I get this still through a bootleg hook-up, although I have very little if any interest in the professional wrestling anymore. Putting all these old 12-pack reviews I did in previous years on different websites has been sort of embarrassing, but it is what it is. I used to love wrestling as a kid, and then again as an adult once I first discovered tape trading and I could acquire all the retarded shit I could conceive, usually by just exchanging other retarded shit I already had. But wrestling has gotten harder to digest, especially when filtered through the internet and it’s inherent overly critical home experts (which, to be fair, seem to pop up regarding anything, not just wrestling; basically the internet ruins everything). But when an older dude in wrestling dies, I enjoy the fuck out of Dave Meltzer’s (he’s the guy that does the Wrestling Observer) collections of half-truths, legends, and alleged historical facts. Mr. Meltzer very regularly condemns the rampant drug use of many wrestlers, but I often find myself wishing he told the life story of people with the gradual build-up and final moment of a good well-drugged drunken shit-talker. In other words, Meltzer tells a shitty story, but he knows more than any other wrestling dork, like a microfiche machine of grapplefighting minutiae, so it’s always an enjoyable read when someone has died and you get to hear all the wacky stories.
Anyways, this issue is about dead Gary Hart, who I had seen in some wrestling documentary a while back, and my wife was laughing at him not having teeth, and then we realized he looked just like my dead father in toothless face factor, just having a baldhead instead of a ponytail like my dad did. It was weird, like watching my dad resurrected talking about how many wrestlers died so young. Well, in reading the story of his life, I found out all his teeth had been knocked out in a plane crash, and according to Dave Meltzer’s obit, Hart was basically half-crippled and naked, but he swam back and forth and saved two of the other three people on the plane crash. Of course, most older wrestlers did lots of drugs and drinking and spent lots of time telling stories to each other, so in actuality it might not’ve been anything like that. But Dave Meltzer respects the wrestling business and believes these old-timer’s stories to a tee, and repeats them posthumously. I enjoy them, but also feel like the old carny-assed wrestlers are still working us from the grave, with Dave Meltzer being an unknowing mark accomplice in the process. But whatever, I enjoy the obits, so I’m thankful so many wrestlers die. I think Meltzer has like a couple of Tributes books available like he’s a real writer at bookstores, collecting all his disorderly obituaries. I’m sure it’s like $150 or some retarded overblown price though, because his stupid newsletter is overpriced and obviously never proofread outside of clicking spellcheck before he hits print.
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