM GOING TO DIG THROUGH THE IMMENSE AND EXTENSIVE STACKS, PULL OUT A FEW BOXES OF THE FUNKIEST BOOGIEFIED G-BODY ASS LITTLE RECORDS I GOT, AND COME FUCK IT UP FOR 3 HOURS. WORD IS BOND. DON’T STOP THE MUSIC.

SONG OF THE DAY: The Girls They Love Me (screwed & chopped)

Syrup & Soda is my absolute favorite DJ Screw tape. Nothing else even comes close, to be honest. He’s in such a zone on this one (Chapter 046 in the anti-chronological Screw discography), with a heavy old school set on Side A. But he’s not just playing the tracks, he’s fuckin’ it up on the tables, juggling “The Girls They Love Me” and “Love’s Gonna Get You” to his heart’s content. And even on Side B, when it gets to that west coast gangsta funk Screw tapes are more known for, he still sprinkles in a Slick Rick track, and fills out the end of the second side of the tape (remember, these were all originally 100-minute Maxell mixtapes) with “Juicy”. Just an absolute classic, and whenever somebody wants me to tell them where to start, I go to this one. Of course, who the fuck is gonna listen to a whole ass 100-minute mixtape, in the order it was originally released? You. You should at least. Most all his tapes are the Internet Archive.

SONG OF THE DAY: Runnin' The Underground (screwed & chopped)

I have been inactive on this site, but not in real life. Despite my inactivity, site stats continue to be through the roof. The internet is just a vast wasteland of bots scanning bots and creating statistics for other bots. Somewhere in there, one or two of us might actually connect, all the while they’re scooping data from our interactions to beam neurologically triggering ads straight to us wherever possible. It’s fucked.
All these systems are working very well, because they’re designed to break us. What’s happening with The Secret Police conducting masked kidnappings of working people from their jobs is no different. It’s those poisoned by the algorithm moving into action. At this point, the digital propaganda is like Lyme disease… it’s jumped the fence and moving unchecked. It’s hard to know if the tyrants in charge are controlling it or just suffering from it (or both). Either way, consent is being manufactured and the fog machines are rolling on high, and Chief Bromden was always right.
I suggest to you to create. But fuck shit up with what you create. Fuck monetizing your creations. Break shit with your creations. Stab devils in the eyeballs with your creations. It feels good actually. The moral high-grounders are beating the “non-violence is the only way” drum right now, but those people are boring. They have shitty taste in music, and put raisins in potato salad. Fuck them. They are the cousins to the devils (on the devils’ father’s side, too).
I hope you are alive. And if you are alive, even more than that, I hope you feel alive. And if you don’t, go fuck something up that is making you feel less than alive, and see if that relieves some of the pressure. Burn bridges where you can see the other side is full of shit. Be difficult to those who demand their lives be easy at everybody else’s expense. And keep it underground. Don’t get lost in aspirations or ambitions or a desire to monetize your creations. There’s a lot of tricks in this goddamn carnival, so don’t get conned too easily. Be fuckin’ difficult.