WAS CONTEMPLATING FRIDAY IN FALL FEELINGS OF
FUCK-IT-NESS, WITH A PERSONAL HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE.
40 YRS AGO I WOULD’VE BEEN 6, SO PROBABLY JUST
COMING HOME FROM SCHOOL, FUCKING OFF, HOPING THINGS WEREN’T CRAZY.
30 YRS AGO I WOULD’VE BEEN AMPED UP FOR DRUNKEN
AND DRUGGED DEBAUCHERY. FALL WAS ALWAYS A GREAT TIME TO DROP ACID, AND HIDE OUT
ON LOGGING TRAILS WITH FRIENDS, BEING YOUNG AND STUPID AND BEAUTIFUL AND TRYING
TO RUSH AGE EVEN DEATH.
20 YRS AGO WOULD’VE HAD A BABY AND ALSO WORKED AT
THE COPY SHOP HALF A DAY ON SATURDAYS SO LIKELY STILL DRANK TO GET DRUNK BUT
NOT SO MUCH I WAS A NON-FUNCTIONING ALCOHOLIC.
10 YRS AGO WOULD’VE BEEN SELF-EMPLOYED THUS MOSTLY
UNEMPLOYED AND ALSO VERY MUCH A POUNDER OF A 12-PACK A DAY, LIKELY AT HOME,
WITH THREE CHILDREN NOW, AND MAN I’M SO FUCKING THANKFUL I AM WHO I AM NOW NOT
WHAT I WAS ALL OF THOSE OTHER THENS, ALTHOUGH ALL OF THAT MADE ME WHAT THIS IS
NOW.
I WONDER WHAT WILL BE TEN YEARS FROM NOW?
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