Aki Basho 2018 Honour Tanka Day Eight: RYUDEN (7-1)

[young Ryuden flexing a little] 

Hokutofuji 

entered day eight as one of 

four unbeaten dudes 

across the way - Ryuden 

the young hopeful rikishi 

Ryuden showed mad 

promise at first, coming up 

same time as Abi 

but that boy Ryuden has 

been little inconsistent 

consistency at 

upper sumo echolon 

never that easy 

big fuckers smashing you, two knees 

carrying weight like peasants 

upon this eighth day 

of autumn aki basho, 

Ryuden stepped up 

too many dudes still ain't lost, 

leaderboard tightens daily 

Hokutofuji, low on 

banzuke scroll, dreaming of 

potential title 

but Ryuden ruined them 

hopes, putting first X on sheet 

Hokutofuji 

held at edge, resisting his 

first basho defeat 

but Ryuden was like "fuck 

that" - tossed my man to the floor 

is Ryuden real? 

has he found inspiration 

to perform sikkly? 

don't fuckin' know bro; I'm just 

watching some good ass sumo 

SONG OF THE DAY: Iblis Amghar

Mdou Moctar infamously became internet famous when he starred in the movie “Rain the Colour of Blue with a Little Red in it” which was a Tuareg re-envisioning of Purple Rain. Normally, one would be wary of Prince comparisons or positioning a dude next to culturally certified legend like that, but Mdou Moctar delivers. Nothing has been in higher rotation for ya boy dirtgod the past year.

It got me to thinking though, what would I do for personal vehicle as remake of classic movie? Perhaps a a redo of Cockfighter called Haikufighter where I refuse to speak again until I’ve trained in the mountains to truly conquer all haiku opponents and win a tiny little award. It’d be perfect metaphysical vehicle for me too, as I have a highly problematic history (because human, and also born trash), and not sure the post-pata-modern woke internet world could even handle trying to unpack Cockfighter the movie. Of course cockfighting is barbaric and horrible and inhumane. But it’s also a strange subculture, and they got a lot of sick t-shirts at the Latinx flea market featuring that as motif.

For clarity, I spent years raising chickens, and I’d never train them to fight. It’s a shitty thing, especially when made extra inhumane in those ways only humans are actually good at, where you strap on steel gaffes because roosters just naturally fighting like they always do wasn’t entertaining enough. But in those times I had more than one roosters (which happens a lot when you have chickens), it was strangely fascinating to watch them ruffle out their feathers and fly at each other, leg gaffes first. Unfortunately, too many roosters usually leads to them battering all your hens as well, so too many roosters means somebody has to go. I used to leave them by the river sometimes, which might sound horrible but is that worse than giving them away for free on Craigslist so you kick your problem down the road to some other unsuspecting person? I hoped that maybe the elven tribe down by the James River at Seven Islands would adopt the roosters too, but I don’t know. Been thinking about the elves with all the rain and potential flooding. I hope they’re okay. I hope the roosters I left there have bred with idling freight trains and are okay and their giant industrial steelcock offspring are okay. I hope Mdou Moctar is okay, wherever he is. And I hope I am okay. Am I?

twitter renga #0818

[twitter renga done one tanka at a time, 

at my @_raven_mack_ twit acct] 

one year after "bad 
people on both sides" comments, 
bad energies rise 

life in America feels 
more fascist than not most days 

I sit at bus stop 
right where people were beaten 
most days of the week 

walk through that intersection 
multiple times every week 

information shared 
through digital means is not 
real information 

educating yourself by 
clicking links is false knowledge 

then again, nothing's 
real; all's a conspiracy; 
life has no meaning 

grasping for explanations 
like drowning fingers at air 

already declared 
state of emergency for 
downtown Charlottesville 

one thousand geared-up cops shall 
arrive, but for what purpose? 

community on 
edge pushed closer to edge, with 
no explanation 

we're left to dwell on hearsay, 
rumors, and filtered info 

the past week felt more 
like a month to be honest - 
your boy's exhausted

proud of my community 
though, surviving together 

psychic exhaustion 
hard to sleep off - can't unsee 
stealth panopticon 

"sharing openly" online 
means self-snitching - DON'T FORGET 

community cares 
for themselves when/wherever 
institutions fail 

the quality of this care 
is also vastly improved 

world continuing 
to cave inward, withdrawing 
to only safe space 

withdrawn, and lacking support, 
navigating the darkness 

why are so many 
others' needs tethered to me? 
what about raven? 

how the fuck do I escape 
this heartless plough horse feeling? 

"it will get better" 
people assure, but nothing 
suggests this is true 

the tethers become further 
tangled, more complicated 

anxiety and 
anger, anxiety and 
anger... on repeat 

remind myself to breathe deep; 
one day I'll breathe red clay 

my inheritance 
is addiction, depression, 
and self-destruction 

the privilege to destroy 
self in unobserved margins 

how much of whiteness 
is feudal servitude to 
lords, and not brothers? 

I'd rather slit golden throats 
than bemoan broken borders 

el jefe es un 
bastardo, this has always 
been true, from day one 

his father is greed, thus none 
of us seen as his equal 

patriarchal hymns 
and western civ progresses 
sown into young minds 

those who take pride in settling 
are denying themselves growth 

a universe grows 
in ways antithetical 
to economics 

hoarding resources with armed 
fist is not actual growth 

fearmongerers might 
control the digital fog 
machines, but not me 

tear down all the fences and 
your "both sides" argument dies 

TH3 M3TH0D1C4L M4DN3SS...

the methodical madness

of handwritten manuscripts

done with fat-tipped paint markers

Aki Basho 2018 Honour Tanka Day Seven: MITAKEUMI (6-1)

[everything that is great about giant dudes slap fighting in a ring] 

if there were any 

doubts young Mitakeumi was 

a beast, this squashed them 

of course he won last basho, 

of course he's a budding star 

my friend Dan (who is 

an accurate sumo star 

rater) had forewarned me 

this was perhaps sumo match 

of the year (at least thus far) 

Takakeisho - 

an even younger star, full 

of promise as well 

perhaps this was two young men 

fighting for yokozuna 

Takakeisho 

came hard as fuck - constant and 

most aggressively 

Mitakeumi persevered 

through hard slaps and strong throat thrusts 

Takakeisho 

stepped aside, Mitakeumi 

flirting with ring edge 

somehow after absorbing 

all that punishment, he spun 

as Mitakeumi 

looked to be finished, he did 

one-foot pirouette 

Takakeisho gave push, 

missed spinning Mitakeumi 

Takakeisho - 

perhaps sumo's future - dropped 

both palms to the sand 

Mitakeumi had survived 

toughest bout seen yet this year 

with one loss, still in 

striking distance after one 

week; crowded leaders 

Hakuho, Kakuryu, and 

Takayasu all ain't lost 

one week into this 

autumn basho, four men still 

sit undefeated 

and young Mitakeumi grows 

his legend more, one loss back 

Aki Basho 2018 Honour Tanka Day Six: TAKAYASU (6-0)

[Takayasu the ozeki lounger] 

Takayasu’s still 

one of my favorites - so 

cool-eyed, collected 

day six sees his opponent 

as Brazilian Kaisei 

obviously, not 

much sumo tradition in 

tropical Brazil 

Kaisei's held rank for some time, 

but been struggling this basho 

Takayasu wastes 

no time in wasting Kaisei, 

remains unbeaten 

Kaisei almost scores hip toss, 

yet Takayasu denies 

wobble without flip, 

he digs in and finishes 

Kaisei for six wins 

 one point, I thought he was 

destined for yokozuna 

he’s second-longest 

ozeki, but sat out past May 

basho entirely 

perhaps could’ve gotten wins 

then for the big promotion 

last basho, faired well, 

but wasn’t dominant like 

ozeki should be 

thus far this aki basho, 

unblemished record, calm-faced 

he never shows much 

emotion, possessing eyes 

like a true lounger 

two yokozuna, plus one 

other also unbeaten 

for ozeki to 

take that last step, he’s gotta 

choke out those above 

Hakuho and Kakuryu, 

however, still look too strong 

oh Takayasu - 

were you to gain promotion, 

would demeanor break? 

would yokozuna status 

cause aloof look to liven? 

W4ND3R1NG SM4LL T0WNS 4S 4DVLT...

wandering small towns as adult

which were big towns as a kid;

experience changes views

Aki Basho 2018 Honour Tanka Day Five: YOSHIKAZE (5-0)

[Yoshikaze's abnormal helicopter arm warm-up seems to be giving him powers] 

fifteen days of bouts, 

break them down to trinities - 

start, middle, and end 

your beginning must build the 

necessary momentum 

this is not unlike 

rikishi’s initial blast 

after both hands touch Earth 

middle trinity would be 

regaining a strong balance 

this establishes 

chance at final trinity - 

defeating failure 

thus that first five basho bouts 

creates your trajectory 

Yoshikaze has 

been makuuchi mainstay 

for over ten years 

one basho runner-up in 

all that time, zero titles 

his lowest ranking 

in a decade as well, he’s 

come out with real fight 

positioned in second bout of day 

means shrinking banzuke name 

but Yoshikaze, 

undefeated, maintains that 

momentum fifth day 

Chiyomaru is one of 

sumo’s most mountainous men 

but Yoshikaze 

attacks with veteran’s keen 

patient awareness 

surviving Chiyomaru’s 

initial blast, then grounding 

without shook footings, 

Yoshikaze thrusts the big 

opponent backwards 

and just like that, accomplished 

a perfect first trinity 

bigger opponents 

await though, with six other 

men still unbeaten 

all three yokozuna, plus 

an ozeki, and two more 

ain’t no basho 

like Tokyo basho because… 

well, it’s gonna stop 

but we’ve gone through the first third, 

and no one’s taken control 

L1V1NG TH4T L4T3 M0D3L L1F3...

living that late model life,

knowing how it feels to rust

while manufactured shines judge

C4D1LL4C D3V1LL3 F4D1NG...

Cadillac DeVille fading

along dead end side street, still

fresh as fuck, hiding in shade

25-Man Metaphysical Roster: Arsenal F.C.

[25-Man Metaphysical Roster is a football dork methodology meant to establish a listing of players who have been most active for English Premier League teams in their past 100 non-friendly matches. Essentially, it is calculated by minutes played, but weighted towards most recent games. The end result is a listing of the 25 players in a team’s recent history who have had the largest hand on their metaphysical sporting trajectory. The English Premier League was chosen because it is the highest level of football played in an English speaking country, and I speak English. Also, it is what comes on TV here in the USA, where I fucking live. And yet still I should clarify I hate English, and also America. Thus maybe I hate myself. Should I not fail in maintaining my unpaid deadline, a new 25-Man Metaphysical Roster will appear on the 1st and 15th of every month.]

WORKING THROUGH A MISSED YEAR BECAUSE WE RE-LAUNCHING THIS BITCH ON JUNE 1ST, 2019!!! This would’ve been the Arsenal one last September...

#1: GRANIT XHAKA (up from #7 last time Arsenal was metaphysically ranked on 01-Oct-2017)

#2: HECTOR BELLERIN (up from #4 last time)

#3: SHKODRAN MUSTAFI (up from #8 last time)

#4: PETR CECH (up from #6 last time)

#5: NACHO MONREAL (down from #1 last time)

#6: MESUT OZIL (down from #3 last time)

#7: AARON RAMSEY (up from #9 last time)

#8: LAURENT KOSCIELNY (down from #5 last time)

#9: ALEX IWOBI (up from #14 last time)

#10: ALEXANDRE LACAZETTE (up from #25 last time)

#11: DANNY WELBECK (up from #17 last time)

#12: JACK WILSHERE (previously ranked #20 for Bournemouth on 15-Mar-2018)

#13: SEAD KOLSINAC (up from #23 last time)

#14: MOHAMED ELNENY (up from #18 last time)

#15: ROB HOLDING (up from #16 last time)

#16: ALEXIS SANCHEZ (down from #2 last time; also previously ranked #16 for Manchester United on 15-Aug-2018)

#17: DAVID OSPINA (up from #19 last time)

#18: AINSLEY MAITLAND-NILES (up from #24 last time)

#19: CALUM CHAMBERS (previously ranked #17 for Middlesbrough on 01-Apr-2017)

#20: PIERRE-EMERICK AUBAMEYANG

#21: HENRIKH MKKHITARYAN (previously ranked #18 for Manchester United on 15-Aug-2018)

#22: OLIVIER GIROUD (down from #11 last time; also previously ranked #18 for Chelsea on 01-Sep-2018)

#23: THEO WALCOTT (down from #12 last time; also previously ranked #17 for Everton on 01-Aug-2018)

#24: FRANCIS COQUELIN (down from #15 last time)

#25: PER MERTESACKER (down from #21 last time)