RAVEN MACK is a mystic poet-philosopher-artist of the Greater Appalachian unorthodox tradition. He does have an amazing PATREON, but also *normal* ARTIST WEBSITE too.

Sunday, March 20

S14: NCAA Tournament Top Returning Scorers - Third Round Sunday

Short and sweet today because I am running late and pretending it's still 9 am when I post this...
#1: KYLE SINGLER (Duke Senior forward; 178 previous points in NCAA tournament) - With the graduation of Jon Scheyer last year, Singler became college basketball's Most Likely To Be a Huge Fucking Asshole In Real Life.
#2: NOLAN SMITH (Duke Senior guard; 151 previous tourney points) - Duke's token black guy of choice role has been challenged by that wonder freshman who decided to come back in time to maybe get some highlights in to go pro with.
#3: JAJUAN JOHNSON (Purdue Senior forward/center; 136 previous tourney points) - VCU plays Purdue, and I like JaJuan, but for today, fuck him. Fuck the Big Ten. Actually, yesterday, the only games power conferences won were against other power conferences. If George Mason and VCU can pull it off today, it would prove the power conferences are full of shit, have a tyrannical grip on at-large berths, and are basically the Gaddhafi of collegiate sports, although I like Gaddhafi more than the power conferences. You see when he was made Prime Minister of Africa and had like 19 big-assed buxom dark-skinned chicks standing behind him while he wore a gold robe? Pure style.
#4: E'TUAN MOORE (Purdue Senior guard; 133 previous tourney points) - See above.
#5: ISAIAH THOMAS (Washington Junior guard; previous tourney points) - Thomas is the dagger thrower left in the tourney, and still has another year left. Being the Pac-10 is a lesser power conference, should he return for his Senior year, the Huskies should be the best of the west next year.
#6: RICK JACKSON (Syracuse Senior forward; 77 previous tourney points) - Double 0 players are always great because they have gone beyond having a normal zero to having two of them. Although there was a guy on Kansas who had this a few years back, and I hated it because the number font looked stupid.
#7: MARCUS MORRIS (Kansas Junior forward; 70 previous tourney points) - Speaking of Kansas, still hoping for a Morris twins/Plumlee twins fight of some sort.
#8: WILLIAM BUFORD (Ohio State Junior guard; 69 previous tourney points) - Will not speak on Ohio State. Not important to me nor relevant to actual college basketball. Big Ten ball is light enough, but Ohio State is like a second-rate Calipari's Kentucky, getting big time recruits, taking one shot at it, having to reload constantly.
#9: DAVID LIGHTY (Ohio State Senior guard/forward; 69 previous tourney points) - Well, I guess they also keep a Senior white boy on tap to keep to keep the inherently racist blue collar unemployed Ohio fanbase happy.
#10: JON DIEBLER (Ohio State Senior guard; 66 previous tourney points) - Or maybe this is the white guy. I can't remember, and I'm not gonna look it up. Nobody's paying me and I'm hongry for a pancake.
#11: ROBBIE HUMMEL (Purdue Senior forward; 49 previous tourney points) - Poor Robbie Hummel. The end of Purdue's bench is probably shaped to his ass cheeks after the past two years.
#12: SCOOP JARDINE (Syracuse Junior guard; 46 previous tourney points) - SCOOP! I hate Syracuse and hate Jim Boeheim and generally hate upstate New York to be honest with you. But I will never ever speak a harsh word towards a little black dude nicknamed Scoop. Never.
#13: LEWIS JACKSON (Purdue Junior guard; 46 previous tourney points) - See Purdue shit above. They are my enemy today, although not on my free TV, and satellite radio cut itself off the other day with a minute left in the George Mason game (on purpose probably), so I will be streaming radio audio from the internet, and if it's super close, watching the last minute on my stupid phone, so that it don't eat up all my bandwidth for the day.
#14: TYLER ZELLER (North Carolina Junior forward; 43 previous tourney points) - On Friday, another UNC whiteboy paint presence goofball was born, with Zeller dropping 32 points on whatever it was they were playing that day. He's not quite as deer-in-the-headlights looking as Tyler Hansbrough, and not as mindless basketball robot looking as Eric Montross. But he's still a stupid looking fucker.

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