RAVEN MACK is a mystic poet-philosopher-artist of the Greater Appalachian unorthodox tradition. He does have an amazing PATREON, but also *normal* ARTIST WEBSITE too.

Tuesday, November 3

S14: Worst College Football Teams

Here are the still the worst college football teams left in the ranks...

#1: TEXAS COLLEGE STEERS (0-9, 42.111 avg. margin of defeat, #1 last week) - Lost 28 to 20 last week hosting the Southwestern Assemblies of God University, which had not won a game before that, so Texas College may have blown their best chance at not going 0-fer the year.

#2: SOUTHERN VIRGINIA KNIGHTS (0-7, 39.143 avg. margin of defeat, #3 last week) - Had the week off to let that 65 to 0 loss to Gardner-Webb percolate a little while before travelling to Webber this week. Southern Virginia only plays two home games all year long, for some reason. Probably, they don't want to watch them at home.

#3: BECKER HAWKS (0-9, 37.667 avg. margin of defeat, #2 last week) - Oh man, hosted Castleton this past week, who is in their inaugural year of football, and lost a shoot-out, 49 to 44, meaning, with one last game left against Husson, the Hawks are probably gonna wrap up 0-10.

#4: ROCKFORD REGENTS (0-8, 37.500 avg. margin of defeat, #4 last week) - A 32 to 6 loss to Benedictine keeps Rockford down, heading into their road game at equally bad Maranatha Baptist Bible College this weekend.

#5: ANNA MARIA CATS (0-9, 36.889 avg. margin of defeat, #7 last week) - They ended their first season of football hosting Gallaudet last weekend, and losing 56 to 7. Now, there is only next year, and hoping not too many teams ahead of them on this list get a win to move them up to one of the worst college football teams in all divisions.

#6: HIRAM COLLEGE TERRIERS (0-8, 34.375 avg. margin of defeat, #8 last week) - A somewhat respectable 38 to 6 home loss to Ohio Wesleyan, who looked as if they could put a severe stomping on Hiram. I guess at this point, you have to feel sorry for a team still without a win. The Terriers have two more shots, both on the road, at Wabash and at Oberlin.

#7: TRINITY INTERNATIONAL TROJANS (0-10, 33.700 avg. margin of defeat, #12 last week) - A solid 48 to 12 loss at Malone helped the Trojans of Trinity International University shoot up the Shit List five spots. They have only one more game against Walsh to solidify how bad they truly can be.

#8: LOCK HAVEN BALD EAGLES (0-9, 33.667 avg. margin of defeat, #13 last week) - A 47 to 6 home game loss to Slippery Rock helped the longtime inept Lock Haven team shoot five notches up the Shit List as well. It really is too bad they don't get to play Cheyney this year.

#9: MARANATHA BAPTIST BIBLE COLLEGE CRUSADERS (0-8, 33.375 avg. margin of defeat, #6 last week) - A 19 to nothing shutout road loss to Lakeland, though bad, was close enough to help them move down three spots. But this week, it's all about Rockford coming to town next weekend, and I am sure Watertown, Wisconsin, will be rocking with Jesus freaks excited that two never-won teams will come into town, but only one will leave still without a victory.

#10: NEWPORT NEWS APPRENTICE SCHOOL BUILDERS (0-7, 32.571 avg. margin of defeat, #5 last week) - At Webber, Apprentice only lost 17 to 14, helping themselves not seem so ghastly. Only two games left, both at home, and one against Southern Virginia in two weeks. Things are looking up for the Apprentice School.

#11: IDAHO STATE BENGALS (0-9, 31.889 avg. margin of defeat, #14 last week) - The road game this past week against Montana State was supposed to be Idaho State's easier game of the coming weeks, yet they dropped it 41 to 10. Now they get to go to Missoula this weekend to take on the undefeated Montana Grizzlies, a I-AA powerhouse for years now. By the way, in true football nerd fashion, I will now call it Division I-A and I-AA. Fuck all that BCS and FSBCS nonsense.

#12: DANA VIKINGS (0-9, 31.111 avg. margin of defeat, #11 last week) - 0-9, 31.111 avg. margin of defeat, #11 last week) - Before last weekend against Concordia, Dana had not held a team under 35 points this year. They kept Concordia's offense in check, only allowing 13 points. Their own offense didn't help any though. In fact, the only score they got was a safety by the defense, to lose 13 to 2.

#13: RICE OWLS (0-8, 30.625 avg. margin of defeat, unranked last week) - Rice actually had the week off last weekend, but by virtue of other teams not being as bad as they usually are, the worst team in Divsion I-A football crept into the bottom part of this Shit List this week.

#14: CULVER-STOCKTON WILDCATS (0-8, 30.625 avg. margin of defeat, #10 last week) - A heartbreaking 20 to 15 home loss to Graceland College last week for the Wildcats of Culver-Stockton, leaving only two more chances to get off the goose egg.

Gone From This Last Week: New Mexico Highlands Cowboys (on Halloween day in Las Vegas, New Mexico, the Cowboys beat the Fort Lewis Skyhawks, 39 to 35).

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