SONG OF THE DAY: Wanted Dead or Alive (kudzu'd)

Slowing music is like frying foods where you make something disgusting okay. Thus, kudzu’d Bon Jovi is like fried okra… just barely tolerable, and even then, only occasionally.

PR4CT1C3 1LL3G1T1M4T3...

practice illegitimate 
arts constantly, outsider 
attempts to beautify life 

SONG OF THE DAY: Slip 'N' Slide

Perhaps the most loungin’ musical instrument that has ever existed (other than maybe a theremin) is the Hammond B-3 organ. It’s got a unique sound that just pulls the Power of Lounge from the blessed twisted souls who are called to master it. Delvon Lamarr is perhaps the sickest of active practitioners of the Hammondite sect. Sadly, Lamarr is not yet included on the Wikipedia page for notable players of Hammond organs. It takes time for normal mainstream society to catch up to those moving the actual spirit of existence forward though.

B0RN T0 RVST, FVLL 0F P0T3NT14L...

born to rust, full of potential 
which never got tapped into 
entirely, lost in margins 

SONG OF THE DAY: No Man Has Ever Touched Me

No man has ever touched me like this either. I hope I’m not missing anything.

R41S3D T0 B3 STR4T3G1C...

raised to be a strategic 
burnout which goes off fast as 
fuck in inspired increments 

3MB3ZZL1NG B4CK 4S M4NY...

embezzling back as many 
minutes from another day 
in debt as a dirtgod can 

SONG OF THE DAY: The Devil Gives Me Everything

Sometimes a lifelong artist who constantly indulges in their creative outlets catches the universal magnetics and accidentally composes a piece of creation that attains near perfection for a human being. This is such a song. Willie West is a living legend of funk, and has enjoyed a resurrected career in recent years. But this track just captures it all – reality, the fucked nature of human existence, feeling good despite being brought down all the damn time. This is a motherfuckin’ jam (and perfect to blend with William DeVaughn’s “Be Thankful For What You’ve Got”).

L3SS C0NSVM3D BY M1NVT134'S...

less consumed by minutiae’s 
frustrations as I panned out 
to infinite perspective 

C0CKSVR3 1N MY C0VNTRY P3N...

cocksure in my country pen, 
but unsure in larger world, 
I still crow my constant shit 

SONG OF THE DAY: Come Go With Me

I am a natural born Aquarius, and in fact perhaps the most possible Aquarian of all Aquarii because I was born on Valentines Day. But I have a shameful admission to make, despite all those blessings upon my born day. I have never once slept in, much less owned, a heart shaped waterbed. It feels embarrassing to even admit. A man like myself should've been well into his third, maybe fourth heart shaped waterbed by now, having outgrown a smaller version, and blossomed into a full larger than king-sized one by now. But nope, just sleeping on a regular ass mattress like a Virgo or some shit.

1 C0M3 FR0M 4 L0NG L1N3 0F...

I come from a long line of 
drunkards, shit talkers, natural 
born don’t give half a fuckers 

SONG OF THE DAY: The Other Woman (kudzu'd)

An example of the beauty of cheatin' ass songs, made about creeping around on your primary relationship. I guess on one hand it's good we've progress to more open relationships, allowing for everyone to better express their desires. But on the other hand, I don't think it'd be as great if Ray Parker Jr. was just singing about someone in the polycule bugging him about washing dishes more often. Although maybe he'd still be creeping on the polycule with another couple down in Asheville... who knows? Human beings gonna be human.

D0N'T H4T3 TH3 PL4Y3R, H4T3 TH3...

“don’t hate the player, hate the 
game” carnival world where we 
compromise self for prizes 

SONG OF THE DAY: RVA Follies

Having enjoyed my own RVA follies over the years, I enjoy this song. DJ Harrison is pretty great. Also lolol at 1990s gentrifiers who get mad about the RVA branding as having ruined Richmond and drawing in 2010s gentrifiers. It was all of y’all. The city was not cooler because cooler people were displacing poor people than the more normal people displacing poor people now. Relatedly, the "Jeff Davis Flea Market" is the absolute most perfect ending for anything Jeff Davis, a wonderful multicultural raggedy ass flea market where you can get piñatas and purple camouflage pants that would make the actual Jeff Davis roll over in his grave.

C4RRY1NG TH3 W4T3R 0F...

carrying the water of 
a world spun intricately 
by men without grand design 

SONG OF THE DAY: Sassy Lady (kudzu'd)

I didn't watch much Star Wars shit as a kid, but whatever that one scene is where they're in a garbage pit and the walls are squeezing in, I'm glad I at least saw that one, because that's scene definitely embodies existence.

WH3N 1 D13, 1 H0P3 T0 B3...

when I die, I hope to be 
remembered as patron saint 
of positive foolishness 

Hatsu Basho 2023 Honour Tanka Day Ten: ABI (6-4)

[Takakeisho stumbling in the final third, 

tightening things up] 

Abi won the last 
basho, but has struggled so 
far New Year's basho 

I always associate 
him with Ryuden in mind 

they both debuted at 
top level the same New Year's 
basho, three years back 

both fighting to achieve their 
kachi-koshi, maintain place 

Abi begins with 
thrusting attack, seemingly 
poised for victory 

Ryuden fights it off at 
dohyo's edge, and flips the script 

one-dimensional 
rikishi mind would've flailed 
and been beaten then 

Abi, however, quickly 
stepped aside and slapped holmes down 

Ryuden tumbled 
to the outside, as Abi 
walked back to his side 

taking the pay envelope stack 
from gyoji, like a boss 

R4TH3R B3 GV1D3D T0W4RDS...

rather be guided towards 
goodness than channeled into 
indulgence of poor choices 

S3LF-M4NVF4CTVR3D 1C0NS...

self-manufactured icons 
of saintly encouragement 
work like guardian angels 

N0N3 0F 0VR 1D3NT1T13S...

none of our identities 
escape death; and yet also, 
it is spirit’s salvation 

TH3 H0P3FVLN3SS 0F 4 BLV3...

the hopefulness of a blue 
sky, reflecting the ocean’s 
primordial traditions 

Hatsu Basho 2023 Honour Tanka Day Nine: HIRADOUMI (6-3)

[looking like Takakeisho's basho to lose] 

Kotoshōhō came 
into day 9 tied for lead 
with Takakeishō 

his rapid ascent challenged 
by younger Hiradoumi 

Hiradoumi's had 
only two bashos before 
as makuuchi 

last basho, he earned 10 wins, 
and highest ranking ever 

two behind leader, 
Hiradoumi's having an 
impressive basho 

both he and Kotoshōhō 
clutch mawashis for control 

Kotoshōhō backs 
Hiradoumi up, looking 
for lift and push out 

but Hiradoumi holds tight 
his grip of Kotoshōhō 

twisting him sideways,
Hiradoumi forces his 
opponent over 

Kotoshōhō's grip on the 
lead slips just as easily 

entering final 
third of basho, chasing a 
hungry ozeki 

but for now, let us applaud 
Hiradoumi's scrappy win