The only time people really kill themselves in a river on purpose is by diving off of a high high bridge way the fuck up in the sky. Rivers are mostly known for baptismal rebirths if you go to drown something there. And even if secular, rivers are a hot spot for power of lounge escapades which strengthen the soul even if you are not committed to believing in god or gods or goddesses or spiritual forces at metaphysical levels in any way or shape or form or none of those. You just go to the river and wash away the world's bullshit. If I were a giant rich asshole, I'd waste my money by taking long boat trips on the longest rivers in the world, definitely the Nile and Congo Rivers in Africa, definitely the Amazon, and even if I don't end up a giant rich asshole, it'd be great to float down the entirety of the Mississippi on a boat. Do they do that? Can I get on a boat in Minnesota and go all the way to New Orleans? I don't want a fucking cruise boat either; I want what's basically a privately run Econolodge on floating steel barge, where even though I'm a boat somebody is selling drugs three doors down. I am of the class of human being where it's not a real vacation unless somebody is selling drugs three doors down. I mean, are we vacating life or just living in sheltered oblivion? We're vacating life you assholes. Sheltered oblivion is no way to travel the entirety of a giant fucking river that's been fouled up by human's industrial bullshit yet somehow still maintaining an innate beauty as the artery of existence on this 8-ball planet.
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