I’ve had a pretty giant HO scale large town/maybe even corner of a small city scene set up, and it had been pretty nice for a while. I got a large number of little 1/87 size plastic figures from eBay in bulk – like a giant set of 300 workers, city figures, etc. These folks had populated the city for a while, and things seemed to be fine. I don’t get to go down there and run the train that often, but I hadn’t noticed any problems, with these Chinese manufactured migrants to my basement HO city.
The problem came up when I got some higher-priced Woodland Scenics hobos. I specifically wanted some hobos, and though it did seem counterintuitive economically that I could get like 300 figures for $10, but a set of 5 hobos was $19, what can I say, I wanted some hobos. There were two sitting hobos you could put in an open box car, but I put them on a bench in front of the corner store. And then three more meant to sit around a fire I guess, as one of them is cooking something on a stick, another is sitting on a crate, holding a can, and the last guy is standing there with a stick and bindle over his shoulder. But I hadn’t taken into consideration the differing economic status of these fancy Woodland Scenics hobos, as compared to all the plastic proles I’d gotten off eBay. And I hadn’t been running the train enough, I guess. When I came back one times a few weeks ago, there were all these little mailers about wanting to tear out the rail line on the far end of town, and change it to a biking and hiking trail, to try and attract tourism. The little mailer mentioned how the factories and offices on the far edge of town had been closed down for as long as anybody can remember. But these aren’t even full HO buildings, but just a façade I have set up against the wall. You can’t even get in these places; it’s just decorative background! Nonetheless, it seems someone was trying to initiate tearing out the tracks for tourism. And I’d noticed the bindle standing hobo was outside the one government building I had built, with the two sitting dudes now sitting on a bench beside him (with, for some reason, EVERY SINGLE police officer from the bulk package off eBay, even though I’d purposefully never put those in my little city). Thus, I suspected these guys as being the ringleaders of whatever was going on. But I hadn’t gone into the basement to get involved in HO scale politics, or tinker with my city… only to retrieve a couple milk crates of Easyriders from the 1970s, for a project.
Well, when I went back to put the milk crates full of old ass Easyriders back down there, half the train tracks were gone. I have no idea where they are. And like little brown sand/pebble trails are in the place. The track doesn’t even connect anymore, which means I don’t have a closed circuit for the train to run I wanted to run it. And I can’t find the fuckin’ track. Not only did these little assholes tear out track, but they destroyed the possibility of it ever working again, unless I find what’s been taken away, or figure out a way to replace it.
Those three dudes were there again, at a little gazebo they’d moved from a park across town to by the new hiking paths, and being I figured the bindle guy was the leader, I plucked him out the city, and took him upstairs and tucked him into a drawer in my desk, without thought. But then, he ended up back in the city again, which I only knew because I happened to see one of the police figures in my hallway, which made me go check the desk drawer again, confirming he was gone from there, and then going to the basement to confirm he was back in HO town. So I took him again, and this time snapped him inside an empty Altoids container which I store my thumb drives of scanned naked Polaroids. I figured the little plastic police officers couldn’t open the Altoids tin, so I had him trapped this time.
But then, of course, I saw TWO little police figures in the hall, plus one in the kitchen. I ran to the Altoids tin in my desk drawer, and not only was the bindle figure gone, but so were the three flash drives full of naked Polaroids. But here’s where it got fucked up. I went immediately to the basement, and looked for the bindle asshole Woodland Scenics fucker, and he was over by the weird little slummy hotel I built, which is my favorite piece in the whole city. I spent so much time on it to make it look perfectly fucked. But this bindle leader guy was standing over there, by the tracks that still existed, and a gondola was sitting alone there, which I love because I did a graffiti piece that says PONYO because I like to pretend my cat Ponyo is a graffiti artist in this HO town. Well, the gondola had two of the missing flash drives, but not the third, which has scans of a lot of naked Polaroids of me with previous lovers, all taken with consent, but not something either I or they would want shared openly. It was lime green, which I knew had the best (wildest) stuff on it. And there was that little asshole, with his nonchalant stare, knowing damn well he’d taken these, and was withholding the most sensitive one. And to what purposes? Like, I assume I’m being blackmailed by this little fucker, but how do I know? And what does he want exactly? No idea, but I’ve let him have the run of HO town for now, until we can figure this out.
Anyways, the whole thing sucks, because normally having little magical people would seem to be a blessing. But instead it’s just caused me worry and anxiety, and I can’t even play with my damn HO scale town anymore. And I’m afraid to rip the thing apart because then they might leak this flash drive onto the internet. Not sure why I admit all of this to you, other than to say, be careful of the magic you conjure in your life. That shit’s way more complicated than you realize oftentimes.
The problem came up when I got some higher-priced Woodland Scenics hobos. I specifically wanted some hobos, and though it did seem counterintuitive economically that I could get like 300 figures for $10, but a set of 5 hobos was $19, what can I say, I wanted some hobos. There were two sitting hobos you could put in an open box car, but I put them on a bench in front of the corner store. And then three more meant to sit around a fire I guess, as one of them is cooking something on a stick, another is sitting on a crate, holding a can, and the last guy is standing there with a stick and bindle over his shoulder. But I hadn’t taken into consideration the differing economic status of these fancy Woodland Scenics hobos, as compared to all the plastic proles I’d gotten off eBay. And I hadn’t been running the train enough, I guess. When I came back one times a few weeks ago, there were all these little mailers about wanting to tear out the rail line on the far end of town, and change it to a biking and hiking trail, to try and attract tourism. The little mailer mentioned how the factories and offices on the far edge of town had been closed down for as long as anybody can remember. But these aren’t even full HO buildings, but just a façade I have set up against the wall. You can’t even get in these places; it’s just decorative background! Nonetheless, it seems someone was trying to initiate tearing out the tracks for tourism. And I’d noticed the bindle standing hobo was outside the one government building I had built, with the two sitting dudes now sitting on a bench beside him (with, for some reason, EVERY SINGLE police officer from the bulk package off eBay, even though I’d purposefully never put those in my little city). Thus, I suspected these guys as being the ringleaders of whatever was going on. But I hadn’t gone into the basement to get involved in HO scale politics, or tinker with my city… only to retrieve a couple milk crates of Easyriders from the 1970s, for a project.
Well, when I went back to put the milk crates full of old ass Easyriders back down there, half the train tracks were gone. I have no idea where they are. And like little brown sand/pebble trails are in the place. The track doesn’t even connect anymore, which means I don’t have a closed circuit for the train to run I wanted to run it. And I can’t find the fuckin’ track. Not only did these little assholes tear out track, but they destroyed the possibility of it ever working again, unless I find what’s been taken away, or figure out a way to replace it.
Those three dudes were there again, at a little gazebo they’d moved from a park across town to by the new hiking paths, and being I figured the bindle guy was the leader, I plucked him out the city, and took him upstairs and tucked him into a drawer in my desk, without thought. But then, he ended up back in the city again, which I only knew because I happened to see one of the police figures in my hallway, which made me go check the desk drawer again, confirming he was gone from there, and then going to the basement to confirm he was back in HO town. So I took him again, and this time snapped him inside an empty Altoids container which I store my thumb drives of scanned naked Polaroids. I figured the little plastic police officers couldn’t open the Altoids tin, so I had him trapped this time.
But then, of course, I saw TWO little police figures in the hall, plus one in the kitchen. I ran to the Altoids tin in my desk drawer, and not only was the bindle figure gone, but so were the three flash drives full of naked Polaroids. But here’s where it got fucked up. I went immediately to the basement, and looked for the bindle asshole Woodland Scenics fucker, and he was over by the weird little slummy hotel I built, which is my favorite piece in the whole city. I spent so much time on it to make it look perfectly fucked. But this bindle leader guy was standing over there, by the tracks that still existed, and a gondola was sitting alone there, which I love because I did a graffiti piece that says PONYO because I like to pretend my cat Ponyo is a graffiti artist in this HO town. Well, the gondola had two of the missing flash drives, but not the third, which has scans of a lot of naked Polaroids of me with previous lovers, all taken with consent, but not something either I or they would want shared openly. It was lime green, which I knew had the best (wildest) stuff on it. And there was that little asshole, with his nonchalant stare, knowing damn well he’d taken these, and was withholding the most sensitive one. And to what purposes? Like, I assume I’m being blackmailed by this little fucker, but how do I know? And what does he want exactly? No idea, but I’ve let him have the run of HO town for now, until we can figure this out.
Anyways, the whole thing sucks, because normally having little magical people would seem to be a blessing. But instead it’s just caused me worry and anxiety, and I can’t even play with my damn HO scale town anymore. And I’m afraid to rip the thing apart because then they might leak this flash drive onto the internet. Not sure why I admit all of this to you, other than to say, be careful of the magic you conjure in your life. That shit’s way more complicated than you realize oftentimes.
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