25-Man Metaphysical Roster: Huddersfield Town A.F.C.

[25-Man Metaphysical Roster is a football dork methodology meant to establish a listing of players who have been most active for English Premier League teams in their past 100 non-friendly matches. Essentially, it is calculated by minutes played, but weighted towards most recent games. The end result is a listing of the 25 players in a team’s recent history who have had the largest hand on their metaphysical sporting trajectory. The English Premier League was chosen because it is the highest level of football played in an English speaking country, and I speak English. Also, it is what comes on TV here in the USA, where I fucking live. And yet still I should clarify I hate English, and also America. Thus maybe I hate myself. Should I not fail in maintaining my unpaid deadline, a new 25-Man Metaphysical Roster will appear on the 1st and 15th of every month.]

WORKING THROUGH A MISSED YEAR BECAUSE WE RE-LAUNCHING THIS BITCH ON JUNE 1ST, 2019!!! This would’ve been the December 1, 2018, write-up for Huddersfield Town, who sadly ended up getting relegated, so this might’ve been my last chance ever to write about them. RIP Huddersfield.

#1: CHRISTOPHER SCHINDLER (same as last time Huddersfield Town was metaphysically ranked on 15-Dec-2017, thus also his SECOND METAPHYSICAL STAR)

#2: AARON MOOY (same as last time)

#3: JONAS LOSSI (up from #12 last time)

#4: MATHIAS JORGENSEN (up from #13 last time)

#5: JONATHAN HOGG (up from #7 last time)

#6: RAJIV VAN LA PARRA (same as last time)

#7: CHRIS LOWE (down from #7 last time)

#8: FLORENT HADERGJONAJ

#9: TOMMY SMITH (down from #3 last time)

#10: PHILIP BILLING (up from #11 last time)

#11: STEVE MOUNIE

#12: TERENCE KONGOLO

#13: LAURENT DEPOITRE (up from #21 last time)

#14: TOM INCE (same as last time)

#15: ELIAS KACHUNGA (down from #4 last time)

#16: ALEX PRITCHARD

#17: COLLIN QUANER (down from #15 last time)

#18: SCOTT MALONE (previously ranked #21 for Fulham on 01-Jul-2018)

#19: DANNY WILLIAMS (up from #23 last time)

#20: MICHAEL HEFELE (down from #10 last time)

#21: DANNY WARD (down from #8 last time; also previously ranked #25 for Cardiff City on 15-Jun-2018)

#22: ERIK DURM

#23: NAHKI WELLS (down from #9 last time)

#24: JOE LOLLEY (down from #20 last time)

#25: JOEL COLEMAN (same as last time)