I have not drank alcohol in seven days, and soda in six, but have been drinking coffee a lot more at night, mostly to find something other than water to put in my body. I am actually bored with liquids. But the additional caffeine at night has had me up late, but I can feel the fatigue inside my body underneath the fake alertness buzzing through my bloodstream, so there’s a sort of zombie-like removal from what my body is doing, similar to alcohol but very different, because with alcohol your body starts to have minor revolts against the authoritarian rule of the brain, so then the brain starts throwing wacky new rulings out to the body to entertain the masses of molecules, and then it just spirals away from that until hopefully something shuts down the entire process and you wake up safely at home the next day.
I am trying to train my brain to sleep upon command when I lay down, but caffeine harshes that out. I experimented with wild lettuce tincture to counter off the caffeine of coffee, but that leaves me feeling goopy-minded in the bed wide awake, looking on the other side of the pillow for a cold spot nineteen times, shaking the bed all around, bothering the ol’ lady, so on and so forth.
I’ve also tried drinking tea, like cups of warm tea, to take the place of other liquid indulgences, but when you are 37 and realizing you shouldn’t be drinking like you once did, and you are sitting there at 10:30 on a Thursday night in your goddamned Christmas tree pajamas drinking a warm cup of chocolate hazlenut tea, everything inside you will scream at you for being a goddamned old fucker, especially when you always have in the back of your head that if there were time machines, old school you would kill now you if they met you, or at least laugh at you and steal something while you weren’t looking. Seems like most of the time when it comes to time travel people conjure up traveling backwards, but if I was me and had a time machine, I’d go to the future to see when I died, and then I’d just keep going into the future to kill a future me from every year possible, just to create as much chaos in the holographic universe as possible, because if we have time machines then we must have four dimensions not just three. I actually have an entire novel based on that concept I’ve been outlining from time to time, and I hope to flesh it out and actually write it before young me from the olden days with his Chevy Nova junkyard time machine gets around to killing the me that is the me in this experience with this blog right now. Although I guess there’s a bunch of mes with this blog scattered throughout, except I’m only one of them. That’s the problem with being a 3-dimensional being in a 4-dimensional universe. Talk about not seeing the big picture.
You know what I hate about universal health care? That shit ain’t universal, only American. Them dudes are always lying, probably because they are in on the big picture of the 4th dimension. Fuckers. I think I’m gonna wind down this caffeine buzz doing some leisurely reading through The Poor Man’s James Bond again.
STEAL “International Player’s Anthem”
NEXT UP: It wouldn’t be a J.J. Krupert countdown without some obscure ass west coast track from an old Screwtape!
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