RAVEN MACK is a mystic poet-philosopher-artist of the Greater Appalachian unorthodox tradition. He does have an amazing PATREON, but also *normal* ARTIST WEBSITE too.

Wednesday, May 15

25-Man Metaphysical Roster: Southampton F.C.


[25-Man Metaphysical Roster is a football dork methodology meant to establish a listing of players who have been most active for English Premier League teams in their past 100 non-friendly matches. Essentially, it is calculated by minutes played, but weighted towards most recent games. The end result is a listing of the 25 players in a team’s recent history who have had the largest hand on their metaphysical sporting trajectory. The English Premier League was chosen because it is the highest level of football played in an English speaking country, and I speak English. Also, it is what comes on TV here in the USA, where I fucking live. And yet still I should clarify I hate English, and also America. Thus maybe I hate myself. Should I not fail in maintaining my unpaid deadline, a new 25-Man Metaphysical Roster will appear on the 1st and 15th of every month.]

WORKING THROUGH A MISSED YEAR BECAUSE WE RE-LAUNCHING THIS BITCH ON JUNE 1ST, 2019!!!
#1: NATHAN REDMOND (up from #7 last time; also his FIRST METAPHYSICAL STAR)
#2: PIERRE-EMILE HOJBJERG (up from #11 last time)
#3: ORIOL ROMEU (down from #2 last time)
#4: RYAN BERTRAND (down from #1 last time)
#5: JACK STEPHENS (up from #6 last time)
#6: JAMES WARD-PROWSE (up from #9 last time)
#7: ALEX MCCARTHY (up from #14 last time)
#8: CEDRIC SOARES (down from #3 last time)
#9: JAN BEDNAREK (up from #20 last time)
#10: MAYA YOSHIDA (down from #5 last time)
#11: MARIO LEMINA (up from #15 last time)
#12: WESLEY HOEDT (down from #10 last time)
#13: SHANE LONG (same as last time)
#14: JANNIK VESTERGAARD
#15: YAN VALERY
#16: ANGUS GUNN
#17: DANNY INGS
#18: STUART ARMSTRONG
#19: CHARLIE AUSTIN (same as last time)
#20: MATT TARGETT (up from #24 two times ago; also previously ranked #22 for Fulham on 01-May-2019)
#21: DUSAN TADIC (down from #4 last time)
#22: MANOLO GABBIADINI (down from #17 last time)
#23: MOHAMED ELYOUNOUSSI
#24: STEVEN DAVIS (down from #12 last time)
#25: FRASER FORSTER (down from #8 last time)

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