25-Man Metaphysical Roster: Huddersfield Town A.F.C.

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[nice kits from last season's successful promotion campaign;

nice tattoo as well - "fairy tail" is my favorite]

[25-Man Metaphysical Roster is a football dork methodology meant to establish a listing of players who have been most active for English Premier League teams in their past 100 non-friendly matches. Essentially, it is calculated by minutes played, but weighted towards most recent games. The end result is a listing of the 25 players in a team’s recent history who have had the largest hand on their metaphysical sporting trajectory. The English Premier League was chosen because it is the highest level of football played in an English speaking country, and I speak English. Also, it is what comes on TV here in the USA, where I fucking live. And yet still I should clarify I hate English, and also America. Thus maybe I hate myself. Should I not fail in maintaining my unpaid deadline, a new 25-Man Metaphysical Roster will appear on the 1st and 15th of every month.]

Huddersfield also got promoted, a rare instance of a “Town” not “City” making to Premier League. And they look to have survived. Also lolol despite Bob Bradley’s dreams, David Wagner, Huddersfield Town’s manager, is the greatest American manager in EPL history. That shit’s funny to me. No blurbs because this was snuck in at a later date.

#1: Christopher Schindler

#2: Aaron Mooy

#3: Tommy Smith

#4: Elias Kachunga

#5: Chris Lowe

#6: Rajiv van La Parra

#7: Jonathan Hogg

#8: Danny Ward

#9: Nahki Wells

#10: Michael Hefele

#11: Philip Billing

#12: Jonas Lossi

#13: Mathias Jorgensen

#14: Tom Ince

#15: Collin Quaner

#16: Mark Hudson

#17: Dean Whitehead

#18: Martin Cranie

#19: Izzy Brown

#20: Joe Lolley

#21: Laurent Depoitre

#22: Kasey Palmer

#23: Danny Williams

#24: Jack Payne

#25: Joel Coleman