RAVEN MACK is a mystic poet-philosopher-artist of the Greater Appalachian unorthodox tradition who publishes zines & physical books & electronic books & music & photography & digital art & just generally whatever feels necessary to survive this deluded earth thru Rojonekku Word Fighting Arts survival systems (Version 69, establish 14 Feb 1973). Comments encouraged.

Monday, July 11

DIRTBOT 69000 BABEL CODEZ: first expedition

THIS BEGAN AS A SOMEWHAT CONDESCENDING EMAIL FROM A SNOBBISH PRO WRESTLING FAN THAT WAS SENT TO THAT ALLAH-FORSAKEN DEADSPIN SIGHT A FEW YRS AGO AND THUS MADE INTO A QUIRKY & WITTY INTERNET POSTING AT THE TIME, HELPING TO FURTHER THE CAUSE OF GENTRIFICATION OF THE INTERNET. AS I AM WONT TO DO FROM TIME TO TIME, I TOOK THE TEXT OF THE EMAIL AND SMASHED IT INTO GOOGLE TRANSLATE, FROM ENGLISH TO ARABIC, THEN FROM THAT ARABIC TO POLISH, THEN FROM THAT POLISH TO WELSH, THEN FROM THAT WELSH TO ENGLISH. HERE IS YOUR POETRY FOR TODAY: 

The story is set some time after the deposit of ECW, when a group of very talented wrestlers to perform in front of tens of thousands of independent wrestling programs in gyms High School in front of 50 people.
 I love ECW and I was a big fan of Steve Corino and his grip OID School King. Then it was on display at the local high school, my address, my brother-in-law and I decided to go. We show up, not knowing what to expect. They set up in the middle of a ring shitty plastic chairs surrounded by basketball. The ability to 2000. Probably 50 people there. Do not even need to use the stalls. And depression. The most frustrating from the crowd, comprising 50 members, maybe five to Juggalos - Crazy Clown Clown Posse devotees full of grease paint.
 Sitting in the first row and shout abuse at runtime. "It was Fiqir- GOT! (Applause, applause, applause, applause, applause)", for example. Small worms breath. I want to part of the ceiling fell on them.
 Juggalos and guided by brutal, I call the blue hair, because, well, he had blue hair silly. The four other children are obviously stupid. I mean, like, you might not be able to read stupid. Blue Hair It is clear that the most intelligent and daring than five, and therefore the leader. The biggest boy I call Slim because it is like a 6-foot, but it is grown in a man's body yet, but believes that there is a strong man. blue hair tends more than slogans and assholery year.
 Very good show indeed. Some players call it, and some wrestlers hunting hungry for a chance to sing in mind more. Finally, comes the main event. I was wondering whether it can Corino, used to show the largest, will be sent by post. Oh, no. Put on a virtuoso performance. He worked very hard. This puts everything by himself. We are really trying to get some fun. I expect him to put in the game 15 minutes superficial, but refers to the 30, and it takes several large bumps, sweating heavily. This works so severe, as if the crowd is 50,000 people. I know it sounds exaggerated, but it was kind of right and inspire art for art and performance.
 This is impressive, especially when you consider that these fuckers some crazy shit screaming in his face when he is not singing "Jug-GA-LO! Jug-GA-LO!" Yes, this is a show all about you, shitheel.
 Corino until the game ends. There is applause, even from just hate chest hair. I Corino spent, covered in sweat, and bows and leaves the ring and went to his desk GIRL selling more hockey jerseys. That's when it happens. blue hair being dropped altogether suddenly, as if going to the bathroom, or to one of the other tables Girl gladiator. But -clearly planned in advance - it turns on a dime, jumping and shouting next Corino in his ear: "Corino in a bundle of firewood!" Corino, anger, turned as if to measure. Dance blue hair, smiling. Slim, inspired by his boss and said, "Oh, Corino want to throw away?" Corino and loans, and ready to swing at it
 And then I saw that in turn activate the Steve Corino. It's tired, sweaty, irritated. He lay on the performance of his life in front of 50 people ungrateful absurd. Now some mouthbreather overgrown going to hit him? OH HELL NO. Corino grabs the child. He put his front edges. Fucking shit out starting fail it.
 Three other children, which of course he was going to attack Corino as well, suddenly have big eyes and mind. This guy is in good condition, pissed off, and even if not the rest of the crowd jumped to help, will be able to take all five of them easily.
 Wait, do not say five? blue hair smiling like the Cheshire cat and disappeared into the crowd. He had planned it all together, it seems to know his friends would take the dumbest ass kicking him. The other three, and see Bounce leader, peace quickly too. For the rest of us, we just stood there, watching Steve Corino bombing of the child until he holes. Some of us are cheering. Some of us approval. This is not exactly the one we are trying to stop him.
 The next day, I looked up Corino Internet. I wrote him an email thanking him for his outstanding performance, he said that all they really want to do what he did, and told him that if he has any legal problems as a result, I can confirm happy for him, that Juggalos shooting first, so I tell you.
 I got an email a nice back thanked me. It was signed "good luck, SC."

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