Last year, I bought a few hundred machetes, in bulk, from a strange bearded man in a purple cape at a flea market somewhere between Huntington and Charleston, West Virginia. He also had milk crates full of Easyriders magazines for a dollar each, and these cool walking sticks with pool balls as the handle. The ol’ boy didn’t say he was a wizard outright, but he had that vibe. I picked out a few Easyriders, and wanted a walking stick, but couldn’t afford it after spending all my cash money on a PT Cruiser’s rear end amount of machetes. (You’d be surprised how many secret wizards drive PT Cruisers, which I never would’ve expected. But we all have to find ways to thrive in the world we’re condemned to, even wizards.) As I was waiting to talk to the guy, some other dude was low-balling him on one of the walking sticks, and he sort of was pissing me off vicariously. When he finally gave up and waddled off in his Trump hat, I told the ol’ dude, “That guy was kind of an asshole.” The old guy looked at me and said, “Yeah, I was gonna curse him, but let’s be honest… he’s already cursed, by his own thinking.”
This was how my Machetes For Poets program began, as I’d like to consider myself a budding wizard, though I know I’ve got a long ways to go. I’ve been working with familiars a lot lately, and realizing the limitations of even an awesome cat familiar, like I have with Ponyo, because cats only cover a certain amount of land. I definitely see the practical benefits in shapeshifters. Also, in working with familiars, I’ve really come to think less of dogs. They’re so ruled by their own biases and desires, and are useless to magic. Don’t get me wrong, they’re still great for just regular ol’ pet type shit, and having this goofy animal that is dependent on you in comedic ways (especially hounds). But this post is not about cultivating relationships with familiars, or even politics, but about my Machetes For Poets initiative to help me in my budding wizardry. I figure giving machetes to poets is symbolically great (“the pen is mightier than the sword, but I got both motherfucker!), and also cultivates linguistic familiars out there for me. Having hundreds of poets think of you in the positive context of, “Oh, he’s that weird old bearded poet freak who gave me a machete!” This is helping lay the groundwork for the type of life I want to be leading when I’m in my 140s (Earth years).
This was how my Machetes For Poets program began, as I’d like to consider myself a budding wizard, though I know I’ve got a long ways to go. I’ve been working with familiars a lot lately, and realizing the limitations of even an awesome cat familiar, like I have with Ponyo, because cats only cover a certain amount of land. I definitely see the practical benefits in shapeshifters. Also, in working with familiars, I’ve really come to think less of dogs. They’re so ruled by their own biases and desires, and are useless to magic. Don’t get me wrong, they’re still great for just regular ol’ pet type shit, and having this goofy animal that is dependent on you in comedic ways (especially hounds). But this post is not about cultivating relationships with familiars, or even politics, but about my Machetes For Poets initiative to help me in my budding wizardry. I figure giving machetes to poets is symbolically great (“the pen is mightier than the sword, but I got both motherfucker!), and also cultivates linguistic familiars out there for me. Having hundreds of poets think of you in the positive context of, “Oh, he’s that weird old bearded poet freak who gave me a machete!” This is helping lay the groundwork for the type of life I want to be leading when I’m in my 140s (Earth years).
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