RAVEN MACK is a mystic poet-philosopher-artist of the Greater Appalachian unorthodox tradition. He does have an amazing PATREON, but also *normal* ARTIST WEBSITE too.

Saturday, March 29

S14: NCAA Tournament's Top Returning Scorers - Elite Eight Saturday

Didn't even really watch any games last night because by the time I got home it was only the late games on and who the fuck cares about #1 seeds blowing motherfuckers out? I watched a documentary on Henry Darger instead. Henry Darger is a really interesting dude who was a quiet janitor in Chicago and when he died they found a 15,000 page novel he had written about people enslaving children but seven sisters rose up and engineered a rebellion and saved humanity. The story of Henry Darger is about a thousand times better than the documentary was. It had me passed out on the couch in no time. And I don't know who Dakota Fanning's parents are, but they need to stop letting that kid do such creepy shit. Anyways, here's todays top scorers coming into the two regional finals...
#1: Tyler Hansbrough (North Carolina forward, 175 previous NCAA tournament points) - My man D-Mo explained it to me best as to why Hansbrough is so easy to mock... he looks like a trout coming to the top of the water all the time.
#2: Darren Collison (UCLA guard, 122 previous points) - Collison fouled out early Thursday night and gave me hope that the Hilltoppers could fulfill my dream of a WKU/Davidson final (although I never checked my bracket to see if that was even feasible beyond fantasy). I do not care for UCLA much, and now that someone pointed out to me their stupid golden C on their jerseys, I like them even less. I can't really think of much reason to ever root for a Xavier team, but I guess I will tonight.
#3: Luc Richard Mbah a Moute (UCLA guard/forward, 99 previous points) - Been a fairly non-existent contributor for the most part these first three games, which brings up an interesting point. It seems like we are almost to the end, but in actuality, these teams have played three games and will need to play three more to win the title, and three way tougher games than the previous three. Anyways, that little aside took up any actual commentary I might've wanted to make here. Man, I hope UCLA doesn't advance.
#4: Ty Lawson (North Carolina guard, 93 previous points) - With Lawson seemingly up-to-100% again, it's hard to imagine UNC being stopped. I heard some schmuck on the radio playa hating them, saying they hadn't beaten anybody in the first two rounds and were bound for downfall. Fuck that dude. I also find it odd how I'm actively rooting for UNC now. I used to hate them. I think living near UVA has tarnished my zealotry for Cavalier basketball, who apparently lost about $150,000 by participating in the initial College Basketball Invitational, which nobody has heard of.
#5: Josh Shipp (UCLA guard/forward, 93 previous points)
#6: Josh Duncan (Xavier forward, 90 previous points) - Duncan's been Xavier's fire this tourney, and he has that look of someone who's aged beyond his years by harsh experiences, the type of guy who has the easy potential to be gully as fuck, but starts out with that goofy happy-go-lucky attitude.
#7: Wayne Ellington (North Carolina guard, 83 previous points) - Ellington has been their leading scorer this year in the tournament. Really, with just Hansbrough, Lawson, and Ellington, UNC would be tough to beat, but they actually have their standard revolving cast of high school blue-chippers to complement those three. It kinda sucks to be a fan of anyone else in the ACC.
#8: Juan Palacios (Louisville forward, 72 previous points) - I like Palacios, mostly because I like black Hispanic athletes, so long as they don't play baseball. Black Hispanics in baseball is too prevalent, but in other sports I like to imagine they're secret communists looking to infiltrate America from inside the sports entertainment machine, yet our opposing powers of easy pussy and flashy clothes are too strong for them to resist, and they end up being the type of former communist who owns chinchilla hatwear.
#9: Kevin Love (UCLA center, 68 previous points) - Love is their freshman sensation, but he looks like a fucking zombie. I have enjoyed pretending to myself he talks like Solomon Grundy as he goes up for bumbly oversized whiteboy dunks.
#10: Drew Lavendar (Xavier guard, 62 previous points)
#11: Deon Thompson (North Carolina forward, 61 previous points) - See revolving cast comment from #7. Thompson's a big part of that.
#12: Earl Clark (Louisville guard/forward, 60 previous points) - In the couple of times I've seen Louisville play, Clark has been the one guy they have who all of a sudden will just take over the game. That's something lacking in Pitino's standard "I've got ten guys who I can mix and match at will" gameplan. There's little desire for gamebreakers to go play in such an offensive maelstrom.
#13: Edgar Sosa (Louisville guard, 59 previous points) - He's only gotten 12 points this season though. Sosa has to be a disappointment this year for Louisville, as he hasn't been the point guard they thought he was going to be, and he's not really contributing much this tournament. I think he fouled out with like 2 points the other night, and I saw at least the last two fouls and both were stupid.
#14: Danny Green (North Carolina guard/forward, 58 previous points) - I can't believe I'm rooting for UNC. I think if Louisville had any other color than that dark red, I could get behind them. It comes down to completely superficial reasoning like that at this point in the tournament, once every team you care about is eliminated. The UNC/Louisville game has the potential to be crazy though. The ACC championship between UNC/Clemson I listened to on the radio at work and was the most entertaining game I've ever heard on the radio before. I will have the satellite radio tuned into this one for the same potential reasons.

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