Tuesday, May 30
#99 RAP TAPES: No One Can Do It Better
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Friday, May 26
#100 RAP TAPES: Gettin' It (Album Number Ten)
Too Short is an underrated genius of rap, but there were a few albums there after his move from Oakland to Atlanta where he seemed sort of unsure of himself and kind of played it safe with "beeyotch" heavy songs and cameo appearance by obscure Dangerous Crew allies. This is one of those albums, also Too Short's "retirement" record, although he's retired more than Terry Funk by this point, and currently is the motherfuckin' shit like Funk in ECW in '97. If you had to pick out a Too Short album, I could give you four or five to think about buying before even looking at this one.
Tuesday, May 23
100 RAP TAPES: Let My Tape Rock Till My Tape Popped
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Wednesday, May 17
Death Valley Driver Video Review #157 Hype!
DVDVR #157
This is the David Von Erich Memorial issue. The cover stays fly and was done by me motherfucker, fucking around with photoshop like every half-assed web design bartender who ever lived and is gonna set up somebody's webpage and get paid but never does.
Tuesday, April 25
Death Valley Driver Video Review #156 Hype!
DVDVR #156
DVDVR came out a few weeks back, with a bunch of crap about the Best of '80s WWF wrestling, which is like being a hot paralyzed girl in a wheelchair.
Monday, March 13
Wrestling Tanka - Set Seven
[Honky Tonk Man]
Punk Rock Wayne Ferris -
most dramatic change was to
a bitter old coot.
Could've been Jerry Lee to
Lawler's Elvis, but fell short.
~~~~~~~
[Nature Boy Jesus Christ]
The mantle of bleach
blonde tresses is a crown of
genius carny thorns.
Blade job stigmata is the
essence of wrestling's real soul.
~~~~~~~
[Video Package]
"The Anvil Chorus"
made for perfect videos
for Link and Sweetan.
Verdi's strings accented the
head-first dives and piledrivers.
~~~~~~~
[LEGDROP!]
The greatest moment
of impact - one inch before
the legdrop connects.
A cacophony of marks
drowns out the one, two, three slaps.
~~~~~~~
[Mid-card]
Mike Jackson's stubble
on the back of your neck as
the sleeper takes hold...
Eyelids shut, hearing the bell
ring, the crowd cheering calmly.
~~~~~~~
[Cauliflower Alley Cats #2]
Many workers die old
and alone, blankets spread on
arthritic kneecaps.
Gimmick plaques balanced on the
mantle, waiting to be hung.
~~~~~~~
[Cowboy Heels]
Black Bart chose to buy
a new duster instead of
resoling his boots.
An outlaw has an image
to uphold - wild long hair helped.
Punk Rock Wayne Ferris -
most dramatic change was to
a bitter old coot.
Could've been Jerry Lee to
Lawler's Elvis, but fell short.
~~~~~~~
[Nature Boy Jesus Christ]
The mantle of bleach
blonde tresses is a crown of
genius carny thorns.
Blade job stigmata is the
essence of wrestling's real soul.
~~~~~~~
[Video Package]
"The Anvil Chorus"
made for perfect videos
for Link and Sweetan.
Verdi's strings accented the
head-first dives and piledrivers.
~~~~~~~
[LEGDROP!]
The greatest moment
of impact - one inch before
the legdrop connects.
A cacophony of marks
drowns out the one, two, three slaps.
~~~~~~~
[Mid-card]
Mike Jackson's stubble
on the back of your neck as
the sleeper takes hold...
Eyelids shut, hearing the bell
ring, the crowd cheering calmly.
~~~~~~~
[Cauliflower Alley Cats #2]
Many workers die old
and alone, blankets spread on
arthritic kneecaps.
Gimmick plaques balanced on the
mantle, waiting to be hung.
~~~~~~~
[Cowboy Heels]
Black Bart chose to buy
a new duster instead of
resoling his boots.
An outlaw has an image
to uphold - wild long hair helped.
Death Valley Driver Video Review #155 Hype!
DVDVR #155
Another DVDVR out, with a highly disturbing cover. Only thing I did was meander my way through an old Smoky Mountain Wrestling show. Some very good shit in this issue though.
Wednesday, February 8
Wrestling Tanka - Set Six
[The Ragin' Bull]
Manny Fernandez
silenced all doubters with The
Flying Burrito.
Blue collar mustache, macho
rattail dyed blonde for some flash.
~~~~~~~
[Kiwi Mastermind]
Warlord Jonathon
Boyd's Commonwealth Army was
an expat's pipe dream.
Running around, condemning
earth salt Southerners as "Yanks".
~~~~~~~
[Hardcore]
A stiff chairshot to
the head - sure beats working at
Wal-Mart 'til you die.
Sad paralyzed vet greeters
sell the compassion angle.
~~~~~~~
[Minnesota Wrecking Crew]
I dreamt that I was
stretched by Gene Anderson; I
puked, then he hugged me.
His smell was thick with liquor
sweat and cigar tobacco.
~~~~~~~
[The Sheik #2]
The Original
Sheik strode into a drugstore,
bought seven pencils.
Pulling crisp dollars from a
brown wallet, no scene was caused.
~~~~~~~
[Road Journal]
The notebook full of
amounts spent on hotels, gas
and food brings sadness.
Often, it takes many miles
to dull the gloss of young dreams.
~~~~~~~
[Mazatlan]
Cheap heat in border
towns. Change thrown in the ring gets
divvied up fairly.
Dollars, quarters and pesos
passed around like aging whores.
Manny Fernandez
silenced all doubters with The
Flying Burrito.
Blue collar mustache, macho
rattail dyed blonde for some flash.
~~~~~~~
[Kiwi Mastermind]
Warlord Jonathon
Boyd's Commonwealth Army was
an expat's pipe dream.
Running around, condemning
earth salt Southerners as "Yanks".
~~~~~~~
[Hardcore]
A stiff chairshot to
the head - sure beats working at
Wal-Mart 'til you die.
Sad paralyzed vet greeters
sell the compassion angle.
~~~~~~~
[Minnesota Wrecking Crew]
I dreamt that I was
stretched by Gene Anderson; I
puked, then he hugged me.
His smell was thick with liquor
sweat and cigar tobacco.
~~~~~~~
[The Sheik #2]
The Original
Sheik strode into a drugstore,
bought seven pencils.
Pulling crisp dollars from a
brown wallet, no scene was caused.
~~~~~~~
[Road Journal]
The notebook full of
amounts spent on hotels, gas
and food brings sadness.
Often, it takes many miles
to dull the gloss of young dreams.
~~~~~~~
[Mazatlan]
Cheap heat in border
towns. Change thrown in the ring gets
divvied up fairly.
Dollars, quarters and pesos
passed around like aging whores.
Confederate Mack Issue 50 Hype!
You probably know the deal. $3.00 by mail or $3.50 by paypal (PO Box 569 Scottsville, VA 24590 or raven mack at earth link dot net). Always entertaining, never duplicating, half playa haitian, half expatriatic southern-american, zine nonsense. Issue 50 was all movie reviews done while imbibing alcohol, and it was accumulated over a couple of years, and when I first got it back, I hated it, but the feedback from those who held it in their own homes was that it was some funny shit. And I should probably stop drinking so much. Here's what's in that issue...
ALCOHOLIC MOVIE VIEWING THEMATIC ISSUE - it's an all double feature movie review while drinking alcohol issue.
MALT LIQUOR MOVIE REVIEW THEMATIC DOUBLE FEATURE - what started, watching Maximum Overdrive and Death Race 2000, drinking forties.
MILLER HIGH LIFE DOUBLE FEATURE MOVIE REVIEW THANG - this one is 40s of Miller champagne beer and watching Disco Godfather (starring Rudy Ray Moore) and Terminal Island (starring Magnum P.I.).
TWO MOVIES AND A TWELVE-PACK OF WHATEVER'S IN THE FRIDGE STILL - hodgepodge alcohol consumption and watching Deathsport (the "follow-up" to Death Race 2000) and Django (greatest western ever).
TRES LUCHADORES & MAS CERVEZA FOR PELICULA - thanks to the hook-up from Blockhead Dan, I was in the lucha flick mode, but I couldn't follow close enough through shitty VCR tracking, so I ended up watching some dollar store DVDs of Final Comedown (starring Billy Dee Williams when he was young and sexy) and Mitchell (starring Joe Don Baker when he was young and sexy).
TAKE THIS COCK AND FIGHT IT - late night bullshit watching Take This Job & Shove It and then Cockfighter, yet another visually beautiful Peckinpah serving
MISTERIOS EN LOS BERMUDES TAKE TWO - filled out the issue actually watching the Bermuda Santo, Blue Demon, & Mil Mascaras movie, which may be one of the greatest movies I've ever seen in my life.
ALCOHOLIC MOVIE VIEWING THEMATIC ISSUE - it's an all double feature movie review while drinking alcohol issue.
MALT LIQUOR MOVIE REVIEW THEMATIC DOUBLE FEATURE - what started, watching Maximum Overdrive and Death Race 2000, drinking forties.
MILLER HIGH LIFE DOUBLE FEATURE MOVIE REVIEW THANG - this one is 40s of Miller champagne beer and watching Disco Godfather (starring Rudy Ray Moore) and Terminal Island (starring Magnum P.I.).
TWO MOVIES AND A TWELVE-PACK OF WHATEVER'S IN THE FRIDGE STILL - hodgepodge alcohol consumption and watching Deathsport (the "follow-up" to Death Race 2000) and Django (greatest western ever).
TRES LUCHADORES & MAS CERVEZA FOR PELICULA - thanks to the hook-up from Blockhead Dan, I was in the lucha flick mode, but I couldn't follow close enough through shitty VCR tracking, so I ended up watching some dollar store DVDs of Final Comedown (starring Billy Dee Williams when he was young and sexy) and Mitchell (starring Joe Don Baker when he was young and sexy).
TAKE THIS COCK AND FIGHT IT - late night bullshit watching Take This Job & Shove It and then Cockfighter, yet another visually beautiful Peckinpah serving
MISTERIOS EN LOS BERMUDES TAKE TWO - filled out the issue actually watching the Bermuda Santo, Blue Demon, & Mil Mascaras movie, which may be one of the greatest movies I've ever seen in my life.
Tuesday, February 7
Confederate Mack Issue 49 Hype!
Stupid stupid zine, but it'll make you shoot cum out your nose, laughing so hard. It is available for $3 by mailbox (PO Box 569, Scottsville, VA 24590) or for $3.50 by paypal (raven mack at earth link dot net). Here's the rundown of what's in this issue...
DELINQUENT THOUGHTS OF A THOUSAND MINDFRAMES - stream of conscious bits and pieces that I originally intended to make the whole issue of, but stopped about halfway through.
CONFEDERATE MACK MAILBAG - got a VERY interesting letter from someone, which made me proud that budding unabombers love me so much, because I don't want them to blow my fingers off.
SUBURBAN COMMUNITIES OF MINDFRAME - wrote for my friend's activist zine which a bunch of anti-WTO hippie anarchists read, and my piece is sort of designed to make them feel weird about how closed-minded their open-mindedness is.
DEAD MEN & JUNKYARDS - from the last issue of Carbon 14, about a funeral back home I went to and junkyards in general and why I love having brokedown shit in my yard.
OBSCENITY, POWER, & PSYCHOLOGICAL DARWINISM - sort of sprung from the Max Hardcore thread on some message board, about him, about pornography, government, and just generally how perverted we seem to be (not meaning perverted like pissing in girls mouths, but perverted in what we concern ourselves with.
WORKINGMAN 12/YANKEEFIED BOSSMAN 13 LIST - 12 good things with tangents and 13 shitty things with tangents, I love doing these things and it's usually the best insight into where my stupid mind is resting at at any given time.
DELINQUENT THOUGHTS OF A THOUSAND MINDFRAMES - stream of conscious bits and pieces that I originally intended to make the whole issue of, but stopped about halfway through.
CONFEDERATE MACK MAILBAG - got a VERY interesting letter from someone, which made me proud that budding unabombers love me so much, because I don't want them to blow my fingers off.
SUBURBAN COMMUNITIES OF MINDFRAME - wrote for my friend's activist zine which a bunch of anti-WTO hippie anarchists read, and my piece is sort of designed to make them feel weird about how closed-minded their open-mindedness is.
DEAD MEN & JUNKYARDS - from the last issue of Carbon 14, about a funeral back home I went to and junkyards in general and why I love having brokedown shit in my yard.
OBSCENITY, POWER, & PSYCHOLOGICAL DARWINISM - sort of sprung from the Max Hardcore thread on some message board, about him, about pornography, government, and just generally how perverted we seem to be (not meaning perverted like pissing in girls mouths, but perverted in what we concern ourselves with.
WORKINGMAN 12/YANKEEFIED BOSSMAN 13 LIST - 12 good things with tangents and 13 shitty things with tangents, I love doing these things and it's usually the best insight into where my stupid mind is resting at at any given time.
Death Valley Driver Video Review #154 Hype!
DVDVR #154
A new DVDVR is up, with a nice write-up on great matches of the year, thus far, by Phil Schneider, who tricks me into wanting to watch wrestling yet again. I didn't do much in this one, as I've lost my smile of late. Wrestling seems too stupid, or too gay, or just not worth the effort. Just like hip hop needs a new Wu-Tang, wrestling needs a new Sabu. Or I need someone to mail me a Necro Butcher DVD.
A new DVDVR is up, with a nice write-up on great matches of the year, thus far, by Phil Schneider, who tricks me into wanting to watch wrestling yet again. I didn't do much in this one, as I've lost my smile of late. Wrestling seems too stupid, or too gay, or just not worth the effort. Just like hip hop needs a new Wu-Tang, wrestling needs a new Sabu. Or I need someone to mail me a Necro Butcher DVD.
Wrestling Tanka - Set Five
[CLAWHOLD! #2]
A black glove clamps tight
to a bloody forehead. The
fans cheer in dismay.
The heel's finisher tempts their
worst nightmares to become truth.
~~~~~~~
[Cauliflower Alley Cats]
Old workers say they
never watch RAW. Only their
TVs know for sure.
Aged carny hearts will always
patter for one last payday.
~~~~~~~
[The Bruiser]
Dick the Bruiser could
lick any wimp in the joint;
he drank up his beer.
Shoulders heavy with a chip
might mouth off, no more than once.
~~~~~~~
[Saito/Patera]
Wrestlers want their food;
stone sailing through fast food glass
shatters the night air.
Cops arrive, unaware of
the hefty fight awaiting.
~~~~~~~
[Captain Redneck]
Dick Murdoch could bump
like a pinball, be a real
goer in the ring.
Legit tough guy laying down
easy for the sake of show.
~~~~~~~
[Piper Promo]
How did Piper break
that bottle on his own head?
He just did, that's all.
Skills learned in barroom bets don't
need gimmicks nor trickery.
~~~~~~~
[WWC]
A cuspidor full
of cocaine made the trip to
Puerto Rico nice.
Jacked eyes watch for knife-wielding
fans while biting Colon's head.
A black glove clamps tight
to a bloody forehead. The
fans cheer in dismay.
The heel's finisher tempts their
worst nightmares to become truth.
~~~~~~~
[Cauliflower Alley Cats]
Old workers say they
never watch RAW. Only their
TVs know for sure.
Aged carny hearts will always
patter for one last payday.
~~~~~~~
[The Bruiser]
Dick the Bruiser could
lick any wimp in the joint;
he drank up his beer.
Shoulders heavy with a chip
might mouth off, no more than once.
~~~~~~~
[Saito/Patera]
Wrestlers want their food;
stone sailing through fast food glass
shatters the night air.
Cops arrive, unaware of
the hefty fight awaiting.
~~~~~~~
[Captain Redneck]
Dick Murdoch could bump
like a pinball, be a real
goer in the ring.
Legit tough guy laying down
easy for the sake of show.
~~~~~~~
[Piper Promo]
How did Piper break
that bottle on his own head?
He just did, that's all.
Skills learned in barroom bets don't
need gimmicks nor trickery.
~~~~~~~
[WWC]
A cuspidor full
of cocaine made the trip to
Puerto Rico nice.
Jacked eyes watch for knife-wielding
fans while biting Colon's head.
Thursday, February 2
Wrestling Tanka - Set Four
[Satanic Sullivan]
Sullivan's ink toss
stained Florida folks' sense of
family duty.
The Mulligan clan tried to
make things right: frontier justice.
~~~~~~~
[The Sheik]
The Sheik pointed up
at places we didn't like,
poking prejudice.
To ask if all Gods are one
is worse than a fireball.
~~~~~~~
[Gordon Solie's Voicebox]
Solie's cigarettes
gave his voice the raspy edge
of serious sports.
Regular belts of Smirnoff
vodka didn't hurt either.
~~~~~~~
[Ages]
Wild Red Berry would
never carry a cell phone;
The Missing Link would.
Text messaging match results
lacks the proper characters.
~~~~~~~
[MSG Streetfight]
I thrilled to Slaughter/
Sheik in MSG, rightly
so. Were you born yet?
Memories of physical
events can't be burned to disc.
~~~~~~~
[Terry Funk]
Funk's punches are like
Chinese calligraphy, bold
strokes of unique art.
His blood takes a watercourse
path south across facial scars.
~~~~~~~
[Indie Lament]
Hot dogs and soda
as a payday, four-hour drive
back: paying your dues.
Too much pop country drivel
on the FM radio.
Sullivan's ink toss
stained Florida folks' sense of
family duty.
The Mulligan clan tried to
make things right: frontier justice.
~~~~~~~
[The Sheik]
The Sheik pointed up
at places we didn't like,
poking prejudice.
To ask if all Gods are one
is worse than a fireball.
~~~~~~~
[Gordon Solie's Voicebox]
Solie's cigarettes
gave his voice the raspy edge
of serious sports.
Regular belts of Smirnoff
vodka didn't hurt either.
~~~~~~~
[Ages]
Wild Red Berry would
never carry a cell phone;
The Missing Link would.
Text messaging match results
lacks the proper characters.
~~~~~~~
[MSG Streetfight]
I thrilled to Slaughter/
Sheik in MSG, rightly
so. Were you born yet?
Memories of physical
events can't be burned to disc.
~~~~~~~
[Terry Funk]
Funk's punches are like
Chinese calligraphy, bold
strokes of unique art.
His blood takes a watercourse
path south across facial scars.
~~~~~~~
[Indie Lament]
Hot dogs and soda
as a payday, four-hour drive
back: paying your dues.
Too much pop country drivel
on the FM radio.
Death Valley Driver Video Review #153 Hype!
DVDVR #153
Yeah, here's the most recent DVDVR, with a bunch of nonsensical rambling by me about working and workers and all that usual workingman hooha.
Wednesday, February 1
Wrestling Tanka - Set Three
[Russian Nightmare]
Nephew Nikita's
Communist clothesline was a
symbolic sickle.
Cold War waned as his baby
face turn grew - chicken or egg?
~~~~~~~
[Television Titles]
TV title belts
were old school infomercials,
meant to sell house shows.
If you can't win the belt in
fifteen minutes, try next week.
~~~~~~~
[Boy From NYC]
Raised by a gypsy,
Boogie kept his beard braided
and his hair unshorn.
A red Cadillac and a
custom trike kept him free, man.
~~~~~~~
[Strong Armed Tactics]
Tables set up for
arm wrestling challenges were
meant to get broken.
Delightful plunge into your
well of kayfabe destiny.
~~~~~~~
[Starrcade '83]
Piper/Valentine
chained like angry animals
'til grudges subside.
Atavastic savagery,
blood trickles into eardrum.
~~~~~~~
[Highspots]
Simple moonsaults pop
crowds - this is mistaken as
causing emotion.
Function abandoning form,
skills learned from cold VCRs.
~~~~~~~
[Memphis Mayhem]
Wildfire waits under
the ring, nursing Millers as
the night grows louder.
Peeing into cans before
Lawler gets the big beatdown.
Nephew Nikita's
Communist clothesline was a
symbolic sickle.
Cold War waned as his baby
face turn grew - chicken or egg?
~~~~~~~
[Television Titles]
TV title belts
were old school infomercials,
meant to sell house shows.
If you can't win the belt in
fifteen minutes, try next week.
~~~~~~~
[Boy From NYC]
Raised by a gypsy,
Boogie kept his beard braided
and his hair unshorn.
A red Cadillac and a
custom trike kept him free, man.
~~~~~~~
[Strong Armed Tactics]
Tables set up for
arm wrestling challenges were
meant to get broken.
Delightful plunge into your
well of kayfabe destiny.
~~~~~~~
[Starrcade '83]
Piper/Valentine
chained like angry animals
'til grudges subside.
Atavastic savagery,
blood trickles into eardrum.
~~~~~~~
[Highspots]
Simple moonsaults pop
crowds - this is mistaken as
causing emotion.
Function abandoning form,
skills learned from cold VCRs.
~~~~~~~
[Memphis Mayhem]
Wildfire waits under
the ring, nursing Millers as
the night grows louder.
Peeing into cans before
Lawler gets the big beatdown.
Carbon 14 #27 Hype!
Carbon 14 website
There's a new issue of Carbon 14 that should be glossifying indie record store shelves soon enough, with the usual assortment of nonsense that they have. Gotta say I'm pretty proud to have a shitty column about demo derbies in the same magazine as an interview with Rudy Ray Moore. They will also start doing print reviews with the next issue, most likely with me doing that shit since I'm stupid enough to do so, so if you do some crappy zine or some shit like that, mail it to the fine folks at Carbon 14 and I'm sure I'll eventually get to see it and make fun of you.
Death Valley Driver Video Review #152 Hype!
DVDVR #152
I've been neglecting this blog, mostly because computers don't get my dick hard like they once did, especially when dressed in a sultry blog, but here's a link to an old DVDVR from a month or so back. I reviewed some TNA and waxed on Eddie Guerrero dying, making smarks think I was an uncaring asshole. Fuckin' people are too sensitive most of the time. And that's coming from a guy who puts fuckin' haiku on a blog.
I've been neglecting this blog, mostly because computers don't get my dick hard like they once did, especially when dressed in a sultry blog, but here's a link to an old DVDVR from a month or so back. I reviewed some TNA and waxed on Eddie Guerrero dying, making smarks think I was an uncaring asshole. Fuckin' people are too sensitive most of the time. And that's coming from a guy who puts fuckin' haiku on a blog.
Monday, November 7
MX-du Renga #2
funky stinkin' goat
makes the break for the pokeberry
purple mouth and fur
some folks cook pokeweed in pots
vinegar calming the taste
where the kitchen soothes
to understand its meaning
an apron's worn space
curving the waist of love dirt
filling emptying the sink
dishes stack three high
sunday morning quick clean-up
for scrambled egg pan
bloody mary celery
eases sunday to monday
greeting the morning
seven directions calling
days fill in my void
monday means work time mindframe
friday kicks in recklessness
waking and living
picking the food from chaos
can't cut what we use
the wholeness is the whole thing
and orbits are a constant
shot pool at orbitz
kids who were high school stars felt
uncomfortable
with the eight ball that gleaned
the felted path to pocket
snortin' rails and lines
my pockets turn inside out
sharing and it's gone
selfish minds sharing lines last
as long as money's easy
giving way to stars
what you are seeing right now
passed to past long gone
lightning zip zap flash anse
stand right now scream like lupo
superheroes dance
bright colors flash like spent bulbs
old worn underoos
pictures steal souls say old drunks
whose heritage is diseased
[Suzy, Paola, Dave, Raven... in no particular order of participation...poetry is stupid]
makes the break for the pokeberry
purple mouth and fur
some folks cook pokeweed in pots
vinegar calming the taste
where the kitchen soothes
to understand its meaning
an apron's worn space
curving the waist of love dirt
filling emptying the sink
dishes stack three high
sunday morning quick clean-up
for scrambled egg pan
bloody mary celery
eases sunday to monday
greeting the morning
seven directions calling
days fill in my void
monday means work time mindframe
friday kicks in recklessness
waking and living
picking the food from chaos
can't cut what we use
the wholeness is the whole thing
and orbits are a constant
shot pool at orbitz
kids who were high school stars felt
uncomfortable
with the eight ball that gleaned
the felted path to pocket
snortin' rails and lines
my pockets turn inside out
sharing and it's gone
selfish minds sharing lines last
as long as money's easy
giving way to stars
what you are seeing right now
passed to past long gone
lightning zip zap flash anse
stand right now scream like lupo
superheroes dance
bright colors flash like spent bulbs
old worn underoos
pictures steal souls say old drunks
whose heritage is diseased
[Suzy, Paola, Dave, Raven... in no particular order of participation...poetry is stupid]
Monday, October 10
LOUNGE PLAYER: Tejas
ZZ Top is most widely known for their MTV-era synthesized mega-hit shit like "Legs" and "Sharp Dressed Man", but that shit got played out unless you wanna strut around like Jimmy Garvin in some sequined pants on a Saturday night. But that was my first exposure to ZZ Top, being I was a young buck back then. Holy fuck is the older shit better. Even their newer shit, like the last few years, is better than you'd expect from some old dudes. I guess Billy Gibbons does drugs again, and not hyper goofy dance drugs but introspective heady drugs, which is the basis of all great rock-n-roll.
Tejas is their classic for me tonight, good simple wine-drinking (screwtop wine, not corked bottles) music for a drizzly night, hating on bills and hating on bossmen and hating on it being Monday when finances and obligations force you to at least pretend to be nothing more than a weekend warrior, but you know come tomorrow, you'll blow off work early and go sit by the river, going elbow-deep into a 12-pack, hoping to not get arrested for driving while blind because of stupid mothers against drunk drivers lobbying power.
Saturday, October 8
MX-du Renga #1
cool october sky
cut by a comet slicing
across the treetops
handed down by starlight streek
the wiz dreamed music beats
beer circles clover
jukebox awaits its moment
likewise rocking horse
kids grow faster than wild hops
hipness waits for teen ego
hoops spread from vintage
skirts the past in circular
rim shots reel the edge
slam-dunk love affairs began
in courting parlors - old school
chain link hoops chink loops
lyrical asphalt clatter
basketball matters
lone kid lacking athletic
prowess sits still silently
praying mantis casing
resting in your palm open-handed
stillness that centered
god and experience make
conflict in non-animals
resolve to listen
steady breathing with your mind
taking thoughts and time
truthful worry and a grin
a watchword in the darkness
dwelling in shadows
are parts of yourself you don't
always recognize
smearing paint pressed in your hands
streaking down your arms tired
rest comes with old age
at least that's what's promised by
people who hold reins
old in the way of greying
assisted living buildings
[suzy, paola, dave, raven... in no particular order of participation...poetry is stupid]
cut by a comet slicing
across the treetops
handed down by starlight streek
the wiz dreamed music beats
beer circles clover
jukebox awaits its moment
likewise rocking horse
kids grow faster than wild hops
hipness waits for teen ego
hoops spread from vintage
skirts the past in circular
rim shots reel the edge
slam-dunk love affairs began
in courting parlors - old school
chain link hoops chink loops
lyrical asphalt clatter
basketball matters
lone kid lacking athletic
prowess sits still silently
praying mantis casing
resting in your palm open-handed
stillness that centered
god and experience make
conflict in non-animals
resolve to listen
steady breathing with your mind
taking thoughts and time
truthful worry and a grin
a watchword in the darkness
dwelling in shadows
are parts of yourself you don't
always recognize
smearing paint pressed in your hands
streaking down your arms tired
rest comes with old age
at least that's what's promised by
people who hold reins
old in the way of greying
assisted living buildings
[suzy, paola, dave, raven... in no particular order of participation...poetry is stupid]
Friday, October 7
Wrestling Tanka - Set Two
[Bump on Rhodes]
If Dusty's red splotch
could talk, it might say: I have
dreams too, Amer'ca.
He conceals them behind a
crimson babyface - focused.
~~~~~~~
[Four Horsemen]
J.J. Dillon lets
his resentment of Ole
into his promos.
Ole lets his hatred of
ev'rything stifle his life.
~~~~~~~
[The Great Kabuki]
Staring at sailboat
paintings, Kabuki waits in
the small hotel room.
Gary Hart will return with beer -
probably Lone Star bottles.
~~~~~~~
[The Von Erichs]
Fritz Von Erich drives
around his ranch, always in
the Texas sunset.
Four young gravemarkers needing
not much math - his legacy.
~~~~~~~
[CLAWHOLD!]
The Iron Claw is
a perfect finisher - cruel
submission or pin.
A single fingerless black
glove adds to the move's aura.
~~~~~~~
[Dewey Robertson's Lament]
Missing Link pauses
by the black curtains; should he
carpool with the ref?
It would be fast, but Race and
Murdoch will have beer to share.
~~~~~~~
[Classy Freddie Blassie]
Freddie Blassie looks
down at us mortals and laughs;
we ARE pencilnecks.
Cigar ash burns in night skies
while geeks seek internet shoots.
If Dusty's red splotch
could talk, it might say: I have
dreams too, Amer'ca.
He conceals them behind a
crimson babyface - focused.
~~~~~~~
[Four Horsemen]
J.J. Dillon lets
his resentment of Ole
into his promos.
Ole lets his hatred of
ev'rything stifle his life.
~~~~~~~
[The Great Kabuki]
Staring at sailboat
paintings, Kabuki waits in
the small hotel room.
Gary Hart will return with beer -
probably Lone Star bottles.
~~~~~~~
[The Von Erichs]
Fritz Von Erich drives
around his ranch, always in
the Texas sunset.
Four young gravemarkers needing
not much math - his legacy.
~~~~~~~
[CLAWHOLD!]
The Iron Claw is
a perfect finisher - cruel
submission or pin.
A single fingerless black
glove adds to the move's aura.
~~~~~~~
[Dewey Robertson's Lament]
Missing Link pauses
by the black curtains; should he
carpool with the ref?
It would be fast, but Race and
Murdoch will have beer to share.
~~~~~~~
[Classy Freddie Blassie]
Freddie Blassie looks
down at us mortals and laughs;
we ARE pencilnecks.
Cigar ash burns in night skies
while geeks seek internet shoots.
Tuesday, October 4
MX-du Renga - Explanation
Haiku, which is what I mostly throw up on this blog-foolishness, is actually a derivative of a the beginning of a longer form of Japanese poetry - renga. There all sorts of things you can google up to get a better peabody poindexter understanding of it, but basically, the concept behind renga is a three-line verse of 5-7-5 syllable structure (haiku), followed by a two-line verse of 7-7 syllable structure (tanka), back to the three-line 5-7-5, back to two-line 7-7, and so on. Folks would get together in groups and write these things, with each person only seeing the previous verse to base their verse off of, eventually creating an overall piece of structured chaos. Renga can be considered by some to only be true with 100 verses, but I've read of 40, 54, anything really being renga.
What we started doing was getting together the weekend before a new moon to get drunk and sit around and bullshit, listening to music, and writing this shit, passing around notebooks. There are those who were very serious about this in history, bringing large notebooks of haiku and tanka verses to put in the best positions during renga parties. We are of the looser crowd, freestyling it, and not being all rigid. Thus, our renga's only requirement is that we do it around the kitchen table, and it end with a 7-7 verse. I'll be putting these up along the way as we do them. I won't even be trying to have any sensible punctuation though, as not everyone thinks about that when passing a little shitty notebook around the kitchen table while getting drunk. Like you even care.
What we started doing was getting together the weekend before a new moon to get drunk and sit around and bullshit, listening to music, and writing this shit, passing around notebooks. There are those who were very serious about this in history, bringing large notebooks of haiku and tanka verses to put in the best positions during renga parties. We are of the looser crowd, freestyling it, and not being all rigid. Thus, our renga's only requirement is that we do it around the kitchen table, and it end with a 7-7 verse. I'll be putting these up along the way as we do them. I won't even be trying to have any sensible punctuation though, as not everyone thinks about that when passing a little shitty notebook around the kitchen table while getting drunk. Like you even care.
Wrestling Tanka - Set One
[Chain in trunks gimmick]
Old ladies fretting
at the blood of their hero
while the slick heel smirks.
Crowd, face, villain, ref - all locked
in the square dance of kayfabe.
~~~~~~~
[Ox Baker]
Stop men's hearts twice in
life, and sport wild bush brows to
be Big Ox Baker.
At night, the Spirit of The
Bus'ness fights two ghosts; he snores.
~~~~~~~
[Tully & Gino]
Gold-trimmed sunglasses,
some technical prowess, and
a cokehead's swagger.
In the blink of His eye, their
God would claim them as His own.
~~~~~~~
[Jimmy Snuka]
Flashes devil horns,
soaks in crowd's awe, and transforms
into Superfly.
"I love you," in Hawaiian;
aerial splash onto flesh.
~~~~~~~
[Macho Man]
Gone insane with style,
launching longhaired elbowdrops
in Louisville's lore.
Flying, lethal axehandle
making Southern tempers flare.
~~~~~~~
[Harley Race's kneedrop]
Perpendicular
angling of the legend's leg
added leverage.
Aerodynamic afro
and sideburns made more hurting.
~~~~~~~
[Ernie Ladd]
Well-spoken black man
bending The Man's rules for his
gain threatens the marks.
H. Rapp Brown's favorite pro
wrestler wears the crown with sass.
Old ladies fretting
at the blood of their hero
while the slick heel smirks.
Crowd, face, villain, ref - all locked
in the square dance of kayfabe.
~~~~~~~
[Ox Baker]
Stop men's hearts twice in
life, and sport wild bush brows to
be Big Ox Baker.
At night, the Spirit of The
Bus'ness fights two ghosts; he snores.
~~~~~~~
[Tully & Gino]
Gold-trimmed sunglasses,
some technical prowess, and
a cokehead's swagger.
In the blink of His eye, their
God would claim them as His own.
~~~~~~~
[Jimmy Snuka]
Flashes devil horns,
soaks in crowd's awe, and transforms
into Superfly.
"I love you," in Hawaiian;
aerial splash onto flesh.
~~~~~~~
[Macho Man]
Gone insane with style,
launching longhaired elbowdrops
in Louisville's lore.
Flying, lethal axehandle
making Southern tempers flare.
~~~~~~~
[Harley Race's kneedrop]
Perpendicular
angling of the legend's leg
added leverage.
Aerodynamic afro
and sideburns made more hurting.
~~~~~~~
[Ernie Ladd]
Well-spoken black man
bending The Man's rules for his
gain threatens the marks.
H. Rapp Brown's favorite pro
wrestler wears the crown with sass.
Tuesday, September 13
Death Valley Driver Video Review #151 Hype!
DVDVR #151
I've been slacking on keeping track of this thing, mostly because blogs are evil traps to ensnare me into the mind-weakening folds of the internet, but I figured I'd mention to the three of you who look at this about the DVDVR from a week or two back. I did a couple of long-winded funny reviews about IWA East Coast wrestling and Chikara wrestling, plus some other shit too.
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