Masked Assassins always lurk around every corner, looking to chop off a true beard. True beard and fake beard discourse has always been stifled in our culture, because we live in a Great Time of Fake Beards. You see them, in fact, donning masks, and being the Secret Police lately, looking to kidnap people at work, on a “per head” bounty quota where the more they disappear people, the fatter their paycheck gets. These are fake beards, and you need not shave their face, because when they pull the balaclava down, the weakness of their bed is obvious. It is moisturized by the Yakubian propaganda they climb into through their handheld portals. A true beard is more akin to a blackberry bush, an as wild and wonderful as the worst towns in West Virginia. True beards cannot be trimmed, except by fire. This is also how a true beard’s soul is, because it is powered by heart (fire organ) and not brain (easily poisoned well of consciousness).
Thus, Masked Assassins lurk, working for the devil state, hoping to steal a true beard’s wizardly wisps of contrarian knowledge. But even if they chop it off, it’s a false victory, because the wisps have grown inward as long as they’ve grown outwards, and the visual hairs return more rapidly than a fake beard could ever hope to grow it (with all his fancy pseudo-scientific beard oil in the world). And the Masked Assassins can never chop the internal beard of a true beard. So they concentrate on poisoning more minds and growing the ranks of the false beards. But they are all weak-souled men, and they will once again scrape the false beards from their faces to appear as smooth as a baby’s ass, because they have no elderly wisdom accumulated over the generations, and desire that childlike smoothness, in both themselves and their partners. Though they appear strong right now, they are inherently weak, and a true beard will always outlive these incursions of unlounge.
Thus, Masked Assassins lurk, working for the devil state, hoping to steal a true beard’s wizardly wisps of contrarian knowledge. But even if they chop it off, it’s a false victory, because the wisps have grown inward as long as they’ve grown outwards, and the visual hairs return more rapidly than a fake beard could ever hope to grow it (with all his fancy pseudo-scientific beard oil in the world). And the Masked Assassins can never chop the internal beard of a true beard. So they concentrate on poisoning more minds and growing the ranks of the false beards. But they are all weak-souled men, and they will once again scrape the false beards from their faces to appear as smooth as a baby’s ass, because they have no elderly wisdom accumulated over the generations, and desire that childlike smoothness, in both themselves and their partners. Though they appear strong right now, they are inherently weak, and a true beard will always outlive these incursions of unlounge.
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