RAVEN MACK is a mystic poet-philosopher-artist of the Greater Appalachian unorthodox tradition. He does have an amazing PATREON, but also *normal* ARTIST WEBSITE too.

Thursday, March 27

S14: NCAA Tournament's Top Returning Scorers - Sweet Sixteen Thursday

The only real super underdog playing today is Western Kentucky, who will probably play the normal Cinderella team of getting dispatched strongly by UCLA. That's why the George Mason run two years ago was so great, because they took the Cinderella role through two weekends. Usually, shocking Sweet 16 teams are happy just to make it that far and have no real psychological attitude towards win-at-all-costs. Well, here's the top 14 college career scores in the tournament for today's four games...
#1: Tyler Hansbrough (North Carolina forward, 157 previous NCAA tournament points) - The sad thing is I do not mind a lot of the other players on UNC, but I just cannot stand Tyler Hansbrough. I grew up near Hampden-Sydney College, which is an all-boys private college and the third oldest one in America. Some of Bush's brothers went there, and it's white America's highly-privileged elite lumped together. When I was in high school, I would go there to frat parties to sell weed and pick up drunk chicks that were imported from other colleges for sexual purposes. Oftentimes this would end up in fisticuffs, more often than not multiple fists cuffing up against my defenseless head. One time, me and a friend got into a situation with eight dudes, who proceeded to beat down my friend, who had committed the infraction that offended them, tossed him down a hill, and then asked me if I wanted to fight too. I said no because there was no point. I mean, I wasn't saving face by getting my ass kicked too. (I should mention while they were beating down my boy, I was being held by three dudes, with one of them giving me occasional 'bows to the back of the head.) Hansbrough looks like all of those guys. Fuck him. I hope he gets stripper AIDS.
#2: Darren Collison (UCLA guard, 118 previous points) - I guess it is to the point in the college basketball season I can display my unlike of UCLA. They won like 38 titles in a row and I feel like they should never win another because of that. This may be construed as a sports-related form of playa haterism, but it is how I feel. I am sorry that one old dude coach is on his deathbed, but I do not feel that it means we should have UCLA NATIONAL CHAMPS! mode kick in. Shit, he probably doesn't even understand what's going on right now anyways.
#3: Chris Lofton (Tennessee guard, 115 previous points) - Lofton has not been playing up to his All-American status this tournament thus far - only 14 points in two games this year - but the Volunteers are stacked with enough top-tier players that Tennessee has advanced, although they tried to blow it against Butler. This week, Lofton is going to have to get hot or UT will probably be eliminated. Of course, even if he does pick it up, going against Louisville's endless bench and possibly the UNC juggernaut doesn't bode well for the Volunteers. I'd be shocked if they win two more games.
#4: JaJuan Smith (Tennessee guard, 98 previous points) - Has helped cover the lack of Lofton production, as part of the Tennessee Smith brigade.
#5: Luc Richard Mbah a Moute (UCLA guard/forward, 92 previous points) - The French-African finally played again after injury on Sunday, and contributed 2 points.
#6: Ty Lawson (North Carolina guard, 81 previous points) - Lawson is back to full-speed and gives Carolina a ridiculous fastbreak potential. They've scored more than 100 points both games, which is not very collegiate at all. Seriously, after the first weekend, I find it hard to believe anyone can take them out without them completely self-imploding.
#7: Josh Shipp (UCLA guard/forward, 79 previous points)
#8: Wayne Ellington (North Carolina guard, 70 previous points)
#9: Juan Palacios (Louisville forward, 69 previous points) - Louisville is your standard Rick Pitino team - ten deep where no one really needs to get over 30 minutes playing time. Palacios was the high scorer in their first round game, but when he wasn't as fire hot the second game, they just ran other players through. I am hoping for a Louisville/UNC regional final because that game will be crazy hyper, and would be as good as a national championship in many years.
#10: Josh Duncan (Xavier forward, 64 previous points) - I don't know shit about Xavier, and I think I've tuned them out for the most part listening to all the games on the satellite.
#11: Derrick Low (Washington State guard, 62 previous points) - See above, but change it to Washington State. I actually don't even think I know what the Washington State nickname is... no it's Cougars, I remembered.
#12: Wayne Chism (Tennessee forward, 61 previous points) - Chism was my favorite player on Tennessee last year because, of all their players, he looks to me most like a guy who would kick it with 8-Ball & MJG. And to be honest, that's my personal litmus test as to whether a top-tier Tennessee athlete - football or basketball, but usually football - should be appreciated or not. This is also part of the reason I have always hated Peyton Manning.
#13: Edgar Sosa (Louisville guard, 57 previous points) - Sosa is the heir apparent at point guard for Pitino's team, and does so sometimes now. Mostly, he comes off the bench as part of their second team and throws up the points.
#14: Ramar Smith (Tennessee guard, 56 previous points) - Smith Brigade's power player number two.

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