45s on 33 – #3: “Sunrise”

I am nearing the end of a ridiculously large project to write nearly 1200 sonnets in freestyle mode while they also wove heroic crowns as well. I’m kinda sad I’m almost to the end, though probably won’t fuck with doing that sort of writing so much afterwards. I have contemplated a super heroic crown where there are fourteen heroic crowns which also compose a super heroic crown for the end of the book. I’ve outlined a couple different things roughly, because something that nonsensical and extremely formed in this age of masturbatory free verse brains should have some moralistic story. I always end up going back to birds as the characters though, probably because of my great regard for Conference of the Birds by Attar of Nishapur. That guy is the shit, tapped in on crazy level. It is strange, because I self-publish these assorted things, and to a large extent nobody gives a fuck, though I do have small pockets of solid supporters (which I appreciate greatly of course), but for the most part I am what you would call “obscure”. But I know I’m tapped into some shit most people aren’t tapped into, not like in some weird egotistic way but just through the sheer heavy volume of practice I put into it. Writing nearly 1200 sonnets means you’re gonna write some crazy fucking wild style sonnets that might could be remembered for some decades if you somehow escape obscurity. Not sure I’ll escape it, but it’s nice to know I’m putting in the work.

That being said, I get bored by the allegedly creative works I see around, and honestly get resentful when I see some of the shit that gets heavy dollar support. I know it’s a game, and you have to play it a certain way to achieve that, and I’m not good at playing games as I’m usually pretty fucking consumed by the projects themselves, generally more than one at a time. So I don’t really think about what I do in comparison to others that are doing it now (generally, but not always). So I think the super heroic thing would be pretty difficult puzzle of poetry to solve, and I think of Attar’s Conference of the Birds as an inspiration. I don’t think I’ll ever be tapped in like he was (which makes sense, you’re talking one of the all-time most tapped in motherfuckin’ poet-philosophers there was), but there’s nothing wrong with setting some shit like that as a goal. For me, that’s a lot more motivational than trying to get online journals or random ass poetry mags publish vanity poems if I know the right editor. I don’t know, this world is a strange one, spinning on some external validation shit all the time. It affects me too. Gotta keep focused on those internal quests though, strive for master peace.