RAVEN MACK is a mystic poet-philosopher-artist of the Greater Appalachian unorthodox tradition. He does have an amazing PATREON, but also *normal* ARTIST WEBSITE too.

Monday, October 26

S14: Best College Football Teams

So let us go through the teams that domineer lesser opposition on the often unbalanced field of the collegiate football.

#1: SIOUX FALLS COUGARS (8-0, 47.625 avg. margin of victory, #1 last week) - NAIA's top-ranked team was not challenged at all hosting Dakota Wesleyan, and they stomped through another week of the schedule, 59 to 7. They won't be tested until the last regular season game of the week against conference rival and fellow small college powerhouse Morningside.

#2: MORNINGSIDE MUSTANGS (7-0, 40.429 avg. margin of victory, #2 last week) - Closest game of the year for Morningside, only beating Midland Lutheran, 38 to 27, which was actually a strong comeback as they were down 21 to 6 at half on the road, but the pride of bumfuck Iowa came through yet again, to remain undefeated, hold down their #5 NAIA ranking, and try to set up the showdown with Sioux Falls.

#3: LINDENWOOD LIONS (7-0, 40.000 avg. margin of victory, #3 last week) - A week off for the Lions, and the team they line up against this week, Benedictine College, is not that good at all. Not much change at the top of the Bully List this week.

#4: MONMOUTH FIGHTING SCOTS (8-0, 39.250 avg. margin of victory, #4 last week) - A solid 51 to 14 win on the road at Lake Forest keeps the Fighting Scots as the most super destructive of opposition in NCAA Division III football.

#5: ST. XAVIER COUGARS (9-0, 36.333 avg. margin of victory, #7 last week) - The NAIA Cougars set a record with most offensive yards ever in a game and fucking whoop ass on Iowa Wesleyan, 66 to 6, and move up a couple notches in this useless thing I do on Monday nights.

#6: WISCONSIN-WHITEWATER WARHAWKS (7-0, 34.714 avg. margin of victory, #5 last week) - Beat Wisconsin-River Falls, 38 to 14, as they continue their march through the Wisconsin Intercollegiate Athletic Conference on their way to the NCAA Division III playoffs. Except, the team they play this week on the road, Wisconsin-Stevens Point, is undefeated in the WIAC as well.

#7: WITTENBERG TIGERS (7-0, 31.857 avg. margin of victory, #6 last week) - A solid 28 to 7 win over Carnegie-Mellon keeps them undefeated, but the two-time Division III national champions slide ever so slightly down the Bully List.

#8: CASE WESTERN RESERVE SPARTANS (7-0, 31.571 avg. margin of victory, #11 last week) - A strong crushing of Hiram College, 63 to 14, boosts the Spartans three spots up the Bully List, and also, as you'll see tomorrow if you actually look at all this stupid shit I do retardedly with my sparse free time, helped Hiram College get back on the Shit List.

#9: WESLEY WOLVERINES (7-0, 31.000 avg. margin of victory, #8 last week) - Wesley could only beat Webber, 34 to 7, at home, and slipped a spot here from last week. I have actually invested enough time in these stupid things thus far this year that I'm excited to follow the Division III playoffs (as well as the NAIA ones) once they start in a few weeks.

#10: MOUNT UNION PURPLE RAIDERS (7-0, 30.857 avg. margin of victory, unranked last week) - The perennial Division III powerhouse, and current #1 team, that at one point had won like 105 out of 108 games or some ridiculous shit like that, finally cracks the list this year on the strength of their 56 to 0 rout of Wilmington College at home last weekend. Mount Union is to NCAA's Division III as USC, Florida, and Texas are to Division I if you combined all three teams together. Mount Union hardly ever loses. Whiteboys got game.

#11: NORTH ALABAMA LIONS (9-0, 29.889 avg. margin of victory, #10 last week) -
Riding the high of their first ever #1 ranking in Division II football, the Lions stormed into Valdosta State last week and roughed them up, 62 to 27, to hold down the top of the hill in NCAA second class... well third if you count the Football Championship Subdivision as the second class.

#12: TEXAS LONGHORNS (7-0, 28.286 avg. margin of victory, #13 last week) - By virtue of their 41 to 7 ass-stomping of Missouri, they solidify their spot on this list as the most dominant of college football's major programs, and then have to hit the road to defend that crown this week at Oklahoma State.

#13: OTTAWA BRAVES (7-0, 27.429 avg. margin of victory, unranked last week) - Another NAIA team cracks the countdown on the back of a 54 to 13 win over St. Mary's, which was just enough following their 79 to 6 win over Tabor two weeks ago, to make the Bully List. Plus, they are #8 in the NAIA rankings.

#14: CINCINNATI BEARCATS (7-0, 27.000 avg. margin of victory, unranked last week) - The by default best team in the depleted Big East Conference sneaks into the last spot this week after stomping Louisville, 41 to 10 .

Gone From This List From Last Week: St. Francis Cougars (lost to Missouri S&T, 37 to 39), Florida Gators (only beat Mississippi State, 29 to 19, second close win in a row, thus decreasing their margin of victory average), Lambuth Eagles (beat Bethel, 19 to 16, and slipped off the Bully List radar).

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